STRAIGHT LINE STITCH’S WHEN SKIES WASH ASHORE IS THE PROBLEM, NOT THE SOLUTION
Monday, August 4th, 2008 at 12:17pm by David Bee Roth
I knew that day would come. There I was having the time of my life; tanning poolside at the MS Mansion, enjoying my dream of writing reviews for decent and better metal albums, then I was suddenly woken from my dream with a sunburn and a steaming pile of Straight Line Stitch in my lap. I sighed deeply because I knew this wasn’t going to go down easy, but I had to see it through. This is my job after all and I may not be a professional but I am honest. Sort of the opposite of the twit that wrote SLS’s MySpace bio:
“Armed with an unstoppable work ethic and a musical vocabulary that stretches from face-ripping metal to soulful, stratospheric rock … STRAIGHT LINE STITCH are poised to grab heavy music by the horns with… When Skies Wash Ashore. Though just 11 tracks in length, the album packs more dynamics and diversity than many bands’ entire catalogs.”
I think I just rolled my eyes hard enough to give me whiplash.
Dynamics and diversity? Oh, are you talking about the screamed-verse-to-clean-vocal-chorus song structure? Or did you mean the predictable breakdowns that took about as much time to write as it took to read this paragraph? We’ve all seen this sort of schlocky writing before, and though it was probably written by some faceless label intern with the band having no say in it, it doesn’t make statements like this any less offensive:
“For every double-bass-pedal assault, death-metal-inspired guitar riff … there’s an equally strong hook, texture or atmosphere. And whether she’s shredding her throat on a verse or hitting a soulful melody at the chorus, [vocalist Alexis] Brown keeps SLS’ songs grounded in enough raw emotion to cause goose bumps in even the most jaded listener.”
You better believe that I’m one of those jaded listeners, friend, but Straight Line Stitch aren’t the solution, they’re the problem. I’m jaded from having to endure the same riffs I’ve heard plagiarized so many times that I’ve forgotten who in the thick, congested cesspit of metalcore is being ripped off in the first place. I’m disgruntled from having to hear pop hooks straight from a Kelly Clarkson album embedded between lifted riffs and a breakdown like a sandwich well past it’s expiry date. In 2008 it’s distressing to hear a metalcore band be this blandly unoriginal.
Oh and Ms. Brown’s vocal delivery is just what you’d expect from the genre. That same sort of well-coached scream coupled with a high-school choir quality clean voice, delivered technically and efficiently but ultimately unconvincingly.
Doing a track-by-track analysis is a difficult job here as I’ve pretty much summed up their formula for you already. Jamey Jasta makes a brief and unremarkable cameo in “Taste of Ashes” but considering I have nothing great to say about this musician either we’ll move on and save myself some bitching. The lead single “Black Veil” is almost good for the first minute before the heavy tension is shattered by the chorus hook. In fact this album had a couple parts where I found my ear perking up and I thought to myself “wait a minute that’s almost cool, play more of that,” but it usually descended quickly back into shitty. “World Made Flesh” manages to avoid this by saving the best for last with slow and heavy power-chords blanketed by atmospheric lead guitar work. Of course SLS lack the judgment necessary to end the album there and instead include the throwaway acoustic number “Yesterday’s Gone” as if to offer us some sort of reprieve. However, I assure you that I’m a big boy with thick skin and my pulse never went above 70 listening to this album.
Since SLS failed to scare me I’m not afraid to give their album the rating it deserves: One horn for knowing how to play their instruments and half a horn for almost, sometimes doing something worth listening to with them. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a tan line to work on and hopefully some better records to listen to.
(1 ½ out of 5 horns)
-DBR
Thanks for the warning, not that I was rushing out to check this out. I hated the first song they played on HBB and the second one was better but not all that great. Now I’m sure that I won’t be buying it.
If you watch the new shitty HBB on TV you obviously are either a moron, a christian, or a teenager. All of which means you have 1. no brain and 2. no fucking taste. I wont waste my time talking shit about Jamie Jasta, dudes livin the dream, dont hate, or that band you keep harping on, because its like i say about Slipknot, if you dont talk about then or acknowledge they exsist they will go away. Anyone remember The Murderdolls…? I thought so.
I have found that when you guys give bad reviews about bands records they are actually good records. Dunno if you guys just like slamming bands or what. But thanks to this review I will be picking this record up! It will most likely be badass.
^^ummm… ok… Travis dude, dunnow what other band you liked that got a bad review but seriously man, I’d rather have a colonoscopy and a root canal done simultaneously than listen to these guys ever again.
And I like Jasta.
HA!
They suck balls, but t least they’ve got “an unstoppable work ethic”!
Excellent review, spot on. This band thoroughly encapsulates “meh.”
Metal fans are a hard egg to crack generally, so I’m not surprised by this interview. I don’t think that they are a terrible band but something is helter skelter about it. Like they all come from different perspectives on metal and just mushed up their music to create mediocre metalcore. It’s good for the family-nice metal. For mall goths/scene kids and for openminded metal fans that don’t really want to be ‘technical’ about their selections.
So I definetly think that they are alright and if they aren’t consumed by their mainstream short lived fame they might learn from this sub par album and create a better one next time.
But lets be honest the main reason why they are getting half of the exposure is because not only do they have a female lead singer (gimmicky) but they also have a black girl lead singer (gimmicky)-I’m all for diversity in metal being a black girl myself but if your going to break into this genre you have to be fucking epic at it and not below average.
ily <333
black gurl who likes metal
get in meh bed…jk
Travis!!! Yes…a man that speaks truth!!!!
ALSO…SLS DEBUT @ #1 on CMJ!!!!
SIRIUS and XM LOOOOOOVES THIS BAND!!!!
I see new fans EVERY DAY FOR SLS!!!! They are the REAL DEAL and theTRUTH!!!!
Here is some math for all of you haters, wanna be bitches out there talkin’ ish about ALEXIS, PAT, SETH, JASON and PATRICK…5 people who have been doin’ the damn thing FOR REAL for YEARS!!! The math is for everyone of you 6 (SIX) haters there are about 100,000 fans for this band and more growing by each show they SHRED at each venue the KILL with their own UNIQUE BRAND OF METAL!!!
If any of you MORONS who call this band GIMMICKY bothered to READ their BIO…you’d see they’ve been doing this for YEARS…not weeks or at the mall!!!LOL…ALEXIS is as authentic as ANYONE ELSE to ever do the damn thing and dare I say…you better get used to see SLS and her around cuz talent like this does not come by often!!! SO just when you think you can put them in that BOX and close the lid and smile…BOOM…you’re gonna get CRACKED IN THE MOUTH with a FIST!!!LOL So relax, don’t get your panties all in a twist over a band that you or any of your childish banter will ever stop!!!
DBR…the bitter wannabe-ness is felt hanging off every single word you wrote from the bottom of your obviously hate filled self.
DBR is what we often refer to as a rock snob who declares himself important…never reveals his true name for fear of being ‘uncovered’ for the slimy coward slob that she is.
DBR has not done what SLS has done nor will she ever will. SLS has risen from the depths of the metal sludge, got a great record deal, toured the country relentlessly and earning new fans each and every show the same way every great rock and roll and metal band did before them. Their live show is legendary, their 5 hearts are as genuine as can be unlike the coward, the Gollom of this article.
DBR. Your a phony, a sham, a piece of nothing hiding behind a keyboard…go jump off a bridge, off yourself and save the world from anymore of your pointless riducle aimned at people who have fought through adversity in their personal lives, wrote music that heals them and their fans…if you can’t get a life DBS…end it.
SLS are an amazing band with talent to create music for years to come!!! I know because I signed them to my label at KOCH.
(so now…here it comes…they can barely wait to get their girlish fingers on the key bpard to type some pseudo intellectual reply bashing ME and MY LABEL and MY TASTES and bla bla bla bla wah wah wah wha…SHUT UP And stop being a bunch of bitches…cuz no matter how shit you talk…they are on TOUR LIVING THE DREAM!!!!)
RAGE
First saw them on headbangers ball and was impressed, brought the Ep and new album and I am hooked. Great music and vocals…..looking foward to seeing them at the Knitting factory. By the way out of 10 people who I turned the on to 9 loved them. If you dont like them thats you right, but quit the bashing…..or are you just mad you cant play or make music like them. I know people Bio Hazard and Type O and they got the same bs from assholes Both bands have done very well despite the negative BS. Asfore Lex being Black……who gives a flying fuck….I cant see her on my mp3 player but I sure as hell hear her and the band and they rock.
I really don’t think this band is that bad. I really enjoy the clean singing parts, the screaming not so much, but it is different from a lot of other bands’ screaming.
I like this band’s EP, they have a good live presence and she can scream. I’m excited to get my hands on the new CD and pop it into the CD player…I hear some bastardized version of Remission that operates under a different name, a re arranged version of Adult Cinema that has all of the guitar work ripped out of it and newly pussified harmonies. I am very very disappointed and I wonder if their label is on crack??? Under proper management they could have done well, they are supported by a lot of national acts and had great response to the EP, they release a video for remission and then change it up and don’t include that on the CD either????? Just WOW…
I have to say, I hated this band from the first time I ever heard them. They sounded like a contrived, cliched, 5th rate metal band to me! The first video they released was a classic example of how to polish a turd with technology. However I just heard some songs from their new album and I actually thought it was really good! I don’t know how they went from being total garbage to slapping together a good record but it seems like they did exactly that. The vocals are night and day better on the new album than the stuff I heard before . Alexis is much more believable when she actually sings than when she screams IMO. Her screaming sounds fake and predictable to me. It’s almost like she knows she’s not really pissed off but screaming is required so she does it anyway. On the other hand, her singing melodies are really memorable and she sings them really well. I haven’t listened to the whole record yet but the tracks that caught my attention so far were “Never See The Day”, “Eucharist” and “What You Do To Me”. They just need to start writing some better guitar riffs! The guitar parts are what piss me off about this band. These guys just do all the same stuff we’ve heard before a million times already. There’s not one original guitar riff to be found here!
This whole website is a stupid idea… it’s called MetalSucks. If metal sucks, then why are you listening to it? Everyone needs to realize that they should keep their opinions to themselves. Because there are plenty of people out there that love this type of music, and if you don’t, then shut up. Because people need to learn not to be so lazy and check bands out for themselves.
As far as SLS goes, I saw these guys on TV and they were great! They were good for what they were playing, they still have some stuff they can improve on, but hey, who doesn’t?
Thats just part of being in a band, you have to grow as a band and sometimes that means losing fans and some times that means getting more fans, either way, it’s something you love to do (at least it should be) and you should keep going no matter how bad people think you are. So, in conclusion, this whole freakin’ website was a stupid idea in the first place.
how much ya’ll wanna bet all the positive comments were from members of the band?
So I just left a reply on something else on this site I saw. What the hell is wrong with you people. ARE YOU ALL TONE DEAF? At least that is what I am beginning to think. These guys are my friends and I have known them for a while. I’ve known Lex the longest though. I know how much time and dedication she puts into her lyrics, her vocals, how she does whatever she can do to take care of her voice and not get sick, how she strives for a good show and always pulls one off. I have watched her change so much in the past few years, and her work with SLS is amazing. I don’t care what anyone says. I think the guys are weired out b/c there is a tiny black chick that can sing and scream her heart out and she is “out of element” Together these guys are amazing. The album is fantastic, and frankly I would really hate to know what some of you see as being good music. I think you need to check the album out and not rate them off their videos. What they are doing is awesome, and until I got on this stupid website I have never heard a bad thing about them. This album is pieced together nicely and you guys need to see them live. Now…go back to your Brittney Spears or whatever shit music you choose to listen to.
Candi, Please ask Lex why? I love this band…address my previous post directly and ask her WTF? I have met them, I love them live…but someone fucked up this albums arrangement royal.
Un-FUCKING-believable!!! Say, can any of you name the band you tour with? Ok… I didn’t think so. And DBR.. lemme guess… you’re a fucking PANTERA fan?? GET A FUCKIGN GRIP!!! How many more god damn songs do I have to hear from Phil “I’ll suck a Dick for a gig” Anselmo about how his daddy touched his pee-pee?? Metal was dead WAY before it started, but at least SLS is a genuine group. THey don’t use some fucked up sales gimmick, like fucking masks (SLIPKNOT) or fucking outdated halloween costumes (GWAR) and they have the balls to stand on the stage every night and play their fucking hearts out. I have spent time with the members of SLS, and dug into the meaning behind a song or two. Most particularly “Yesterday’s Gone”. For you to call it a “throw away” acoustic song is a slap in the face to their former drummer. That song was written in honor of his late father. SO in retalliation for the slap and spit you delivered to him and his band and his father… I HOPE YOUR FATHER CHOKES ON A GOD DAMN CHICKEN WING WHEN HE HEARS SLS ON OCTANE OR LIQUID METAL KNOWING FULL WELL YOU DON’T HAVE THE TALENT TO JERK YOUR WAY TO A ORGASM!!!! Asshole!!
The drummer and guitar player stopped by Subway today and I made them some sandwiches. In conversation I found out who they were. They had just done a show here in Knoxville the night before, and were headed to Alaska for their next. I decided to look them up and I get this crappy, generic radio metal that wishes it was the next Bullet for my Valentine. It’s just another shitty Arch Enemy/Killswitch metalcore band, the kind that I got bored of around the time I was 14.
Jeez, “metal” these days.
Seriously if you don’t like it thats you. However the talent is there. lex has an amazing voice. Jason is a sick bass player. I will admit this band has a lot to grow, but thats what makes them notable. The question isn’t talent, its direction. The only thing I can do as a fan is hope they continue to progress. For the haters, let individuals decide. I probably don’t like what you like. But usually if a band is talented you give them their due. My brother has bands I thought sucked on first listen, but after a few I hear interesting parts and hear it for what it is. All in all do what you want, but if you dont like SLS that much than you just Hate. when you have a narrow perspective your vision is worthless, when things are going on around you; open your eyes and ears. And if not than close them and remain quiet.
It’s not a question of whether or not I “like” the music. It’s that the music is simply bad, and subsequently anyone who likes them likes bad music. Lex has a steadfastly boring and generic radio-friendly scream that was coached by the queen of generic screams herself, Melissa Cross.
Any band can have “talent,” but if they are unable to channel that talent into meaningful and quality music, then they are bad musicians.
Just a quick reply here.
1. the reason her scream sounds generic is because she’s doing it correctly. Plus, almost everyone who learned straight from Melissa Cross has a different voice. For example, try comparing Keith Buckley to Phil Labonte to Spencer Chamberlain. They all sound different.
2. There is no such thing as bad music, or bad taste. Music is Music. If you don’t like it, that’s fine, it doesn’t mean it’s bad music. If you think a band sucks, that’s your opinion, which, I for one, could care less about.
3. There is NO SUCH THING, as a “radio-friendly” scream. Because, I don’t know how much radio you listen to, but metal music is played a whole lot, especially screaming. For example, Killswitch Engage’s “My Curse” was edited to take out the scream so it had a chance to be played on the radio, which it didn’t.
Anyhow, that’s my rant for the day.
1. Correct or not, it still lacks any feeling or artistic quality. It is quite the opposite of that and thus is bad.
2. I wouldn’t expect one as innocent and ignorant as yourself to understand this concept, so I will not bother arguing it as it is likely beyond your feeble grasp.
3. K, lol.
1. Yes, I do agree that Lex’s scream doesn’t have a lot of feeling to it. I just didn’t feel the need to bag on Melissa Cross
2. I’m pretty sure my “feeble grasp” could handle you simple concepts. Trust me, I used to say “this band sucks” and stuff like that, but I got a way from that because, all it did was piss people off and in turn pissed me off. Besides, a person likes a kind of music, or a certain band, that’s just who they are. If we all listened to the same music, it would be kinda boring.
3. Wow, total typo there! I put “metal music is played a whole lot”… I meant to put “metal music is NOT played a whole lot.” sorry about that.
2. A true critic can isolate his personal opinion of a subject in order to give his accurate critical observation without any bias. You used to argue more about music likely with only your opinion in mind. I used to be the same, as did everyone.
I do not necessarily intend to insult you or anyone who likes SLS. In other, less professional context I would mock someone to no end for doing so, but not here. I am not attempting to undermine your right to like them. Nonetheless, I will happily inform anyone willing to listen that they are not GOOD music, and if you like them, at least one of the bands you like is very very bad.
Yes, but even critics have bias. How is it that different critics have different reviews of the same thing, because that’s their opinion. Everything in life is opinionated. Whether you choose to live in a house or apartment; what car you drive; what type of music you listen to; what type of people you’re interested in. That’s why I believe there is no such thing as “no bias.”
Anyhoo, that’s my take on it.
My hand has 5 fingers. If I say it has 6 fingers, am I right or wrong?
I don’t know, I can’t see your hand.
You don’t need to see my hand; I already informed you that it has 5 fingers. This is a fact.
Okay, yes, your hand has five fingers. (most likely)
But… as you said this is a fact. Music being bad is not a fact, it’s an opinion.
You see, you having 5 fingers is something measurable. I can actually count your fingers and see that you have 5 fingers (or 4 fingers and a thumb). Music is subjective, it is not something measurable. There are measurable qualities of music (such as tempo, pitch, note subdivision) but music itself is not measurable. You cannot measure song writing, emotional content, lyrics, musician/singer skill. These are not measurable. You are confusing things that are objective and subjective.
Besides, say if one critic says a band is bad, and another says the same band is good. According to your theory, “A true critic can isolate his personal opinion of a subject in order to give his accurate critical observation without any bias.” But if they both don’t have bias, then the music is both bad and good? This is why there is no such thing as “no bias” towards subjective things.
One of the critics in your scenario is wrong, one is right. Case/point.
That I have 5 fingers on my hand is a fact. That music is good or bad is also a fact. One’s opinion will DICTATE if they THINK music is good or bad, however the music’s true value will not change.
If you think music cannot be “measured” then you are a fool who should have paid more attention in Science class.
” I was suddenly woken from my dream with a sunburn and a steaming pile of Straight Line Stitch in my lap. I sighed deeply because I knew this wasn’t going to go down easy, but I had to see it through”
correct me if i am wrong but this was your opinion before listening to them.-bias.
“Doing a track-by-track analysis is a difficult job here as I’ve pretty much summed up their formula for you already”:- did you even listen to every track, because they don’t use that “formula” of “screamed-verse-to-clean-vocal-chorus song structure”.
simply put you are bias. its not my opinion its the truth. calling something “bad music” is a biased call.
you spend too much of your review trying to damage the bands character, you really didnt give it a fair review.
“In fact this album had a couple parts where I found my ear perking up and I thought to myself “wait a minute that’s almost cool, play more of that,” but it usually descended quickly back into shitty. “World Made Flesh” manages to avoid this by saving the best for last with slow and heavy power-chords blanketed by atmospheric lead guitar work.”- i assume you have listened to this album only once, curious i wonder if you listened a few more times if your opinion would change.
don’t bother, you dont like it. but i would dare you to check out their album TO BE GODLIKE
SLS should sue you for defamation of character.lol I know you wrote your review to get responses so i get why you would say the things you do. yeah you sound a lil cliche’ yourself. giving a bad review on the character of a metal band with a black female frontwoman, seems like an easy target. atleast you admit they can play. By the way just to know, if i do like them and they are so bad, who would you recommend me to listen to, with just the knowledge that i like them. which band do you think conveys a better sound, technical playing, hooks, grooves, etc. in view of an alternative to SLS. Not your top metal bands but in comparison to SLS. cure us of this disease of bad music you claim we have fallen victim too.
i meant to say that “formula on every track. and not just the acoustic track either
Jesus Christ. I google SLS album art and stumble upon this site……DAMN. What in the fuck is wrong with you people? GET LIVES. Leave these people to do what they want to do, and stop shit talking them because your life has hit a dead end and you wish you could be where they are. FUCK you bastards sicken me, you all should’ve went to college and got real fuckin jobs dude, instead of sitting on your computer bashing a group of 5, 20 something kids and their band.
Oh, the irony.