CHINESE DEMOCRACY: THE METALSUCKS REVIEW
Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 at 11:30am by Axl Rosenberg
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, have you guys read the liner notes for this fucking thing? “Produced by Axl Rose and Caram Costanzo. Mixed by Andy Wallace, Caram Costanzo and Axl Rose. Final Mixing: Caram Costanzo and Axl Rose.” “Additional production and preproduction by Roy Thomas Baker.” “Additional Production: Sean Beaven.” “Additional and/or initial Engineering.” Those are just the whole album credits. Each song gets its own “initial production” credit, too, and, in one instance, an “initial arrangement by” shout out. The phrase “reamped, edited and engineered” appears at least twice. Fourteen recording studios are listed, spread out over four cities on two continents. There’s no fewer than five guitarists (six if you count Rose himself), two keyboard players (three if you count Rose), two drummers, and two composer/orchestrators cited (The fact that only one bass player, Tommy Stinson consistently plays on the album seems like something of a marvel… oh, wait, that Chris Pitman dude everyone calls “Mother Goose” for some reason plays bass on “If the World.” Nevvvvvvermind.). Donatella Versace, Kid Rock, Lars Ulrich, and Mickey Rourke are all thanked, alongside guys with names like “Mookie” and “Worm.” THERE’S A CREDIT FOR “LOGIC.” I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS. IS THERE A COMPUTER PROGRAM CALLED “LOGIC” OR ARE PEOPLE ACTUALLY BEING CREDITED WITH SUPPLYING SOME LOGIC????????
I’m not making this shit up. I couldn’t make this shit up. Oh, to be a fly on the wall during the recording of Chinese Democracy! It must have made the production of Apocalypse Now seem like a long weekend on Fire Island.
But here’s the thing: as incredibly, insanely, undeniably fascinating as all that shit is, it really has nothing to with any critical analysis of the album.
Truth is, none of us know if what we’re listening to at any given moment is take one or take one-hundred, or if it was recorded ten years ago or ten weeks ago. So what we know (or think we know) about Axl Rose and the creation of this record should really have nothing to do with one’s own personal enjoyment (or lack thereof) of Chinese Democracy.
Besides, Axl answers all of your questions in his lyrics. “Sometimes I feel like the world is on top of me/Breaking me down with an endless monotony,” Rose shrieks on “Scraped” – but just a verse later, the dude is back on top of the world again: “Sometimes I feel like there’s nothing that’s stopping me/ All things are possible/ I am unstoppable.” So now we know what took so long: the poor guy is manic depressive. Why did the old band break up? “Ask yourself why I would choose/To prostitute myself?/To live with fortune and shame?” Rose asks rhetorically on “Prostitute.” So, there you have it. Artistic differences.
SO.
OF COURSE Chinese Democracy is overproduced. Guns N’ Roses has always been, to varying extremes, overproduced, a band that melded different styles through layers and layers of sound. It would take at least three guitar players and two full-grown Axl clones to do any kind of faithful live recreation of Appetite for Destruction, and who knows how many more for Use Your Illusion. A chorus of Axls and army of guitars is nothing new for GN’R. The fact that this album suffers from the same “let’s try everything all at once” mentality as UYI should shock absolutely no one – and it’s safe bet that if you hated the Illusion records, you’ll hate this. But some insanely talented musicians play on this record (Buckethead, Tommy Stinson, Bryan “Brain” Mantia, Robin Finck, and Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal, to name but a few of the members of this most under-appreciated of super groups) and each and every one is playing something different. If ever Axl was gonna ditch the GN’R moniker, he should rename this project “Axl Rose’s Rock N’ Roll Orchestra.” And really, in sensibility if not style, that’s not so different from the GN’R of yore – there’s a lot going on.
Calling the album “busy” is a valid criticism, but it’s also what makes Chinese Democracy worthwhile. Listen to this album with a really good set of earphones and try to pick apart exactly what each and every musician is doing – it’s a stupid amount of fun, precisely because there’s just so much fucking sound, so many different seemingly incompatible styles, all being made by so many cool people. It elevates Chinese Democracy above its own simple pop framework, and rewards multiple listens.
(A special note has to be made about the guitar players on this album: if the thought of Buckethead, Bumblefoot, and Robin Finck all masturbating soloing their asses off, often at the same time, makes you hard a little, you’re gonna love this album. Finck’s playing is soulful and bluesy Slash-type stuff which is especially useful for ballads like “This I Love” and “Catcher in the Rye,” but Buckethead and Bumblefoot seem to have wandered off the soundtrack for a sci-fi movie best viewed on acid. It doesn’t always work, but, by God, when it does… it’s full of stars!)
Sometimes it’s too pretentious for its own good. When, on the otherwise solid epic “Madagascar,” Rose sings “I won’t be told anymore/That I’ve been brought down in this storm/And led so far out from the shore/That I can’t find my way back anymore,” it would seem reasonable for any thinking human being to assume he is, once again, addressing the creation of a new album without his old band. What the fuck does Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, or quotes from the films Mississippi Burning and Casualties of War and friggin’ Braveheart have to do with any of that other shit? To equate the struggle to record Chinese Democracy with the civil rights movement or the atrocities of the Vietnam war or Mel Gibson strikes me as being in bad taste at best. It’s like Axl created the audio for a movie trailer, but there’s no movie to go with it.
And, as many have pointed out, there’s absolutely no reason for Axl to sound like the Count from Sesame Street for the lyric “But I don’t want to do it” on otherwise excellent, Sabbath by way of Floyd track “Sorry.” (Also totally fucked: the lyrics in the liner notes. Verses are often missing or mixed up, and in a few places, I’m pretty sure they’re just wrong. I know I said the incredible amount of time taken to make this album is irrelevant to a critical analysis, but after making us wait a decade and a half, no one could have proofread this fucking thing?)
But as my colleague Sammy O’Hagar recently pointed out, Chinese Democracy is light years ahead of 99% of what passes for pop metal these days. Regardless of what you think of Axl Rose as a person or the fact that Slash, Izzy, and Duff are no longer in the band, this is a substantial work made by substantial artists. I don’t know if Chinese Democracy is one of the best albums of the year, but it’s certainly one of my favorites.
(four out of five horns)
-AR
I’m gonna go ahead and step out on a limb, assuming that they are talking about “Logic” the digital audio workstation.
I didn’t know what kind of conclusion to expect from Axl Rosenberg’s review. Damn! Now I want to give the record a listen. It’ll be awesome if you guys gave away Chinese Democracy instead of Cradle of Filth.
Spot on review! I am still absorbing the record still, since my purchase last Sunday. I have to say that upon every listen I find something new that blows my mind. In my opinion, it may not be record of the year but it definitely trumps Crap Magnetic.
Logic is one of the big three mac recording suites along with Digital Performer and Pro Tools.
I have the strangest feeling that a guy calling himself Axl Rosenberg might be just a little bit biased to the works of a guy named Axl Rose. Just a hunch.
I don’t hate Axl’s voice or anything, but I think I would listen to this album a good deal more if I had an instrumental copy.
Still haven’t heard much from this yet. I’m going to pick it up this weekend. Think for my first listening i may have to hop into the back seat of Mom’s car and go to the mall with her, for old time’s sake.
I’ve only heard “Chinese Democracy” and “Better” on the radio, but I do have to say that when “Better” came on the radio last night, I was just pulling up to my house, and I sat in my truck through the entire thing it was that damn good.
I’ve had a totally negative, biased view of what this album was going to turn out being like, but I’m glad I’m wrong so far. I’ll definitely be picking this one up after hearing what I’ve heard and reading what I’ve read.
I agree.
Its ok, I’m just not into it.
when’s the best of 08 list gonna be up? hope protest the hero is number one or at least top 5.
Protest the Hero should be number one, and there is a computer program Logic
I agree with Bhoker and Kyle about the PTH thing, but that’s beside the point. Good review on a damn good album.
Since the life cycle of a fly is about 7 to 10 days, to be a fly on the wall for this recording would have taken between 500 and 700 generations of flies to do so.
And Axl, as much as you jizz over this one-good-album, over-rated “band” (er, solo artist), I really didn’t expect less than a four-horn review from you. Reading between the lines, you’re saying the album is maybe a bit over-produced? Shocker! (Hey, did you hear that John McCain was a war hero?)
So, basically the album is “ARTSY”?
LOL @ lern2swim
I listened to this thinking it would suck, and I tried to pick it apart with negativity…. but you know.. this album isn’t too bad. Not amazing, but it is good music.
(although I think the first 2 songs are some of the weakest)
“…a substantial work made by substantial artists…”
I totally agree. Well written review by Mr. Rosenberg as usual (not that we expected anything less).
The one thing I miss on this album is that “healthy fuck-off rock n’ roll attitude”, that the old GN’R had always plenty of. In half of the songs Rose sings about some lost love of his, each time in a sightly different way. These are good songs but just feel kind of sad. I’d much prefer the more angry/aggressive/lunatic approach that we know he’s capable of.
y’know, this album is actually Very enjoyable. I’ve never really “dug” GnR, or even really respected them (exceptions are “i used to love her” and “Night train” {c’mon’! a song about shit liquor/wine? how can you go wrong?}). I am used to much faster, heavier shit, but to be frank
FUCKING GNR DID THIS ONE RIGHT!
’nuff said metalsuxorz.
I would say that I’m actually pretty glad that the album is good. I saw GNR in Halifax a couple of years ago, and Axl seemed much happier on stage than the last time I saw them (years before that…opening for Maiden). I was sorta rootin’ for him on this one.
Plus, Better is one of the best pop metal songs of the year.
I haven’t heard the entire album yet, only about 5 or 6 songs, but what I did hear wasn’t as completely horrendous as I was expecting. Like a lot of other people I truly believed that Guns N Roses died the day Slash left the band. I was convinced that Axl Rose had reduced one of the greatest rock n roll bands of all time to absolute trash. But out of curiosity I checked out a couple of the tracks on Chinese Democracy and I gotta say that Axl may just have pulled this one off. This isn’t GNR… but hearing Axl sing again makes me feel nostalgic. And I suppose for now that will just have to do.
I might even end up picking this one up, not because I plan on listening to it until it wears itself out, but because I’ve been following the progress of it for years. And now that its finally here- I wouldn’t mind having my hands on a little piece of history.
it still doesn’t quite feel real, even though it’s actually out.
i’ve usually been more of a Slash fan than an Axl fan, but the album’s fucking good. of course it’s over-produced, but that’s what you’d expect from AR. it’s way more of an UYI 3 than anything close to Appetite. i wish he had abandoned the GnR name, but there’s no denying it’s a solid album and i think the critiques would be more favorable if it weren’t recorded by someone so infamous.
i especially love Robin Finck’s guitar work (bluesy is good). i completely agree that layers become more and more apparent after several listens. it doesn’t really feel like a new album to me, probably since there’s been so many partial leaks and previews for the last decade. i do think it’s a hell of a lot better than any of the other recent ‘comeback’ albums.
4/5.
off-topic: the PTH album was good, but The Ruiner is still my favorite of ‘08. the Spylacopa EP is worthing checking out, too.
This album sucks except for a few riffs by Buckethead.
I dont know what I think of this album. It’s an inpenetrable wall of noise. It’s a fucking headache headfuck and even embarrassing in parts – but still infinitely interesting. It’s awful, but in a really good way. It’s the strangest record I have ever heard. If it was my review I would have given it 1/5 and 5/5 at the same time. It’s just plain fucking odd.
A spot on review if you ask me! I’m still giggling about the “Count from sesame street” remark lol
Is it a GnR album or an Axl solo effort? Should it be titled as Guns N Roses? Are Axl’s ginger dreads cool? I don’t know but to be honest i don’t really care as long as the music rocks…which i believe it does. And for the record, i never really got in to the whole GnR thing the 1st time round apart from the classic tracks but i’m looking forward to to the next one!
nobody complains that it took AC/DC 8 years to release their latest record. how long did it take for George Lucas to release a new film, like 20 years? c’mon.
@cornblood: the difference is that AC/DC anounced that they had starte working on Black Ice around late ‘06, while Chinese Democracy should have been released around ‘98.
There’s no denial that the songs are really good (after 17 years in the making and an army of very talented musicians, you just can’t go wrong), but this no GnR, it’s just an Axl rose solo effort. It doesn’t have that rebellious spirit that the olg GnR albums had; this is way, WAY overproduced and it’s going to sound terrible live.
Does anybody call Dying Fetus the John Gallagher project? Should the members of Zao even still call themselves Zao? I mean there are no original members in Zao at all, or what about Sucidal Tendencies? It’s just Mike Muir, the sole original member of that band. Nobody is calling Suicidal Tendencies the Mike Muir band. I am sure there are a few other bands out there in the same situation and nobody is calling them out. Give me a break about G n’ R about being a bigger band. It’s Guns N’ Roses all the way.
…. and Mayhem…
Here’s my Chinese Democracy review: Very blah. Although, it is slightly better than the The Spaghetti Incident. One blue star and no smiley face.
Throwdown’s last record was a freakin’ masterpiece! No original members in that band at all either!
the new album sucked…
This album is a pile of steaming shit. Hail death magnetic!
I’m not saying “Chinese Democracy” is good but if you want to call the horribly produced 70 minute masturbatory band jam session with no direction and pointless guitar noodling that was “Death Magnetic” good, you need to clean our that grease from your fucking ears.
I loved Metallica back in the day but they are DEAD.
Note to James/Lars:
Fire Trujillo.
Hire a song-writer.
Get another guitarist.
Quit acting like your in your 20s.
Get Hetfield back on the fuckin’ bottle.
NIXON BEATS KENNEDY, NIXON BEATS KENNEDY!!
WTF@ the douche above me
Death Magnetic WAS AN A-W-E-S-O-M-E album. just becuase they are in their mid 40’s dosn’t mean they can’t rock. BTW id rather listen to a fucking hour of nails on a chalkboard than CHinese Democracy. That album is the worst piece of garbage ive ever heard. How about you fucking start living in the present and forget about the fucking past.
@Cisco:
Fuck, that throwdown album was sick. But for a band that has always had a revolving line-up, what would be an “original line-up”? Singer buddy has been there for the last three, has he not?
Death Magnetic was not awesome even if you do spell the word awesome out. Its terrible. And Chinese Democracy wasn’t much better. A little bit, but not much.
Which really sucks cause I was looking forward to both of them.
Oh well. The Faceless will keep me entertained until something more “pop” metal comes around that is actually good. (ATR’s Overcome is good, but is it pop metal?)
I know everyone is up on this album, but does anyone else think the whole record just sounded forced? Secondly, does anyone think that any of the tracks on ‘Chinese Democracy’ have the potential to become classics like GnR’s earlier work?
Don’t think so. Color me unimpressed.
The whole of Death Magnetic sounded forced and contrived. Chinese Democracy is already timeless, I have not been able to stop listening to it since it’s release date, which is quite weird since I only prefer to listen to death grunts, shrieks, growls… etc. than to actually singing vocals.
metal does not suck mann its way better than some screamo crap what the hell mann. it didnt start as emo screamo crap it all started with metal mannn!!!
Ok
theres nothing worse then 20 tracks of “mariah carey” styled voices goin on in some bullshit, scattered rockopera. Too much ego and not enough metal…complete shit.
@tyler09
by you asking everyone else to start living in the NOW as you are, would death magnetic by “metallica” be also counted as a NOW item?
fucking quiff.
great review man…the count from dracula…nice, klosterman reffered to it as the mexican vampire part…my gf and i both crack up everytime we hear this part…i’m pretty sure there’s more chinese democracy coming…here’s my review: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=48617628&blogID=452569729
Chinese Democracy is not Appetite pt 2. Get past that thought and its much easier to listen to. I like it way more than I was expecting to.
Horrid album; a huge money grab on ex-GnR fans so Axl could get some cash,
This overly hyped trash is likely to end up in the hands of kids with too much allowance money and not enough bubble gum to buy.
Chinese Democracy is a well average album, not a Guns n Roses album and by far not the best of the year.
For sure Death Magnetic is way better. People who said no simply likes to a no-brainer douchebag. So fuck off you don’t really no what metal really is.
Metallica always were great (maybe not so At Load Reload) but at least always better than Guns n Roses always were.
“a huge money grab” might be the dumbest statement I have ever heard with regards to Chinese Democracy…let’s see, how can I make a quick buck? I know! I will take 15 years out of my life and $13 million dollars to make an amazing record! Think before you type…And if anyone gives this album a listen with headphones or even more than two listens in your car CD player, you will never be able to take it out…at least I haven’t been able to…
…so this is the Chinese Democracy VS Death Magnetic review?
one day you will look in the mirror, instead of beating your head into it
BALLS
AXl rose needs to get his head deflated
Only 1 good song on it which was Better. Axl Rosenberg is baised as in his review
and Metallica’s Death Magnetic was a fucking great albulm
Not a great album. Bought Chinese Democracy. Put it on. Total disappointment. Bought Death Magnetic. Put it on. Another total fucking disappointment. Not at all the bands they used to be, should be pretty obvious with GnR, but its been obvious since the early 90s that Metallica has sucked.