«
»
Cinemetal

THE ONLY THING THE OSBOURNES NEED TO RELOAD IS THE GUN THEY USE TO KILL THEMSELVES

 Tuesday, February 10th, 2009 at 1:30pm by

How bad does Osbournes Reloaded, the new Ozzy n’ family variety show, look? So bad that I’m considering burning my copies of Blizzard of Ozz and No More Tears. So bad that it makes Zakk Wylde look like a bastion of artistic integrity. So bad that I’d rather listen to St. Anger on repeat for 24 hours than watch this shit. So bad that the creators of Rock of Love should win Peabody Awards. So bad that Gene Simmons is already trying to figure out a way to rip it off.  So bad that your grandmother just died in the shower and it’s gonna be a few days before anyone finds the body.

-AR

[via Metal Injection]

Tags: , ,
  • Matt

    Um…..wow…..just…….wow. About the only this could be good is if Iron Maiden was one of the “musical performances”. Or if Ozzy actually sang the good Black Sabbath

    In other news, the “debut” album from Heaven and Hell comes out on April 28th and is titled “The Devil You Know”.

  • http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2078474521/ mr_Izan

    holy shit are you fucking serio? please tell me that this is one of those complex faux-trailers ala thundercats movie.

  • CarlosRamirez

    No, this is real. My wife’s company is producing it…yikes! Now if I could only convince her to get a Metal Inquisition show going!

  • dthrasher

    Do people ever get to the point where they decide that they have enough money?

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Grandma….noooooooo!!!

  • Karlotto Winroth

    What´s up with the ads on your rss feed. When I subscribe to a site and read it through my reader don´t want ads. Thats not the reason I subscribe. I would never let my readers have to go through with that. What´s your end to this? This is cheap!! Monetize some other how! Please!!!

  • Seth

    Wow Axl, great compilation of metal-relevant disaster scenarios. I’ll contribute, MS readers, can you do the same?

    “So bad I would rather contract AIDS from a guitarist named ‘Virus’ while injecting Dope with Scott Weiland’s prick”

  • http://myspace.com/1033metal jackson

    “So bad I would rather see Brokencyde on the cover of Decibel”

    ok maybe that was to far……

  • http://laburroteca.com K-milo

    Sucks. This sucks beyond time and space…

  • mercenary aggression

    How did one reader cite so fittingly from Spinal Tap in that “remember our forefathers” post? “Shit Sandwich”!!

  • Matt

    So bad I’d rather go on date with the newly single David Dramain

  • Mahkiavelli

    I was going to try and come up with one of those clever “So bad…” metaphors, but I’m at a loss. That’s really, really horrible. Young metalheads should be forced to watch this as a part of one of those “scared straight” programs…

  • Powerslave

    Maybe, just maybe brainwashed Ozzy fans will finally realize that this Ozzy died many years ago. Sometime after Ozzmosis, but before Sharon reanimated his dead corpse to be in his First MTV Reality show.

    Fuck Ozzy.

  • canea

    The best they’ve got is the switch-the-grandma-make-out gag? How metal is that?

  • Sammy

    @dthrasher: I think it’s pretty easy for those without money to criticize those with it and ask “How much is too much?”

  • vmanv

    Middle Americas love affair with the Osbourne family ended 5 years ago, this show will fail miserably.

  • McHammered

    I think its pretty damn hokey.. But I must admit that I watch rock of love and I will watch this..

  • http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/82/image1llrk5.jpg Revrant

    Eh, if Ozzy was dead he wouldn’t of released a dark, grinding metal album amidst press apathy, though he’s become Sharon’s tool, when he’s out of her Sauron-like grasp he’s still fun. I expect everything involving Ozzy being Ozzy will be hilarious, and the rest of the show will be horrifyingly bad, so 90/10 ratio of bad to good.

  • http://www.myspace.com/bminekime enemyofgod72

    I forgave Ozzy for the reality show but Ozzy doing a “variety” show of the caliber in this clip is shameful. The only hope that metal would ever be dropped on the masses is lost. If Ozzy won’t do it I don’t see anyone else with the stature to force some metal acceptance. Thanx Ozzy for taking a giant dump on every fan you’ve ever had. BTW Fuck you!

  • iolanach

    Holy fucking shit. This is the kind of crap that makes me cheer for the terrorists.
    Nuke Hollywood.

  • Bicro

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • http://fantasyh.wordpress.com fantasyh

    It’s not unimaginable that Sharon and the kids would do it. But Ozzy? I think he’s just old and prone to manipulation. Though, he seems a bit more coherent than he did on the not-Reloaded Osbournes.
    And actually – Axl. If you’d listen to St. Anger for a while, maybe you would finally realise that there is a shitload of worse albums in the world, and St. Anger is at least average

  • PJ

    Fuck Sharon. Why doesn’t she stop whoring out her family? Not to mention she also came up with Ozzfest, the worst metal festival ever.

  • nate

    ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah

  • CaptDin

    Someone PLEASE kill Ozzy. Please. Just put him out of his misery. I can’t bear to watch this.

  • charles

    Not surprised at all considering its the Osbournes. I would be more surprised if they didn’t do a show like this at some point.

  • Aaron

    I love Ozzy and I allways wanted to smoke a bowl with him, but he’s a fucking burn out and that “Reloaded” shit made me change my mind and now I’d rather smoke a bowl with fucking Billy Ray Sirus!