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WIN TICKETS TO SEE MASTODON PLAY CRACK THE SKYE IN ITS ENTIRETY IN NYC!!

Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 2:30pm by

mastodon - crack the skyeMost of you who (rightly so) loved Mastodon’s latest masterpiece Crack the Skye probably already know that the band is currently doing a very special tour of small venues with Kylesa and Intronaut, and that they’re playing Crack the Skye in its entirety on said tour (full list of tour dates available at Shockhound. Most of you are also bitching that you haven’t been able to get tickets to this very special event because of the limited amount of tickets available. Bitch no more: MetalSucks is giving away TWO pairs of tickets to see Mastodon perform in New York on either May 9th (Irving Plaza) or May 10th (Williamsburg Music Hall, Brooklyn), your choice which.

TO WIN, LEAVE A COMMENT WITH A SWINE-FLU INSPIRED PUN ON ANYTHING RELATED TO MASTODON. MAKE SURE YOU TYPE IN A VALID EMAIL ADDRESS, AS WINNERS WILL BE CONTACTED BY EMAIL BY MAY 6TH AND WILL BE GUESTLISTED ON THE SHOW OF THEIR CHOICE.

Examples:
“Brent Swineds”
“Colony of Pigmen”
“The Last Bacon”

Good luck!

Tags: , ,
  • Chuckles

    Blood and Porkchops

  • http://www.lapdanceacademy.com/dogsofwinter.html Dogs of Winter

    I gotta go back to the first album for Porkhorse!

  • crank

    I am Aham

  • czak

    Crack the Swine

  • I Am Asteroid

    I’m gonna have to go with “Baconcatcher”

  • RomuluXX

    We Built This Come Aporkalypse

  • Wrecking Balls

    Porkalodon!

  • All Out War

    Oink-blivion

  • Treb118

    Hearts Aflue

  • harris

    Capillarian Breast
    Circle of Sasquatch
    Colony of Birdmen

  • Cookie

    mother porker

  • Chris

    Colony Of swineflu carrying ilegal mexicans

    • Cookie

      ingorant coward

      • Cookie

        or ignorant, either way, thats a really stupid thing to say when most of the people infected in the states were rich kids on spring break

        • Chris

          Dude ts a joke, first off and second dont call me ignorant, swine flu is coming from mexico, so bad that cuba has closed their borders to mexico, so yeah some has come from the spring break kids, but the majority is from peopele from mexico, and most of them are illegal mexicans

          • cookie

            Glad to hear Cuba closed their Mexican border.

        • Chris

          and ur a moron, i didnt say that cuba was closing their borderswith mexico i said to, implying mexicans, so maybe before you judge what someone says u shud no what your talking bout

  • Owen

    The Pork Is Loose.

  • Zach

    Porkulous Skin

  • poopsmcgee

    Hamm Dailor
    Brent Rinds

  • Kevin

    Some said that there would only be a black president when pigs fly. In the first 100 days of Obama’s presidency swine flu.

    • Chris

      Dude mad funny, but its gotta have to do with mastodon i think =)

    • Sacajawea

      I think we’ve all read that joke now about 100 times by people commenting on this site, so you’re a little late. It is funny though.

  • sandedfaceless

    Mastodon – Lefrytheham

    —Pork and Slumber—

    I think that someone is trying to eat me
    Inspecting my snout and devour my loins
    No man of the flesh could ever resist me
    A fight over bacon, a kick to the groin!

    Fried. Spam. God. Damn!

    End the night with pork and slumber
    Empty bags of salty rinds
    Save room for a knuckle sandwich
    Courtesy of Brent Hinds!

    • http://myspace.com/vendettaspoken Vendetta Bloodpuke

      ^ best

    • Mat

      the only wanted the title douchebag lol but yeh good whack!!

    • Jimmy

      If you don’t win, I’m going to release a vial of swine flu at the MetalSucks mansion.

    • Noel

      you won. you won.

  • crush1214

    “We Built This Come Death by Swine Flu”

    “Porky Merrick”

    “Porcus Dimentia”

  • http://infinitybasement.wordpress.com billybob

    Mastodon Pig’s Blood Mountain

    Colony of Infected Pig Men

    This pork sick is spreading faster than I can tell
    Pig flu structure eats away at a nervous cell
    Seems however I’m a victim of common cold
    Hunt for scrips and sprays
    Ham slicer
    Run from death?
    Run from death?

    White faces coming closer to calling arms
    Earth envelopes taking steps without thinking straight
    Carve my roast out ripping through the back bacon strips
    Ham gatherer
    Ridden from the farm
    Run from death!
    Run from death!

  • Mike

    Brent Pork rinds
    Brann curly Tailor
    The pig is loose
    Deep Mud Creature
    Delicious Skin
    The Last Bacon

  • rutty rut rut

    “Circle of Swinesquatch”

  • Austin Milbarge

    Burning Ham
    Elephant Ham
    Pendoulus Pig Skin
    Brent Hinds-Quarters
    I am ASlab of bacon
    Oink Nessie

  • http://www.vinylcollective.com Cory Pelc

    Cut You Up With a Swineoleum Knife

  • Austin Milbarge

    Hunters of the Sty
    This Mortal Loin
    Ham Hamingtons Porkstyle Chitlin Snouts

  • Max M

    Circle of swinesquatch
    Hunters of the swine
    Pendulous swine
    Porkchops that move
    Hog of stone
    This mortal sow
    Hail to flu
    Deep sea porker
    Piginations

  • exor666t

    Hamstadon?

  • Dress to Depress

    Hams Alive
    Bacon Dementia

  • JW Gacy

    This little piggy went to market,
    This little piggy stayed at home,
    This little piggy had roast beef,
    This little piggy had none.
    And this little piggy yelled…
    “Crack the Skye!!!!!” all the way to the Mastodon Show

  • http://myspace.com/biosyn teaches of peaches

    Blood Sausage

  • EsotericMetal

    This Mortal Sow
    Leviatham
    Naked Boarn

  • Big Tricky

    Circle of Swinesquatch, Hunters of the Swine, Aqua Influenza

  • grogga187

    Birchmen and swine matestildawn

  • Harbour

    Where Oinks the Behemoth

  • Leo

    Crack The Swine

  • http://dxferris@yahoo.com ferris

    March of the Fire Swine

    Leviaswine

    Crack the Swine

    Blood and Thunder and Vaccine

    John Merswine

  • Max M

    (swine) flucatcher
    Call of the massive hog

  • Max M

    (swine) flucatcher
    Call of the massive hog
    Swinesblood
    Swine Man
    Trampled under swines’ hoof
    opigion
    sleeping swine
    burning bacon

  • Leo

    The last bacon

  • Leo

    Crystal pig

  • Max M

    Brann Tailor ham
    march of the swine ants

  • Leo

    Call Of The Swine Flu

  • Max M

    swinebeast

  • Max M

    swineberian divide

  • Max M

    troy hamders

  • http://schenkeltown.blogspot.com Daisy May Tinklepants

    The Swine is Loose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • pokesmot

    Brent will beat the swine flu outta you

  • Joe the Destroyer

    Mother Porker

  • Joe the Destroyer

    Boar and Thunder

  • http://www.myspace.com/thenothing4 MattyB

    March of the Piggypants

    Pendulous Pork

    Porky Tusk

  • Dorian

    Swine flu? More like Give Me Free Tickets To Mastodon Flu! YUKYUKYUK

    Please.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/Demigod1 Tyler

    Babe Mountain
    Iron Snout
    Welcoming Boar
    Leswineathan

  • Walker

    Thrown from here/Cause I’ve gone coughed too long
    Leaving it behind/With my swine flu song.
    Now your gone/Thank you Mexico (Mexico to be sung so it fits into flow somehow. just like how he stretches his words out to fit the song)

    Cuervoivion.

  • jay

    ironswine, porkodon, Colony Of swinemen, the Flu is loose, swinebeast swine & fllu

  • WookieBastage

    The Hog is Loose

  • Kyle

    Ham of Stone
    Crack the Sty

  • Bryan

    this epidemic is growing faster than I can tell/ swine flu, eats away at a massive swell/ seems however, I’m a victim of immigrants/ hunt for, beans and pork/ ham slicer!/ run with piiiyyyiiiyyyigs

    I suppose this one features Josh Ham of Queens of the BBQ ribs

  • Jake

    Spirallarian Ham

  • LaingerCT

    THANK MEXICANS FOR THIS SWINE

  • jon from nj

    Ol’e Porker
    Aqua Sus Scrofa
    Colony of Cob Rollers

  • Jeffb

    The new mastodon cures swine flu. True story.

  • Chris

    If you give me tickets i promise to give the boys a sandwich with a side of swine flu when i get to the show courtessy of Metal sucks =)… but seriously i really want those fucking tickets lol

  • IronTuskGr

    Shadows That Squeal
    Workswine Chronicles
    Circle of the Porksquatch
    Where Poops the Hoghemoth
    Pigwreck
    Megalohog
    Wilbur Merrick
    Welcoming Pandemic
    Aqua Sus Domestica
    Iron Snout
    Oinky Crest
    Flucatcher
    The Ghost of Miss Piggy
    The Cboar: I. Crap – II. Uproar – III. Panic – IV. The End

  • Russell Salerno

    The Swine: Economic Crisis / Ignorance / Hysteria / Surgical Mask
    The Swine Is Loose
    Swinecatcher

  • Tom alessandra

    march of the bacon bits

  • Andrew

    Pig Hearts Alive! Cut The Ham Up With A Linoleum Knife. Thank You For This Bacon

  • neverdie

    The new Mastodon album will be a concept album based on E.B. Whites “Charlottes Web”. It will have great hits such as “When Pigs Fly”, “Boar Tusk”, and “The Butcher” which chronicles the death sequence. “The Butcher” will also have guest pig squealing vocals from Pig Destroyer’s JR. Hayes.
    Preorder now and get a limited edition Mastodon pork sausage pack(beef available if you only eat kosher).

    if you guys like this dont bother entering me in the contest i am stationed in iraq and wouldnt be able to go to a concert anyway just email me at micah.fuson@us.army.mil if its funny.

  • donna

    Breaking News: Mastodon extinction from undying swine flu virus !!!!!!

  • ben

    Give it to “Brent Rinds” thats awesome.

  • anathema

    Where Swines The Behemoth
    Porcus Dementia

    • crush1214

      Hey porcus Dimentia was already done by me May 1.

  • fightingmike

    Swine Mountain
    Circle of Swinesquatch
    Swine Puncher
    March of the Fire Pigs

  • LaingerCT

    The Czar of (Hmmm) Bacon

  • LaingerCT

    Hand of Porky Pig

  • Mike

    Mother Porker
    Ole’ Piggy
    Burning Bacon.

  • fiveinthegakht

    “Triloswine” or “Squealing Giant” … did i win?

  • Muhammed

    Squeal of the Mastodon

  • yanky

    crack the sty
    aqua influenza
    leviaswine
    the last bacon
    piginations

  • David W

    Trampled Under Traif

  • Jay

    Just guestlist me you fucking swine flu infected pig fuckers.

  • Bored?

    Porkinations
    Ghost of Swin
    The Swine Flu is Loose
    Crystal Pork
    Colony Of Porkmen
    Swineflucatcher
    Hand of Pork
    Pendulous Swine
    Hunters of the Pork
    Pork and Thunder
    Baconbeast
    Swine flu destroyer
    Where Strides the Swine

    damn it im bored.

  • http://www.myspace.com/whiskeyrambleproject x101whiskey_ramble101x

    I said a friggin’ hwot dwog wit’ relish’n’ mastadon it, fuckin’ wise guy!

  • http://www.myspace.com/whiskeyrambleproject x101whiskey_ramble101x

    I’m always late with my brain farts