WIN TICKETS TO SEE MASTODON PLAY CRACK THE SKYE IN ITS ENTIRETY IN NYC!!
Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 2:30pm by MetalSucks
Most of you who (rightly so) loved Mastodon’s latest masterpiece Crack the Skye probably already know that the band is currently doing a very special tour of small venues with Kylesa and Intronaut, and that they’re playing Crack the Skye in its entirety on said tour (full list of tour dates available at Shockhound. Most of you are also bitching that you haven’t been able to get tickets to this very special event because of the limited amount of tickets available. Bitch no more: MetalSucks is giving away TWO pairs of tickets to see Mastodon perform in New York on either May 9th (Irving Plaza) or May 10th (Williamsburg Music Hall, Brooklyn), your choice which.
TO WIN, LEAVE A COMMENT WITH A SWINE-FLU INSPIRED PUN ON ANYTHING RELATED TO MASTODON. MAKE SURE YOU TYPE IN A VALID EMAIL ADDRESS, AS WINNERS WILL BE CONTACTED BY EMAIL BY MAY 6TH AND WILL BE GUESTLISTED ON THE SHOW OF THEIR CHOICE.
Examples:
“Brent Swineds”
“Colony of Pigmen”
“The Last Bacon”
Good luck!
Blood and Porkchops
I gotta go back to the first album for Porkhorse!
I am Aham
Crack the Swine
I’m gonna have to go with “Baconcatcher”
We Built This Come Aporkalypse
Porkalodon!
Oink-blivion
Hearts Aflue
Capillarian Breast
Circle of Sasquatch
Colony of Birdmen
mother porker
Colony Of swineflu carrying ilegal mexicans
ingorant coward
or ignorant, either way, thats a really stupid thing to say when most of the people infected in the states were rich kids on spring break
Dude ts a joke, first off and second dont call me ignorant, swine flu is coming from mexico, so bad that cuba has closed their borders to mexico, so yeah some has come from the spring break kids, but the majority is from peopele from mexico, and most of them are illegal mexicans
Glad to hear Cuba closed their Mexican border.
and ur a moron, i didnt say that cuba was closing their borderswith mexico i said to, implying mexicans, so maybe before you judge what someone says u shud no what your talking bout
The Pork Is Loose.
Porkulous Skin
Hamm Dailor
Brent Rinds
Some said that there would only be a black president when pigs fly. In the first 100 days of Obama’s presidency swine flu.
Dude mad funny, but its gotta have to do with mastodon i think =)
I think we’ve all read that joke now about 100 times by people commenting on this site, so you’re a little late. It is funny though.
Mastodon – Lefrytheham
—Pork and Slumber—
I think that someone is trying to eat me
Inspecting my snout and devour my loins
No man of the flesh could ever resist me
A fight over bacon, a kick to the groin!
Fried. Spam. God. Damn!
End the night with pork and slumber
Empty bags of salty rinds
Save room for a knuckle sandwich
Courtesy of Brent Hinds!
^ best
the only wanted the title douchebag lol but yeh good whack!!
If you don’t win, I’m going to release a vial of swine flu at the MetalSucks mansion.
you won. you won.
“We Built This Come Death by Swine Flu”
“Porky Merrick”
“Porcus Dimentia”
Mastodon Pig’s Blood Mountain
Colony of Infected Pig Men
This pork sick is spreading faster than I can tell
Pig flu structure eats away at a nervous cell
Seems however I’m a victim of common cold
Hunt for scrips and sprays
Ham slicer
Run from death?
Run from death?
White faces coming closer to calling arms
Earth envelopes taking steps without thinking straight
Carve my roast out ripping through the back bacon strips
Ham gatherer
Ridden from the farm
Run from death!
Run from death!
Brent Pork rinds
Brann curly Tailor
The pig is loose
Deep Mud Creature
Delicious Skin
The Last Bacon
“Circle of Swinesquatch”
Burning Ham
Elephant Ham
Pendoulus Pig Skin
Brent Hinds-Quarters
I am ASlab of bacon
Oink Nessie
Cut You Up With a Swineoleum Knife
Hunters of the Sty
This Mortal Loin
Ham Hamingtons Porkstyle Chitlin Snouts
Circle of swinesquatch
Hunters of the swine
Pendulous swine
Porkchops that move
Hog of stone
This mortal sow
Hail to flu
Deep sea porker
Piginations
Hamstadon?
Hams Alive
Bacon Dementia
This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy yelled…
“Crack the Skye!!!!!” all the way to the Mastodon Show
Blood Sausage
This Mortal Sow
Leviatham
Naked Boarn
Circle of Swinesquatch, Hunters of the Swine, Aqua Influenza
Birchmen and swine matestildawn
Where Oinks the Behemoth
Crack The Swine
March of the Fire Swine
Leviaswine
Crack the Swine
Blood and Thunder and Vaccine
John Merswine
(swine) flucatcher
Call of the massive hog
(swine) flucatcher
Call of the massive hog
Swinesblood
Swine Man
Trampled under swines’ hoof
opigion
sleeping swine
burning bacon
The last bacon
Crystal pig
Brann Tailor ham
march of the swine ants
Call Of The Swine Flu
swinebeast
swineberian divide
troy hamders
The Swine is Loose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brent will beat the swine flu outta you
Mother Porker
Boar and Thunder
March of the Piggypants
Pendulous Pork
Porky Tusk
Swine flu? More like Give Me Free Tickets To Mastodon Flu! YUKYUKYUK
Please.
Babe Mountain
Iron Snout
Welcoming Boar
Leswineathan
Thrown from here/Cause I’ve gone coughed too long
Leaving it behind/With my swine flu song.
Now your gone/Thank you Mexico (Mexico to be sung so it fits into flow somehow. just like how he stretches his words out to fit the song)
Cuervoivion.
ironswine, porkodon, Colony Of swinemen, the Flu is loose, swinebeast swine & fllu
The Hog is Loose
Ham of Stone
Crack the Sty
this epidemic is growing faster than I can tell/ swine flu, eats away at a massive swell/ seems however, I’m a victim of immigrants/ hunt for, beans and pork/ ham slicer!/ run with piiiyyyiiiyyyigs
I suppose this one features Josh Ham of Queens of the BBQ ribs
Spirallarian Ham
THANK MEXICANS FOR THIS SWINE
Ol’e Porker
Aqua Sus Scrofa
Colony of Cob Rollers
The new mastodon cures swine flu. True story.
If you give me tickets i promise to give the boys a sandwich with a side of swine flu when i get to the show courtessy of Metal sucks =)… but seriously i really want those fucking tickets lol
Shadows That Squeal
Workswine Chronicles
Circle of the Porksquatch
Where Poops the Hoghemoth
Pigwreck
Megalohog
Wilbur Merrick
Welcoming Pandemic
Aqua Sus Domestica
Iron Snout
Oinky Crest
Flucatcher
The Ghost of Miss Piggy
The Cboar: I. Crap – II. Uproar – III. Panic – IV. The End
The Swine: Economic Crisis / Ignorance / Hysteria / Surgical Mask
The Swine Is Loose
Swinecatcher
march of the bacon bits
Pig Hearts Alive! Cut The Ham Up With A Linoleum Knife. Thank You For This Bacon
The new Mastodon album will be a concept album based on E.B. Whites “Charlottes Web”. It will have great hits such as “When Pigs Fly”, “Boar Tusk”, and “The Butcher” which chronicles the death sequence. “The Butcher” will also have guest pig squealing vocals from Pig Destroyer’s JR. Hayes.
Preorder now and get a limited edition Mastodon pork sausage pack(beef available if you only eat kosher).
if you guys like this dont bother entering me in the contest i am stationed in iraq and wouldnt be able to go to a concert anyway just email me at micah.fuson@us.army.mil if its funny.
Breaking News: Mastodon extinction from undying swine flu virus !!!!!!
Give it to “Brent Rinds” thats awesome.
Where Swines The Behemoth
Porcus Dementia
Hey porcus Dimentia was already done by me May 1.
Swine Mountain
Circle of Swinesquatch
Swine Puncher
March of the Fire Pigs
The Czar of (Hmmm) Bacon
Hand of Porky Pig
Mother Porker
Ole’ Piggy
Burning Bacon.
“Triloswine” or “Squealing Giant” … did i win?
Squeal of the Mastodon
crack the sty
aqua influenza
leviaswine
the last bacon
piginations
Trampled Under Traif
Just guestlist me you fucking swine flu infected pig fuckers.
Porkinations
Ghost of Swin
The Swine Flu is Loose
Crystal Pork
Colony Of Porkmen
Swineflucatcher
Hand of Pork
Pendulous Swine
Hunters of the Pork
Pork and Thunder
Baconbeast
Swine flu destroyer
Where Strides the Swine
damn it im bored.
I said a friggin’ hwot dwog wit’ relish’n’ mastadon it, fuckin’ wise guy!
I’m always late with my brain farts