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What the fuck??

HERE’S SOMETHING NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR: AN ELECTRONICA REMIX OF MASTODON

 Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 at 11:00am by

djtroublemaker

Our pals over at Metal Insider are currently hosting a remix of Mastodon’s “Oblivion” by a fellow named DJ Troublemaker (pictured above spinnin’ mad crazy dope shit, yo). My brutha from anutha mutha, Bram Teitelman, writes of the track -

It’s not that it’s terrible – it’s just not particularly good. It’s slow, plodding, and has all the edge of an episode of According to Jim. Other than a line or two of vocals, a guitar sample, and the acoustic bridge, it has almost no resemblance to the original, which I guess is the point. But the end result sounds  like something you would expect to hear while shopping at a store that Mastodon wouldn’t set foot in.

With all due respect, Bram, I disagree – it is terrible. And I’m not saying that as a “purist.” There’s no amount of X in the world that could make this shit sound good. Maybe there’s a world in which Telefon Tel Aviv or somebody could have done a cool techno-remix of this song… but DJ Troublemaker failed. Epically, as the kids say.

Head over to Metal Insider to listen to the remix, then come back here and let us know your thoughts.

-AR

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  • Edika

    Why do these people hate music so much as to take good songs, rape them , kill them and then rape their dead carcasses over and over again?

  • TWOAF

    Terrible, just terrible.

  • Edika

    Most probably because they can’t create anything original themselves. And they are considered artist/musicians by a lot of people!

    • RobotScythe

      I despise the fact that some DJ’s think of themselves as musicians. That’s like someone who can only use Photoshop calling themselves an artist.

      • http://myspace.com/biosyn teaches_of_peaches

        please tell me more about being a musician and an artist, asshat.

        • RobotScythe

          A real artist/musician creates something from the ground up. All this clown is doing is taking something that original somebody else created and re-arranging it. Big deal. He’s a producer and an engineer, not a musicican. Taking someone’s else’s creative muse and simply cutting it up and throwing a drum machine behind it isn’t really all that impressive to me. Satisfied, asshat??

    • http://www.greatgooglymoogly.com Halfsharkalligator
      • Edika

        The one think I can say is what he was doing was very cool!!! (The guy in your kink)

  • Chimp-0-Neg

    Wholly without merit.

    I judge this to be shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Cefaratti/542463984 Chris Cefaratti

    Can we get some Broken Cyde & Winds of Plague remixes while we’re at it.

  • justin

    ehh, if you consider this in the rest of the world of metal-to-techno remixes, this isn’t that bad. it lacks the direction and linear coherency of the original version, but it’s not bad. reminds me a bit of some of the more mellow stuff rhys fulber remixed for fear factory on “remanufacture.” this is definitely heads and shoulders above justin broadrick’s mid-90′s pantera remixes. dj shadow, junkie xl, chris peterson, or rhys fulber would’ve done much, much better jobs, even though the consideration of remixing mastodon into techno music is wholly unnecessary in of itself.

  • BlakMetallistKrieg

    What a chopped up mess. I got through about 12 seconds of this before clicking it off. Leave it up to DJs to ruin great songs by great bands, right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Menard/502061034 Jesse Menard

    Fuck me, this IS terrible.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Pete-Simone/60802652 Pete Simone

    That’s is on a whole new level of suck, previously thought unreachable by even the shittiest of DJs.

  • http://laburroteca.com K-milo

    That sucked. Badly… That really needs a chaser:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3KEeVMbpl0

  • kyle

    this DJ is the true Satan incarnate

  • http://codeaires.deviantart.com Dorotea

    I don’t want to listen to the damned thing and here’s why – Mastodon’s “Oblivion” is a beautiful song with much more heart than about 99% of all the shit on radio today. It’s about the suicide of Brann (the drummer)’s sister for fuck’s sakes. It’s a very serious song. By making a club re-mix of it, you’re taking a beautiful, serious song and turning it into fluff that you’d hear at a Sweet 16 bash. This song will be a hit, but it should be a hit on its own and not because some half-assed techno “wizard” remixed it. Fuck him.

    • Name Not Applicable

      You probably should listen to it, because there is no fucking way this remix would become a “hit” or be played at anything resembling a “sweet 16 bash”.

  • Timmay!

    ummm, O-K….

    even for techno music (which I don’t mind listening to), that was just boring and repetitive. The whole point of a remix is to either explore a new side of a song, or make a song danceable, but keep the song recognizable. This does absolutely nothing.

    FAIL

  • McTool

    I saw this, and went “Fuck you guys, as a DJ, the promise of getting to play metal remixes during my sets is fucking awesome, no matter what, and you’re probably all just haters.”

    Upon listening, I was like “Jesus fuck, could this be any slower and more boring?”

    126 bpm electro version of Oblivion – that I’d be all over, if it was done right. This shit is just… not going to move an audience at all.

    • jason

      during my sets? Earth to DJ…you are not a musician. Anyone who has told you otherwise is lying or is a total nozzle. PS- a 126bpm “electro” version of any well-loved metal tune is paramount to treason and grounds extermination with extreme prejudice. Just so you know.

  • canea

    boring.

  • 10,000 Gays

    It wasn’t that bad.

  • Gary S.

    This is a Mastodon’t.

  • ceth

    I made it 53 seconds.Couldnt care less to ever go any furtehr into it.

  • johnfuckingsmith

    blasphemy

  • Name Not Applicable

    Am I the only guy who dug this? Really? I thought it was a cool, trippy minimalist electronica (I’m not a big electronica fan so I probably got the genre wrong. Fuck me) song sorta along the lines of, in metal terms, a stripped-down Genghis Tron. Actually, the first song I thought about while listening to this was Nietzschean Conspiricy by Sigh, which I seem to remember being described on this website as “hot robot sex” or a similar phrase.

    Whatever, the other reason I want to post is because I’m wondering why some of you don’t consider DJs to be “artists/musicians”? Responses would be nice.

    • jason

      I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ll try to explain it like this. Again, this is solely my opinion.
      Calling a DJ a musician is a bit like calling someone who cuts out pictures from a magazine and pastes them into a collage on their math folder an artist. The success of these remixes rely primarily on the strengths of the original composition. It is a small step above straight up plagiarism.

      • Name Not Applicable

        Ah, but isn’t the collage an art form of itself? A collage is taking one or several different images or other forms of medium, then rearanging them to create a different whole. This would make the collage maker an artist.

        I will actually admit that I was wrong about the DJ being a musical artist as he PLAYS recorded music, thus being a Disk Jockey. What I meant to say, and what most of you are most likely refering to, is a PRODUCER, which is what this person primarily is, despite having the prefix DJ in front of his name. A producer works much the same as a collage artist, taking one or several samples and remaking them into a new whole. The product is music, therefore the producer is a musician.

        • jason

          While I understand your rationale, I would still argue that collage is a remedial artform and using pre-existing parts to rearrange and make something different is not on par with creating something from the ground up. But like I said, that’s just my take on it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Felipe-Abreu/1292465106 Felipe Abreu

    epic fail

  • Toxteth O’Grady

    And after 34 seconds of nothing that sounded like Mastodon, I gave up. What a steaming pile of please-like-me.

  • Aya

    They should let Jon Hopkins do this. He is a good producer and composer, definitely way better than a DJ.
    http://www.myspace.com/jonhopkins

  • guitar_slave84

    This is by far the worst 3 min I’ve ever let my ears listen to. Its CRAP!!!!!! A whole minute of nothing and the repeating the same incompleted phrase from the song (and one of my favorites from the album). I HATE IT!!!! SOMEBODY SHOULD DESTROY IT AND ACT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. I THINK I’M GOING TO THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Harry

    There are so many good riffs and vocals in Oblivion, it seems like you would have to try to fuck the song up this hard.

  • PD

    Yeah I heard this like a week ago and thought the dude was trying to make the song sound like something off Requiem For A Dream…and didn’t keep the true Mastodon song even remotely intact.
    FAIL on all accounts.

  • Rob

    This is isn’t Electronica. This is DUBSTEP.

  • http://richarddawkins.net/ RICHARD DAWKINS

    ONLY LOSERS USE THE TERM ‘ELECTRONICA’.

    THE CORRECT TERM IS ‘ELECTRONIC’.