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Cinemetal, Haterade

THE WORST BLACK METAL VIDEO EVER MADE?

 Friday, August 14th, 2009 at 12:00pm by

A reader calling him or herself “turkeyhead92″ sent us the below. I’m not sure if it’s the worst metal video ever made, but it is probably the worst black metal video I’ve ever viewed. From the TurboGrafx 16-worthy special effects to the sub-public access cinematography, everything about this is just bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad.

But… hilariously so.

-AR

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  • ceth

    Turbo Grafix 16 > this video

  • gnarlk

    this looks like something that would be on that tim and eric thing that people think is so goddamn funny…

  • brosupre

    almost as bad as Dimmu borgir’s any video they’ve ever made. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9cqKafnUrk

  • Permafrost

    It sounds like the last dying gasp of Tim Burton’s sperm.

  • http://ryandurinick.com Majestic Ice Unicorn

    Shit video, badass song. I foresee I may be the only one here who likes it.

  • Noobie Mcnoob

    I’ve seen worse vids. This song would be really awesome if the vocals and lyrics were a bit better.

    • http://buttor.blogspot.com Buttor

      Yeah it could be better if the vocals, the lyrics, the video, the band and the musical style were different…

  • A_g_a_d

    Phew! for a second I thought that skeleton was coming right for me!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Livingston/25310975 Robert Livingston

    Hahaha, the first appearance of the walking skeleton = LOLz

  • Grymmbear

    I remember their god-awful take on Paradise Lost’s “Say Just Words” a decade ago.

    In fact, that CD was mostly “MISS” with the exception of Orphaned Land’s middle-Eastern reworking of “Mercy” and Legenda’s “seven-minute-song-in-two-and-a-half-minutes” blackened version of “Embers Fire”.

  • dr j

    The name Gloomy Grim makes me think it’s a joke. No way someone could seriously name their band Gloomy Grim. And then make this video.

    • The Ghost of D. Boon

      This.

  • lkgf09

    is there such a thing as a good black metal video?

  • Brandon

    I thought Immortal already won this award

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/agmkreptile FuckYourGayEmoHaircut

    it started off pretty cool…then the vocalist showed up.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Cefaratti/542463984 Chris Cefaratti

    This sucks anyone want to get taco bell?

  • TurdFerguson

    What band really sits around and says to their vocalist “You know what would make this video cool is that we shoot you making evil faces at the camera for 4 of the 5 minutes and show us headbang for 30 seconds near the end of it!”?

  • cougar party

    Frankly, not much worse than most black metal videos. These bands try to be so “evil” with the corpse paint and scary imagery. It almost always comes off like they video taped themselves LARP-ing. I think they are pretty much on par with most other unknown black metal bands.

  • kazz

    It’s bad, but i’ve seen worse black metal vids. Mostly consisting of the bands running through the woods in the daytime, then suddenly playing their instruments and headbanging…. in the woods during the daytime.

  • metalguy

    the keyboard sounds like something from A Nightmare Before Christmas

  • Colin

    That;s hilarious.

    And there are people out there who take this stuff seriously?

  • \nn/

    Of course it’s not the worst ever !! Check this out… now *this* is something to worry about.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5NSvtWirS4

  • Ziltoid

    It’s a shitty video, but black metal has worse. Most are just funny and awful (some intentionally, like Call of the Wintermoon), but this isn’t even funny.

    • Canvas Of Flesh

      Call of the Wintermoon is utterly hilarious.

  • Bill

    do NOT even compare the turbografx 16 to this anal discharge. if you had said some shit about the turbo duo, i was flying to the mansion and splitting some fucking skulls. i would reanimate Heinrich Himmler and bring him with me. blood would be spilled.

  • Bill

    the singer sounds like the dude possessed by the space demon thing from howard the duck. that’s metal as fucking fuck.

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    *facepalm*

  • http://www.formulafiction.com Dr Tizzle

    Looks like the Arsis video that Brodsky made a while ago

  • http://metalinquisition.blogspot.com SergeantD

    Moar TG-16 plz

  • kjetil

    Terrible movie, but I kinda liked the song

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt

    Ahhhh…..just when i think my day is devoid of humor, leave it to Black Metal to cheer me up……

    “..umm Mr Gaahl, what would you say the main driving force behind your music?”

    -eerie silence…bad lighting….cue dark mood music-

    “SATAN”

    …….My ass, gotta love it.

  • http://www.jokerkurye.com/ kurye

    emege saygi tesekkürler devamini bekleriz.