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Haterade

DO NOT WANT

 Monday, December 14th, 2009 at 1:00pm by

brandon sallerAtreyu drummer / vocalist Brandon Saller has announced he’ll be playing a solo show in Anaheim this January. If badly out-of-key vocals are your thing, then I recommend you attend this show. Exactly what this show will entail, I’m not certain… continuous drum solos? Brandon on an acoustic?

Also, what the fuck is going on in the above photo? Who needs 3 fucking bass drums?

Slow news day.

-VN

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brendan-Snow/514886363 Brendan Snow

    Mike Portnoy does. But that’s because he’s Mike Portnoy, he can have as many bass drums as he wants.

    • Johnny Death

      Call Miss Cleo, you could have a sweet gig as a mind reader!

    • Austin

      Portnoy is really the only person 3 bass drums works for. Sure other people may be good enough to warrant them, but the whole thing is pretty tongue-in-cheek to begin with and since Portnoy is a pretty jokes dude, thats the only way it works.

      • stu1

        I’m pretty sure the best drummer in the world has no real use for 3 bass drums. Unless he has three legs.

        • Brian \m/(-_-)\m/

          nah portnoy needs 3 bass drums cuz he has 2 full kits (with 2 different seats) that he switches between during shows. yes, if u didnt know, the “monster” is actually 2 different kits mashed together into one giant…well, monster. for 2 kits, he has 3 bass drums so he can play double bass on either kit. the middle drum is used at all times, the left drum is only used when he’s using the left kit, and the right drum is only used when he’s playing on the right kit. follow?
          brandon saller, on the other hand, is an idiot

          • stu1

            That makes sense, I guess. Asinine, but makes sense.

          • dot

            correction: portnoy’s bigger kit is the one he plays double bass on. the kit on his right is the smaller 4-piece styled kit with a double pedal, which utilizes only one bass drum.

            it is physically impossible to use the middle bass drum when using the smaller kit because it’s too far away.

            and to anyone who wants to know, to paraphrase portnoy’s own words, he uses the kit on his left side when he wants to use a big double bass metal kit, and the smaller kit when he wants a bonham/ringo rock kit.

        • Alaskan King Crabcore

          To be fair, that’s like saying you don’t need more than two cymbals or two toms/snares because you’ve only got two arms.

          • stu1

            Ummm, no, it’s not, at all.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Keith-Brown/537636633 Keith Brown

          Portnoy uses his penis on the third bass drum

      • Slaughterhouse

        Haha…you beat me too it!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mathew-James-Saunders/1153389571 Mathew James Saunders

    Strange…triple bass? and only two of them have mics anyways. Seems like ages ago when these guys were actually good

    • Chris

      ages ago… like never??

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mathew-James-Saunders/1153389571 Mathew James Saunders

        Well shit being 14 at the time, I loved them lol

        • Strapping Young Lad

          haha, those were the days… young, stupid, and anything w/ screaming sounded badass to me.

  • THE ENTIRE METALSUCKS READERSHIP

    Maybe he’s gonna battle Tre Cool or something

  • Kult Black Metaller

    Triple the brutali–

    hahaha I can’t say it.

  • Sophus

    I bet he’s playing the middle one with his dong.

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      In that case, he’s probably gonna need a trigger

    • Kuranes

      Damn, you beat me to it.

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      I came to make a dick joke, but I was too late, apparently. Well played, sir.

      • Fufkin

        Very good

  • http://www.hibernum.net hibernum

    This girl in India could have used that setup: http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/11/07/india.girl/index.html

  • Frampler

    Three bass drums might be legitimate in a Mike Portnoy mega kit where he moves around the kit for different drum parts, but this turd clearly has them as some form of penis enhancement for eye-liner wearing emos. Fucking pathetic.

  • xBEARFIGHTx

    I know he tunes the bass drums differently. But for real it’s all for show. Having good memories of Atreyu and seeing them now. It’s like watching a figure skater fall. Terrible

  • SwineCj

    fucking stupid

  • SHOCKTROOP

    that reminds me of the arnold movie total recall when the chick has 3 tits.

    maybe he has three legs? or a really huge dick that can play a bass drum

    • spencer

      are you suggesting he actually has a penis?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

    doesn’t he use 2 of them for double kick work. and one for when he’s doing single kick stuff?

    • The Magician

      Well, yes that is most likely the case, but what can you expect from the people here?

  • http://myspace.com/stixnstond666 Stixnstond in L.A.

    pathetic ….lame…. pointless & full of himself!

    seriously dude what the f*k are you thinking & who are your trying to pull one over… Are trendy emo posers punks that easily fooled by nobodies like this? honestly, cant bash this guy enough for ego trip he’s attempting to make…

    • stu1

      I don’t like this band, but seeing as they draw 1000-2000 a night, I don’t think he’s really “pulling one over” on anyone. They’re a pretty big band.

  • SLENDER

    The third bass drum id for good luck… Children of bodom…? Sepultura? And its an acoustic set that isnt all that bad, but I dont care much for it.

    • Discipleofthewatch

      Jaska Ratikaainen kicks ass on the drums!

  • SLENDER

    Man you guys are so fucking stupid, Lots of bands of three bass drums are stage, Children of bodom have done it and what about the old school seplutura shit, I mean granted they were different sizes and shit but I mean that was fucking stupid.

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Our drummer uses 5 bass drums

    • Chris

      he must have 3 penises then

      • metalguy

        dick ‘n balls

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Our drummer’s a chick

      • LeroyDragon

        hahaha +1

  • http://www.last.fm/user/wrath_of_vishnu Dillon

    Keep your children at home, Saller is probably doing this to disguise his pedophilia.

    • Beereded

      Just announced for this gig: free (drugged) candy and, if you get in the back of his van with no windows on the sides, you get a free bike.

      • Johnny Death

        The third kick drum is like a little kid lobster trap. They can climb in but they can’t find there way out!

  • Lybrium

    Ironically, there is a raving review on THIS SITE for one of their recent albums…dudes im talkin like 4 outa 5 horns.

    • http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/ Jake Strangiato

      And if you look way, way back in the Archives, Axl (I think) put an Atreyu album on his “Best of ’06″ (I think) list.

      • Beereded

        Guys, links or it didn’t happen.

  • terrybeans84

    My band has fifty base drums, seven guitar players, nine bass players, seven singers, twelve geriatrics running around the stage saying “huh” and a kazoo player.

  • Bread

    Tenacious D had three kicks.

    Granted the show was a 1/4 theatre show and the drummer was Colonel fucking Sanders.

  • slumberjack1

    Middle bass drum is the midget groupie sucking him off for added intensity

  • Primateforever

    Pfft…only THREE kicks? Alex Van Halen used four kicks when the guys from Atreyu were in grade-school. (around the same time Portnoy was thinking about going to Berklee)

    • brent

      Thank God! Someone else who remembers AVH using 4!

      Granted, it was retarded, but at the very least it served it’s purpose to demonstrate that this ass-clown is: 1.) An ass-clown for having more than two bass drums 2.) Actually less metal than Alex Van Halen, because when he went for more than two bass drums he still did less than Alex Van Halen and 3.) about 20 years late for doing something so stupid while still at the very least coming off as original.

      P.S. The only guy I’ve seen who actually uses more than two bass drums effectively is Terry Bozzio. There are a bunch of youtube vids of him doing it on his ridiculously large kit.