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The Webernets

SERGEANT D. THINKS THAT CONVERGE IS SOMETHING AWFUL

 Tuesday, January 5th, 2010 at 9:30am by

converge1A-2

I was a little baffled by the sheer number of comments that were a little baffled by the inclusion of Converge’s Axe to Fall on so many MS staffers’ year-end lists. I mean, they’re Converge. They’re just one of those bands that everyone knows are inarguably brilliant… right?

Wrong, I guess. There is a contingent of the metal community that just doesn’t dig this continuously praised quartet – and some of them are smart people, too. For example, take our friend Sergeant D. from Metal Inquisition and Stuff You Will Hate. We love the Sarge with all our hearts and respect him like he were our own Mansion-mate – hell, he designed one of our most favoritest t-shirts for us -but look what he wrote about Converge as part of a “Best of ’09 Exchange” with Something Awful!

Just to let you guys know I’m not some clueless new jack, I’ll admit that I saw this band in 1994. Back then, Converge eked out a meager living by playing tiny, shitty venues full of obnoxious nerds. The only thing that’s changed is that now legions of equally obnoxious critics fawn over their every move.

“Listen to how INTENSE and COMPLICATED they are,” gush the bloggers and tubby, 30+ outcasts who write for irrelevant hipster metal magazines. “They have 1 zillion riffs in every song, and none of them relate to each other in any way. I feel like they just pulled a handful of atonal, unlistenable riffs out of their sweatshirt hoods and smashed them together — brilliant!! They are truly pushing the boundaries of convention! Oh, and without Converge the world might never have been blessed with Underoath and The Devil Wears Prada. This band must surely be considered the Beatles of third-rate, redundant, exhaustingly dull metalcore!”

Monsieur Dee has other not-nice things to say about Converge, and some other bands, too (Behemoth, amongst others). Read the rest of his tirade here.

And if you hate Converge… well, here’s your chance to tell the rest of us why we’re idiots. ‘Cause I’m listening to Axe to Fall right now, and it absolutely slays.

-AR

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  • Bicro

    Bout time someone gives a counterpoint to all the fellatio they received.

    • http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/ Jake Strangiato

      Took the words (especially “fellatio”) right out of my mouth. Converge sucks.

      • BTK666

        Yes, save me a seat on this bandwagon of hatred! I have been harboring resentment toward Converge for at least 7 years now!

  • Glorious Johnson

    this guy knows more about wigger slam than anyone else. why should anyone care what he has to say about converge

    • Alkahest

      Exactly.

      CHUG CHUG BREEE > Converge? Get the fuck out of my office.

      • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

        Only deathcore bands bree!

  • Nick

    I also saw Converge in the 90s and a few times since. I also thought they were overrated..sure they have talent, but I don’t see where the praise comes from, the singer is beyond aweful, and the band while technically being above average don’t put the songs together in a pleasing way…at least not to my ears. I think Converge is one of those cases where a band gets some underground credibility and no matter what they do everyone is going to like them and say they are good just because they are converge, not based on the music they actually make.

    • Geekbeater

      I will never figure out why anyone likes this band. Its a mash up of sounds with zero groove. WHERE ARE THE HEADBANGING PARTS? I remember reading an interview with Matt Heafy from Trivium and he said something along the lines ” You can be the most talented player in the world but if you cant write songs what good are you?” Yea Converge might be amazingly talented at their instruments but I dont give a shit. Make something worth listening to. Everyone on these blogs and podcasts need to get off bands dicks for how talented they are (Mastodon, Baroness) and appeciate music for what it is, ENTERTAINMENT. Converge are like a bad migraine, someting to avoid at all costs.

      • Me

        AGREED 100%. there are very few bands who can simultaneously impress me technically while still maintaining a groove/catchiness/melody/etc. that entertains to the same extent (BTBAM being my most relevant and consistent example).

        • DICKHOLE

          btbam is a boring band they dont grow they just sink further into what they are….. btbam is way over rated!!!! when i heard their new album it sounded just like all their other shit!!!! once again just becuz your good at your instrument does not mean you can write good music!!!!!!

      • Fuckin Eh

        THANK YOU! I agree completely with what you say. I give credit where credit is due, the dudes can play, but at the same time their music doesn’t make sense. Each song sounds like 20 different songs all mashed together. There isn’t any song structure and it bugs the shit outta me. The vocals suck too in my opinion, but thats just me.

    • stu1

      Some bands and/or styles of music, don’t exist to have cohesive, melodic or enjoyable parts.

      • Deaner

        Okay, then that makes for music that music that can be listened to one time around, and one can appreciate what they are doing, but why listen to it again?
        They’re technical, okay, now what. Give me something I can come back to a few times and enjoy instead of something that sounds good in theory.

        And the vocals are awful.

        • Spwee

          Ever seen a movie that blew your mind, you loved it, but you never saw it again. Yup.

  • msv81

    I would come up with something myself, but the Sarge said it perfectly:

    “As wretched as this band is, their fans might be even more irritating. Equal parts beardo, antisocial masturbator, and Guitar Center geek, the typical Converge fan sports a patchy beard, a paunchy belly, and a super-aggro Internet persona with which he overcompensates for his numerous personality flaws and hygienic shortcomings. You might never meet him face-to-face, but as soon as you see his indignant, dorkier-than-thou posts on the Relapse board about how whatever you like sucks compared to what he likes, you can picture him in your head as clearly as if he were next to you, while being grateful he’s not. Enjoy pissing away your lives on shitty metalcore, Converge fanbois, I’ll be over here texting your little sister and impressing her with stories of seeing this terrible band 15 years ago”

    • canea

      I’ve got a friend who’s a converge fan that this describes him perfectly…

    • stu1

      Not really what I’d consider a “converge fan,” but whatever. I don’t go to enough irrelevant death metal shows to have an opinion.

      • 666lbBongSession

        Most converge fans I see are the one-strap backpack spin kicking douches with gauged ears honestly. Sounds more like a description of a typical Rush fan than anything else but I’ve never been to a Converge show outside of the east coast so who knows. Yeah, it’s an atonal hodge podge of riffs but for whatever reason I enjoy listening to it, call it heresey but some of their albums almost give me that same feeling as listening ánthems to the welkin at dusk’ the first dozen times. It’s like a whirlwind of chaos and fury that becomes more and more concrete upon repeated listens but if you don’t dig em you’ll probably never get to the re-listening point. The vocals are a little silly when he’s barking and chirping but whatever. it fits atleast. I can understand people not liking them at all just a little surprised at the amount of hate on here. They put on a pretty energetic live show and are atleast a little more interesting than, say, Origin or any number of other generic tech-death bands that can just string riff after riff, prefferrably sweeped, together for a half hour or so and call it a day. I admire the musicianship involved but only a handful (cynic, faceless, wormed, etc) actually write songs that I’ll grunt along to and memorize. For whatever reason Converge falls in that group as well, even though theres no real melody the weird “devils chord” riffs and chromatic runs are kinda like hooks. Listen to “color me blood red”or “concubine/fault and fracture” if you don’t get it, awkward riffs but memorable. Anyway, the speeds wearing off so thats my two cents. Later.

  • Mike

    This pretty much sums up my opinion of the band.

    • Big Tricky

      +1, I’ve seen them on two Mastodon tours and I still don’t get what the big deal is.

  • dot

    converge was one of those bands i just couldn’t get into before. they were really awful to my ears. but it seems like more people like them now because of axe to fall. so i dunno. i don’t care either way, i rarely give bands i don’t like a second listen.

  • John

    I can say with 100% certianty that The Devil Wears Prada isn’t converges fault.

    • The Roan

      its yours

      • John

        Ouch Ronius, ouch.

      • John

        To be fair, the blame lies about as much on your shoulders as it does mine.

        • The Roan

          wasnt in the band, no fault

    • stu1

      Exactly. It’s a completely retarded statement.

  • Coby

    In my personal opinion, without Converge, mathcore would not exist. Or at the very least would not exist to the extent that it does now. And yes, Axe to Fall does kick some major ass.

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      “In my personal opinion, without Converge, mathcore would not exist. ”

      All the more reason to use the Nocturnus time machine to kill them in their cribs

      • Bicro

        You are off the chain today, Sarge…!

      • Coby

        Nocturnus sucks.

    • chris

      Listen to Botch!!! Geez!!!

      • ThisIsNecessary

        I agree that Botch is cool, and I am on the side that loves Converge, but if it werent for TODAY IS THE DAY we wouldn’t have Converge. OR Mastodon for that matter. Not many people think about that one either.

        • http://www.metalsucks.net/category/scraping-genius-off-the-wheel/ Gary Suarez

          +1

          for TODAY IS THE DAY

  • Zoker

    Well said Sarge!

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      Thanks bro!

      • DICKHOLE

        HATER!!!!

  • Trux

    Needless to say, i am with the sarge on this one……

  • RockOutWithMy…YouKnow

    I am a HUGE Converge fan, but I also know that they are an acquired taste, like every metal band in the world. I am the opposite of Sarge. I saw them in the late 90′s in Poughkeepsie, NY and I loved the crowd there. They used to have wonderful crowds at The Chance, with of course a few douche nozzles thrown in, and that always added to my experience. The raw emotion that Bannon sings with and that Kurt plays with really drew me in, and it did take me a while to really fall in love with what they do. But, now I cannot get enough and I love Axe to Fall more and more the every time I listen to it.

    • http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/ Jake Strangiato

      “The raw emotion that Bannon sings with…”
      You sure about that? When I saw them it sounded like Bannon was dog-barking in a monotone for +45 minutes. At least they did a decent Vio-Lence cover.

      • RockOutWithMy…YouKnow

        Yep. pretty sure. Just because you, and tons of other people, don’t like his vocals doesn’t mean they aren’t done with emotion. It’s easy to tell how much he loves his music when you are up close and personal with the band on stage. Same thing with Kurt on guitar. The man looks goofy as hell when he plays, but that’s just the way he does his thing, and I for one love it and thank Converge for sticking with their style of music.
        And I don’t understand the dog barking comment. This is metal isn’t it? Clean vocals aren’t the norm and I haven’t seen many heavy bands that don’t sound like some kind of animal when they are playing live. But, the best way I’ve heard Bannon’s vocals described are sounding like a velociraptor. That fits the bill for me.

        • http://lavidastrangiato.blogspot.com/ Jake Strangiato

          The dog barking was the best I could come up with on short notice, the velociraptor analogy does probably work best. I dig a lot of bands that growl, etc, but I wouldn’t say it’s full of emotion, although come to think of it, anger is an emotion, so now that you mention it, you are right, but it’s not gonna change my opinion that Converge sucks.
          As for the metal tag, Converge is definitely a hardcore band with significant metal and noise influence, not the other way around.

          • RockOutWithMy…YouKnow

            Absolutely, Converge is a hardcore band, but after all of the new subgenres that are being thrown around, it just makes my life easier to call a heavy band I listen to metal, even though hardcore was originally how I got into heavy music.

          • RockOutWithMy…YouKnow

            And also, 90% of the bands I listen to have lead singers that mainly growl, etc. But Bannon seems to put the most emotion into it, next to Aaron Bedard from Bane, when he’s up there on stage. If that is not real emotion, then he is the Daniel Day-Lewis of the heavy music scene!

      • The Roan

        yeah, hes sure. so am i.

  • Kindjal

    I am one of those that doesn’t get Converge. I saw Converge this year on the Mastodon, High On Fire, Dethklok tour, and it was the first time I’d heard or seen them. I thought, “This music might be okay, but the vocals are terrible.” It was just, “RAW RAWW RA RA RA RAWWRRRR RA RA RA!” All barks, no words, no dynamics. I shrugged them off and enjoyed the other three bands. After seeing Converge top most of the lists I follow, I’ve been trying hard to “get it” with Axe To Fall. It’s ok I guess. You can hear more in the vocals on the record than you can live. But #1 on most lists I can find? I still don’t get that.

    As for Sergeant D:

    “Equal parts beardo, antisocial masturbator, and Guitar Center geek, the typical Converge fan sports a patchy beard, a paunchy belly, and a super-aggro Internet persona with which he overcompensates for his numerous personality flaws and hygienic shortcomings. You might never meet him face-to-face, but as soon as you see his indignant, dorkier-than-thou posts on the Relapse board about how whatever you like sucks compared to what he likes, you can picture him in your head as clearly as if he were next to you, while being grateful he’s not.”

    This paragraph is exactly how I’d describe Sergeant D himself.

    • DICKHOLE

      ha agreed!

  • Levon

    Sergeant D. listens to A Day To Remember, i don’t care what he has to say about music. I’ll just read his funny blog about scenesters.

    • John

      This insight made this whole article make sense.

      • MikeI

        not if you read the part where he makes fun of a day to remember…

  • NoNameNoSlogan

    Converge is so overrated. I saw them open up for Mastadon a few years ago and the singer was blabbing about hardcore brotherhood and some other bullshit….between every fucking song. Their music is okay but they are waayy over-hyped.

    • Fufkin

      Just like Mastodon.

      • NoNameNoSlogan

        agreed

        • http://verbeatblogs.org/impop tiagón

          [+1]

      • DICKHOLE

        i will agree mastodon is completely over rated now… they used to be good, but now they are a mediocre band that is really good at their instruments………… just becuz your an awesome musician doesnt mean you can write good music!!!!!!!!

        • stu1

          Just because you have a computer doesn’t mean you can type.

        • fightingmike

          Have you seen Mastodon live? Can you name any mainstream metal band that is more competent or more true to metal than Mastodon? Those dudes are amazing live, amazing musicians, and know how to write good catchy, yet epic songs.

          • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

            Avenged Sevenfold

            (see what I did there)

  • JOEY FROM JERSEY, COLLAS UP YA FEEL ME

    I don’t like Converge, I do like Behemoth.

    • NoNameNoSlogan

      I’m a fan of Behemoth as well and his opinion certainly isn’t going to change that. But I’m with him on Converge.

  • KilledByDeath

    Well, in my world metalcore =/= good, and will never be.

  • Fufkin

    I think this band has influenced a lot of self-conscious shitecore but that’s not their fault per se – what is their fault is sounding like a tuneless, self consciously-complex dirge that is somehow received as metal’s equivalent of the philosophers stone. How does that slay? Slaying with tunelessness?

    Maybe I’m old fashioned but I like to start with a tune and go from there. I bet they hate Iron Maiden too.

    • DICKHOLE

      iron maiden is lame……. good for the time back then but pretty lame now!!!! i know they are legends but who cares plus why would you bring up iron maiden in a converge post makes no sense at all!!!!

      • John

        Converge is my favorite band, and I love Iron Maiden.

        • DICKHOLE

          yep iron maiden just dont do it for me sorry!

  • http://thenumberoftheblog.wordpress.com/ groverXIII

    What little Converge I have listened to has done pretty much nothing for me. Same for Coalesce, whom I sometimes confuse with Converge. At least the Sarge has the guts to say that he doesn’t like them.

    • DICKHOLE

      what it takes guts now to talk shit about things you dont like are u kidding me guy?!?!?!?! your a fucking retard!!

      • http://thenumberoftheblog.wordpress.com/ groverXIII

        Says the guy who apparently has no grasp on the English language. I really, really hope that you’re from a country where English is not the primary language. And it takes guts to go against the vast majority out there who worship Converge as some sort of hardcore/metal gods, as you so obviously do.

  • The Roan

    i love converge.

    • John

      “Equal parts beardo, antisocial masturbator, and Guitar Center geek, the typical Converge fan sports a patchy beard, a paunchy belly, and a super-aggro Internet persona…”

      Sounds about right..

      • The Roan

        take off the paunchy belly and thats you bro

        • John

          You caught me

  • Genial Gentile

    Read the entire article, you fucking ninnies….

  • DICKHOLE

    what the fuck sarge d needs to take a chill pill. (does anyone still say thay) converge is amazing especially the new album…….. why does he feel the need to burst a blood vessel in his head by being so mad at sum dudes who wanna rock……… its not htere fault that some or their fans a re freaks look at tool their fans can be annoying as fuck yet i dont let them ruin the music for me……… get over it sarge its better then you think just pry that mind open man its good stuff………… i hope one day sarge will come off his horse and chill!!!!! CONVERGE IST GOOT!!!!!!!!

  • Brian \m/(-_-)\m/

    um, i sorta hate converge. 2 me its just noise. there arent any intelligible lyrics/vocals and while i do admit 2 a good 5 second filler riff every now an then, for the most part i equate converge musically with repeatedly throwing a tv at the wall

  • SHOCKTROOP

    converge blows. I can’t understand why people like them at all. but whatever. I guess my metal palate isn’t sophisticated enough to understand their sheer brilliance. kinda like Devin Townsend. I just don’t get it.

  • Alex_P

    Now, I’ve hated on Sergeant D before, and I shall do so again. The man is utterly irrelevant. He proudly boasts that he likes shitstain recipients such as BrokeNCYDE and fucking Hollywood Undead, while also telling us that he hates Iron Fucking Maiden and At the Gates. Should we really give a shit what he has to say about metal, or hardcore for that matter?

    And Something Awful is true garbage. They once hosted some asshole’s rant about how retarded/socially retarded metal and its fans are.

    • Wyzt

      Hey everyone look at me look at me I’m a moron who doesn’t understand the concept of a comedy website! LOOK AT ME!!

  • Kuranes

    I have No Heroes and I can’t get into it. They are definitely an overrated band. The vocals suck and add nothing to the music. The music sounds like their ambition exceeds their abilities. I’m no fan of the hardcore influence in metal, and if Converge are to thank for that then thanks but no thanks.

  • dan wolfson

    mastodon needs to go djent.

  • Hyperkulturemia

    Man, why do you guys even give creedence to this deeply flawed criticism? If you don’t like them that’s cool, but don’t bash a band for having their own unique sound just cuz you don’t get it. There’s millions of metal bands out there all content to sound EXACTLY THE SAME yet no one dare says a damn fucking thing. Along comes a band that doesn’t fit into any mold, automatically it’s considered shit.

    EAT SHIT AND DIE.

  • iolanach

    Converge are boring, repetitive and hugely overrated.

    Not to mention irrelevant.

    • stu1

      Never listened to them, huh?

      • iolanach

        unfortunately, i have.

  • Facebook User

    never listened to them until i saw them with Dethklok. I’m glad there are people out there who agree with me, because I’m sure they’ve inspired some good/great bands today, but they sound like four people playing different songs at the same time as fast as they can while the vocalist bawks like a chicken in heat

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      LOL well said!

    • fightingmike

      I love Converge, but they didnt sound that great on the Mastodon/Dethklok tour. The mix was aweful for them and High On Fire, but sounded amazing for the two headliners. That is just normal big tour politics. at the San Jose show the mix was terrible for Converge. The snare drum was no where to be heard, the vocals were WAY TOO loud and the bass was dead.

  • Reno Machete

    Hi! I just wanted to see how converge felt about me? We met once in the nineties.
    Thanks!

    xxx
    The Reno Machete

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      They said you were cool but it was kinda weird how you were jocking them way too hard

  • xpurposex

    Sarge, good point on Converge – they are definitely overrated.

    However, Behemoth is great – they make quality records and put on an awesome live show.

    I also find it funny that you ripped Converge fans for their aggro internet personality, when you have an aggro internet personality as well.

    Don’t worry though, you still kick ass! FORCED MUTHAFUCKIN’ ENTRY!!! GFU!

  • http://www.reigninblonde.com Elise

    Sgt D can bash any band I like that he wants to.

    • xpurposex

      Oh snap! Elise from Reign in Blonde!

      The REAL hottest chick in metal!

  • Frampler

    I get them, I rate them, and I don’t really give a toss who else does. It’s fucking easy as piss to rip into any band or artist. For example, I could call Mastodon a bunch of self indulgent Genesis wannabees who sycophantically covet the hipster market; I could call Frank Zappa a failed Avant Garde composer who took to comedy rock and obscenity to avoid legitimate criticism of his composition; and I could call Devin Townsend and cheap and less talented version of Frank Zappa. I happen to hold all three in the highest regard

    However, what’s noticeable about Sgt D’s Converge rant is that only two or three lines focus on the music. The rest of it seems to decry the people who praise Converge. Seems a bit of a lazy and lopsided critique to me, though I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of the same in the past.

    And if that post above about Hollywood Undead is true, then Sgt D should be given a dishonorable discharge.

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      It is correct: I love Hollywood Undead, Brokencyde, Forever The Sickest Kids, Taylor Swift and especially Fight Fair

      • matt

        i dig taylor swift

    • The Choir

      Amen Frampler – exactly what I was going to say. I’ve read his rant three times now and I can’t for the life of me figure out anything in it that relates to Converge’s actual music other than the words “grating shtick.” He has plenty to say about the fans, the artwork, the t-shirts, the video, bloggers, and critics though, and let’s not forget he starts the whole article with that horribly lame “I knew them before you did” bit about seeing the band in 1994. Really dude, if you’ve known about Converge for over a decade aren’t you capable of at least describing their music better than this?

      Honestly, there’s just nothing to see here. Obvious attempt to get attention and I guess it worked, so I hope that makes Sarge feel good. But honestly – disliking a band because of their fans, their artwork, or their critical acclaim is no less superficial than liking a band for those same reasons. Please don’t be mistaken into thinking this somehow makes you cool or “different.” All it does is make me question your tastes and wonder how many records you own because you think it’s cool to own, but secretly never listen to…

  • aggro internet fan

    all the reason to like the band.

  • Genial Gentile

    Sarge,
    Say what you will about Converge and their music/fans…You busting on Jake Bannon’s design skills is pretty hilarious. I’ve seen your work, son…and that shit hella mass entry level.

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      LOL @ your taste

      • Genial Gentile

        LOL. Yeah, I know, that shit is pretty tired. I’m actually a fan of your writing AND Converge, so I’m not really sure what that means. I did love the part in the article about Skarhead and Andrew sending any hate mail directly to Lord Ezec…watchyomouf!.

        • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

          Haha, thanks! I don’t really even dislike Converge, I just find them incredibly dull and overrated.

          As for my design, clearly it is very flashy and trendy so it makes sense that metal fans would hate it.

      • aids robot

        AGGRO INTERNET PERSONALITY

  • rleechb

    I saw converge w/ Dethklok/High on Fire/Mastodon. I honestly went into the show, having listened to Axe to Fall, thinking the band was ok, and I just needed to see them live to really appreciate them. WRONG. Band sucked. Non-stop incoherent barking, no rhythm, no groove, no melody… I didn’t boo them, but everyone else in the stadium did.

    • stu1

      Wow, you saw that show in a stadium? Where was that? Which stadium?

    • http://myspace.com/bizarrodrake Marc

      I heard the same thing from my bros that went and saw the show when it came through Tulsa and I honestly have never thought converge was anything special. Just a bunch of dull riffs and incessant screaming.

    • Captain Wookie

      Couldn’t agree more. I saw them on the same tour in Chicago and expected so much more from them. I listened to Axe to Fall a number of times and thought it was alright but their live show was less than desirable, quite a let down actually.

  • Old

    My problem isnt that people like this band (I am not one of those people), but more to do with the whole metal/metalcore/metal-whatever title everyone gives them. They are not metal. They are not hardcore. They are experimental noise that have more in common with Dinosaur Jr and Sonic Youth then with anything considered metal.
    Thats my 2 cents…

    • The Ghost of D. Boon

      Except that they very consciously identify themselves within the hardcore scene, and always have…

  • Tonberry

    Sacred cows yield the best beef.

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      Tonberry is one of the best monsters in the FF franchise, well done sir!

      • Tonberry

        Hey, thanks chief!

  • I killed a Dunky

    I dig CavE IN :P

  • myke

    converge is a band you either hate or love. i mean i think they get better w/ age. i think every album they have released gets better and better. but everyone has their own beliefs and opinions. remember opinions are like assholes everybody as 1. so i don’t force music upon people. either you don’t like it or you enjoy it. simple as it gets.

  • ferocious_fetus

    I don’t expect people with mullets, cargo shorts and off road trucks to like Converge either.
    I think it’s better that way myself….keeps the Dethklok fans away.

  • http://stuffyouwillhate.com shawnyouwillhate

    im glad someone aired out converge

    i never understood why people like them.

  • Dwarfskeet

    I just listened to a few of their songs for the first time. And at no point did I feel the urge to headbang. Nor bob my head. I didn’t even want to tap my foot. Personally, I don’t like them. But hey, if you do, cool stuff.

  • Joshie

    I like Converge, but not enough to go listen to their entire discography. I have Jane Doe, and that’s good enough for me. I really think that they do put on a good live show, though. Their shows have a hardcore punk level of energy to them.

  • blahblahblah

    the only thing that Sgt. D.’s article was missing was how misogynistic that converge’s lyrics are… i mean, look at this, from “Year of the Swine” on the album, When Forever Comes Crashing: “But I still dream of you twisting and contorting beneath a garbage bag veil”. THAT’S FUCKED UP!!!! a quick read over of their lyrics gives the impression of someone who put WAYYYYYY too much hope into a relationship, got screwed over (repeatedly), and is exploding with bitterness. plenty of metalheads and hardcore fans can relate to that (let’s face it, a lot of us don’t exactly have the greatest social skills and that’s gonna translate into relationships with other people, especially women…), but to spend as many years singing about (or listening to) that, as jake seems to be doing, is just… fuck, man, that’s the kind of shit that emo, porngrind, and rape-metal bands do!!! and sadly, a lot of converge’s fans eat that shit up, because the lyrics are well-written, express how they feel, and the music (except on no heroes and you fail me) is pretty good. and i have to them some props, as they’re not emotionless, passionless wankery that’s all “i’m so crazy, i’m so crazy… lookit me i’m so crazy…” like the dillinger escape plan.

    if you want to listen to chaotic metalcore that’s worth a shit, though, listen to Deadguy, Botch, or Coalesce. although admittedly, the latter has some seriously fucked up lyrics, too…

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      Deadguy were brilliant

      • blahblahblah

        you said it, man…

  • http://toeleven.wordpress.com/ Jayson

    Every time Sgt. D or Gary post something like this it’s the equivalent of Lucy pulling the football away as the commentators go to kick it. Metal is serious business, Charlie Brown.

    • Bicro

      Fuck yeah, dude!

  • Keepitwolf

    How can you not find a part to head bang to? And any way who cares if you can’t? They are a hardcore band, not a metal band.

    I like converge but i do think they are over rated. They deserve more praise for being pioneers than good song writers.

    LOL at people who think converge is technical…

  • Poopenshaft

    OMFG finally people are speaking out against this band – I’m so happy so many of us metalheads see the light. These guys are fucking awful!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Lopett/1657496210 Andrew Lopett

    Thank You, this band fucking sucks, It to me is just noise, They get a top 21 album of the year, but you have bands like Iron Maiden and Iced Earth not even making the list.

  • Tanner

    I didnt like them at first, but now i cant get enough of them! Great album art, good lyrics, a band thats actually willing to go outside of their comfort zone, and great live energy. Love em!

  • Andrew

    Converge slays. Iron Maiden and Iced Earth suck.

    • Fufkin

      You fail at metal.

      • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

        All three bore me to tears

        • http://myspace.com/bizarrodrake Marc

          Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………….

  • crapper

    i tried to listen to jane doe or whatever its called. sucked.

  • aud10ph1le44

    Here I was, ready to state that while I am a Converge fan and I absolutely loved the new record, Sarge is welcome to his opinion too and the music isn’t for everybody.

    But then I read this nonsense and drudgery about how he doesn’t like the Ov Fire and the Void video. And if he simply didn’t care for it, that would be fine. But the article he writes is nothing but a thinly-veiled, poorly executed series of smears against people of Polish descent; a smattering of the same stupid, vague, childish ethnic slurs that stopped being funny around the same time as most of us started finding pubic hair.

    Good day, sir.

  • http://twoja-stara-gra-metal.blog.onet.pl/ Simon

    “They have 1 zillion riffs in every song, and none of them relate to each other in any way.” – hahaha! But I’d rather say that about BTBAM. Converge ain’t that bad…

    • Wot Wot?

      cept BTBAM actually know’s how to play their instruments.

  • jj

    i lol’d cause this bromo thinks behemoth is good.

  • Lady Death

    I totally agree when it comes to Converge. I honestly don’t get it and can’t even bring myself to call it music. Music is defined as “organized sound.” Somebody show me ANY form of organization in Converge. Not to mention the singer makes me wish I was Helen Keller.

    The thing I don’t understand is why everyone latches on to what was said about Converge and didn’t bother to mention what was said about Behemoth. I personally love the band and their music and understand that, like with Converge and every other band, some people don’t “get it.” However, Mr. D skims past the music and goes as far as to insult the entire Polish community. Polish people aren’t intelligent? Need I mention that without Copernicus, a Polish astronomer, we might all still believe that Earth is the center of the universe? Napoleon Cybulski was the first person to discover a hormone (particularly adrenalin) in the human body. The list goes on. Listen to some interviews with Nergal and it’s obvious that the guy knows what he’s talking about. And so what if some of them are balding. DId anyone insult Devin Townsend? No, and I really don’t see Sergeant D having the balls to insult a 6 foot 5, 200 some pound wall of muscle.

    • http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ Sergeant D

      LOL @ u getting butthurt about me recalling playground Polish jokes from 25 years ago.

      I am sure that if I *did* make fun of Devin Townsend he would get the joke because he is a smart guy with a good sense of humor (PS I hate his music)

  • Carbonthief

    I just don’t think converge is enjoyable to listen to on any level. And I don’t think they’re brilliant or complex. Meshuggah makes complex music. Converge does not. Every description of converge’s “math” side I have ever read has been to simply say “off beat drumming.” Off beat does not mean complex, or mathematical, or brilliant! It’s just offbeat, and it sounds like fucking shit. Ok? It just sounds like fucking shit.

    There is no redeeming this band in my eyes. It’s not their level of heaviness that i dislike, because I listen to other bands just as heavy. I even enjoy scream and growl singing, and I like trying to decipher the lyrics as I listen. Lyrics for me can right a band that’s otherwise very wrong to my ears. But even reading the lyrics along while I listen, and believe me due to the rave reviews I did give this band a good try, I cannot make out ONE FUCKING WORD. Not one. Completely indecipherable lyrics.

    Which boils it down to pure offbeat nonmelodic non complex in any way pointless fucking noise.

  • OBEY1019

    Converges’ new album is good not great. New Mastodon is about the same to me. But the new Baroness completely blows I really don’t see how anyone gets into it.

  • ITTOA666

    I can see why trendy fucks would love converge and their “music”. The recording on the older albums (jane doe), sounds worse than burzums. In theory, no one should like this band and they should just go listen to pig destroyer, but they don’t. How their shite albums made the decibel top 100 of the decade list 4 TIMES is beyond me. Fuck.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Harrington-Neil-Sauer/677600672 Harrington Neil Sauer

    I fail to see the relation between Converge and shit like Devil Wears Prada

  • I

    I didn’t read the 130some posts above(that’s just too much reading), and I know I’m chiming in late here but I just have to say something. THANK FUCKING GOD!!!!! Someone finally posted what I felt but cared less to post. Before I actually heard this band, I read an assload of praise about their new album on this site, so when I saw they were playing this fall with three bands I like(Dethklok, Mastodon, and High on Fire) I was somewhat stoked to be able to give them a live listen for my first exposure. But after a good set by High on Fire, on came Converge and I lost a little bit of my soul. That band was shit. I couldn’t make out any of the ‘music’ they were supposed to be playing, and all I heard was noise coming out of the singers mouth. And it was then that I found myself actually standing with my back to the band in protest. I have never done that to a band before, and I’ve seen some shitty bands. However I was not alone in this venture. As soon as I turned my back, a few others around me felt it was the best way for them to express themselves as well, and the next thing I know, there’s about 10 people around me that all have their backs turned to this god-aweful excuse for a band. And I doubt anyone will read this because I am speaking my mind so late on this particular blog, but damn it feels good to get that off my chest.

    • Carbonthief

      I agree, and I hate to put it quite that way because alot of people would describe the music I like as just noise. But that’s really all I fucking hear from converge, is just fucking noise.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hoefer/25511007 David Hoefer

    Yeah, Converge have about as much personality as a Red Bull.

  • The Ghost of D. Boon

    Jesus guys, it’s almost as though Sarge’s entire schtick is to say outrageously overblown stuff that is laser-targeted to piss off self-serious faux-intellectuals with too much invested in their particular genre/fave band…

    I dunno if that’s REALLY what Sarge actually thinks about Converge, I don’t think it matters. I think what really matters is he has identified a band that inspires a very particular form of hero worship (this goes for Behemoth, too) and has basically come up with precisely the screed that will get those fanboys in apoplectic fits. He feeds on this shit, you guys, and you walked right into it.

    Myself, I enjoy Converge quite a bit, but I’m also hella mass chill enough to take a step back and realise that the reason the things he said will cause such an uproar is ‘cos it’s pretty much spot-on 100% correct. Whatever, the motherfucker subjects himself to studio-polished happy horseshit in an attempt to lure jailbait scene pussy, he’s got problems of his own.

    (<3 you Sarge)

  • bender

    I’m starting to believe all the pro-Converge shit you read amounts to propaganda spewed by a very small number of people, probably the band themselves and people close to them. For the record, Converge SUCKS. They suck, have always sucked and unless they radically shift their sound away from noise-core or whatever you want to call the nonmusical crap they produce, they will always suck. Seriously, they actually make limp bizkit sound good by comparison.

    • The Ghost of D. Boon

      Seriously why the fuck do people keep saying shit like “converge is just noise bla bla bla” YOU LISTEN TO METAL YOU FUCKING PUSSIES

  • Skeletonwitchcraft

    a dog getting ran over by a lawnmowers sounds better than converge

  • ThisIsNecessary

    Man it sure is the cool thing to do nowadays to dislike a band when they get popular(Mastodon) or because the music is not fully grasped or understood (Converge). “I liked their early stuff better” or “I knew about them before they got big” should be banned from the modern metalhead mentality. Its almost as if when the majority thinks its awesome, there is always going to be that percentage of stubborn children who only dislike it so they can be different and get some attention. You can never really be ‘underground’ enough for some people.

    Most of the time they miss the whole point of the music and interpret it incorrectly anyway, which I think is the main problem with all the Converge-haters, who mostly focus on the vocals and the chaotic/dissonant riffs. Sometimes its not about the riffs themselves; look at doom bands like Electric Wizard, the music is simple but effective for a certain goal they’ve set out to achieve….the whole point of the music is not the music itself, its the mood that music creates and represents. Not into it? Cool, but it doesn’t mean that its not good, just as its stupid to assume something is amazing just because the compositions are complicated. (Some techdeath bands are fucking incredible but the music is fucking boring. And I’m sorry but I won’t listen to Dream Theater all day, that would suck ass even though they are talented dudes.) But this won’t change any opinions anyway of course, because in the end its just a bunch of pathetic losers having a big dick contest.

    • ThisIsNecessary

      …And furthermore anyone saying Converge has no groove or melody has either never heard the album ‘You Fail Me’, or they are just in complete and utter denial.

  • Seb

    I’ve seen Converge twice, and I’ve been terribly bored both times. I don’t want to say that they didn’t put emotion into their performances, they obviously did, but all I sound I could hear the vocalist saying was something like “BAWK BAWK BAWK.” I love screaming, shouting, guttural vocals, etc. but I like there to be at least some discernible difference from syllable to the next. I like other bands that include a noise element to them too. Converge just doesn’t do it for me.

  • shastabeast

    wahhhh… more bands dropped off our tourrrrrr.. wahh.. thats probably because your egos have gotten in the way now. Im not one of these people that have made judgements based upon the mastodon tour.. ive seen converge since the old space, old espresso bar.. shit ive seen them so many times i cant even come close to remembering in worcester. Just dont care for them anymore.. somewhere after caring and killing they lost me. Maybe its cause kurts head is so bloated. When there is only 2 original members left in the band..i find it hard to believe the others just left on good terms…Anyway, just came to laugh at them for bands dropping off their tour..and im sure they want bigger bands, asking on twitter is only going to get you a bunch of bands that play to thier stuffed animals and 4 friends in the garage. GL guys.