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Haterade

NOT ALL NORWEGIAN METAL IS TR00

 Tuesday, January 26th, 2010 at 2:30pm by

A reader known only as “Jonas” sent us the below video of 55 Escape, a Norwegian band whose biggest influences seem to be Korn and Linkin Park, not Enslaved and Immortal.

Here’s why I find this band kind of interesting. (And moving forward, please be aware that “interesting” and “good” are not the same word.) When you think about it for a second, nu-metal seems to be a predominantly American phenomenon. Off the top of my head, I’m having a hard time even naming a nu-metal band from any part of Europe, never mind Norway. Jeff Killed John were British, but they didn’t get famous ’til they swapped the nu for core and rechristened themselves Bullet for My Valentine. Am I forgetting a really, really obvious band? Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Godsmack, Evanescence, Staind, Static-X, Creed, Hed P.E., Snot, P.O.D., Puddle of Mudd, Drowning Pool, Saliva, Coal Chamber, Methods of Mayhem, 40 Below Summer, Sevendust, Ill Nino, Dope, Papa Roach, Soil, The Union Undergound… ALL AMERICAN. What the hell? No wonder the terrorists hate us.

Anyway, thanks to these sperm clots for doing their part in making America look good. Hoo-rah.

-AR

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  • Facebook User

    I made it 33 seconds into that shit before I had to turn it off.

  • dread

    That list is the stuff nightmares are made of, and a fantastic argument against democracy. I submit to coworkers radios exuding that kind of smoking crap all day.

  • dread

    Oh hey! Slipknot!
    Oh wait, they’re from Iowa.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Showalter/100000592087843 Anthony Showalter

    This is beyond awful. The Gods of Norwegian metal should properly dispatch this whole band with the proper ancient viking weapons.

    Once again, like with Blink 182, Sum 41, and 3 Doors Down, just AVOID any band with numbers in their names!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Showalter/100000592087843 Anthony Showalter

      WAIT! Hold up! Bullet For My Emo Bitch were a fuckin’ Nu Metal band?!!? Opportunist hacks!! Now they suck even more!! Didn’t think it was possible.

      • The Ogre

        What about 3 inches of Blood?

        • SourDeez

          3 Inches of Blood is a kickass “tr00″ metal band from Canada. They definitely have nothing to do with nu-metal.

          • SourDeez

            Oh wait, I’m dumb, you were saying they have a number in their name and they’re good. I’m gonna grab another cup of coffee now.

    • John

      3 inches of blood is a great band

    • Biff Tannen

      Nirvana 2002 is a killer band. As is IXXI (9/11)

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Showalter/100000592087843 Anthony Showalter

        Sorry! Leave 3 Inches of Blood out of the crappy number bands! YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!

  • John

    Uh, rammstein?

    • Caspar Colderson

      rammstein is one of the few bands that is pure industrial without hitting into any nu-metal influences.

      • John

        Wrong

        • dave

          right

          • John

            By this logic spineshank is also not numetal. And that simply isn’t the case.

  • joshkid

    Yeah but thrash metal was “created” in the U.S. Proud to be an american.

    P.S. ummm…Evenescence=nu-metal? don’t think so

    • gibberish

      Yeah, I never saw what was nu-metalish about them

      • SourDeez

        Um….pretty much everything? They were (are?) like a female-fronted Linkin Park.

        • John

          Not worth arguing with closet numetal kids.

  • Skeletonwitchcraft

    that was bad.

  • LukeD

    I’m don’t think that Sevendust is nu-metal

    • Biff Tannen

      Well, they are. Welcome to 1998.

      • joshkid

        their last album wasn’t. and if you insist that it is nu-metal, well who gives a fuck, it was awesome anyway.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rik-Powell/286400508 Rik Powell

    One Minute Silence, Breed 77. Although both of those bands are / were awesome, and I’m sure some people would argue they’re not nu metal. Oh and of course Pleymo, France’s answer to Limp Bizkit.

    • Superhans

      well remembered!

    • http://vague-news.blogspot.com Clarky Cat

      Breed 77 are technically Gibraltan (real? spelling?) though if I recall correctly.

      Man, totally forgot about One Minute Silence.

  • John

    Remember when Machinehead was a nu-metal band? good times! haha

  • SourDeez

    This song is hilariously bad. I guess if Norway has suburban white kids there’s bound to be some nu-metal.

  • RenegadeDave

    The Norwegian accent cracks me up. Something that’s totally unexpected in what is an otherwise pop song.

  • Biff Tannen

    This site is the only place I ever see the word/joke ‘tr00″ ….. seriously, that shit was done being funny at LEAST 5 years ago. Stick to writing about crappy bands as usual, and leave the Jew-humor to someone who is funny, like Larry David.

    BTW, the ‘terrorists’ don’t listen to nu-metal. They hate us because of our unwavering support of Israel

    • aids robot

      how is life with a nonexistent sense of humor?

      • Biff Tannen

        “how is life with a nonexistent sense of humor?”

        Why didn’t you just say “How’s life without a sense of humor?” ?
        It would have been much funnier, and a decent comback. Instead, you facepalmed yourself.

    • SourDeez

      It’s not meant to be funny, it’s meant to be obnoxious and douchey. That’s the point, it pretty accurately sums up the obnoxious and douchey attitude that a lot of metalheads have in real life, not just on the internet.

    • Biff Tannen

      I have a great sense of humor. I spit jokes like no one’s business at parties…until I drink too much and vomit, then Im back busting sides about 30 minutes later.

      “Tr00″ is just painful to look at. Its OVER. DONE.GONE. BYE BYE 2005

      • Andy Synn

        Tr00.

  • Kàn I)))

    Static-X? Nu metal? Really?!

    • Superhans

      of course they fucking are! don’t try and fob them off as industrial because you like them… man up girl pants!

      • Discipleofthewatch

        Kan Bob Girl Pants!

  • MSalonen

    There are at least a few Japanese nu-metal bands.

    • http://vague-news.blogspot.com Clarky Cat

      GIRUGAMESH!

      Abingdon Boys School are definately nu-metal. Bloody terrible as well.

      I supposed Maximum the Hormone count too.

  • http://www.theblacklaser.net Joe The Wizard

    I stopped Agoraphobic Nosebleed for this?

    • SourDeez

      Yeah, in the amount of time you read this article you could have heard about 75 AnB songs.

      • http://www.theblacklaser.net Joe The Wizard

        You’re right. Since I posed my original comment at 3:29 Eastern, a team of NASA scientists estimates that I have listened to approximately 1.092467×10^28 ANb songs.

  • MSalonen

    Also, I thought Ill Nino were Mexican. And there’s 3 Days Grace, who are Canadian.

    But I guess you could easily have it encompass North America in general rather than just the U.S.

    Can’t think of any European nu-metal acts.

    • Matt

      Ill Nino are from New Jersey. And I wouldn’t really consider 3 Days Grace a nu-metal band. But anyway, who cares? It’s so open to interpretation.

  • Octillus

    Mnemic.

    And Soundtrack to Your Escape by In Flames (despite me liking their old stuff a lot) pretty much reeks of nu-metal. I mean, The Quiet Place? Come on.

    • Isaac

      Pretty much everything from Come Clarity on marked their descent into what is essentially nu-metal. I’d say Sweden’s got one of em.

  • GuuGuu

    oh oh i know this! Apartment 26 was British! Geezer’s kid’s band!

    • Genial Gentile

      Winner. Give this kid a donut.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Wilmot/1177765489 Ian Wilmot

    these lyrics are god awful

  • dave

    what is the point in the 2nd vocalist? he does fuck all

    • Andy Synn

      What’s the point of second vocalists in general? Rarely if ever are they used well.

      Superfluous Second Singer Syndrome (SSSS) seems rampant in some areas. And taking them out back with a shotgun seems the only humane solution.

      Which actually leads me to a segue about there being actually quite a large-ish european scene for nu-/pop- metal.

      Off the top of my head I can think of :

      Sonic Syndicate
      Engel (I love Engel, don’t judge me.)
      Passenger (extinct)
      Dead By April (utter garbage)
      Clawfinger

      And there’s quite a lot of well-established bands who aren’t afraid to take some influences from it (with varying results)…

      In Flames (still enjoy Soundtrack, latest one is an abortion)
      Soilwork
      Darkane
      Disarmonia Mundi
      Mnemic (as already mentioned)

      Its also kinda funny as I remember reading many a blog/article/comment arguing about Meshuggah’s influence on (and place in) the burgeoning nu-metal scene, and now we are seeing a resurgence of the same issues in the attempts of death core scene bands to incorporate these same ideas, as well as the term “djent”.

      Plus – I remember The Union Underground. I loved that album back in the day. And no-one has mentioned Stuck Mojo yet?

  • timmah

    I name this sub-genre – “UFCcore”

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Fritz-Pettersen/536945538 Fritz Pettersen

      Haha, word. Dana White should reconsider UFC’s music profile. It kind of dumbs it all down.

  • DirtyWarriorMan

    Drain STH from Sweden. Girl band, I think they were nu-metal.

    I do find it amusing, though, how you guys always talk like there was never anything good to come out of nu-metal. I mean, obviously, it spawned a trillion terrible bands, but so has, say, metalcore (and probably every metal subgenre). The first couple Korn records were awesome, I feel no need to defend them; the fact that the band turned into a complete joke doesn’t change that. The first two Deftones records were TOTALLY nu-metal, and they were totally awesome. They still play all those songs live and people go apeshit. Yeah, fortunately they would go on to transcend the nu-metal sound with White Pony and their later output, but those old records, they are what they are. The self-titled System of a Down record? Is that nu-metal? It’s certainly in the conversation. Finally, what about Sepultura’s Roots (also foreign)? A lot of people jock that album, but christ, that’s about as nu-metal as it gets: produced by Ross Robinson, featuring a guest spot from Jon Davis, totally abandoning their thrash sound, etc.

    I’m not denying that the vast majority of nu metal was comprised of talentless wannabe thugs w/ TERRIBLE haircuts, but you gotta give credit where it’s due. And it was undeniably better than deathcore (this, of course, is not saying much).

    As for it being an American phenomenon, that’s true. Wow that was a bit of a ramble. A valid ramble, though, I contest. Is it 5pm yet?

    • Biff Tannen

      You’re right…Sepultura’s coil snake called “Roots”, along with the first Korn album are the very foundations of numetal.

    • Sandy n Papo

      agreed

      • Lorenzo

        Seconded.

        Without Numetal I wouldn’t have gotten into harder stuff it was the perfect stepping stone. I was also at 40 Below Summer’s last ever show in NJ. I loved that band.

    • SourDeez

      I still listen to Mudvayne’s LD.50 and Nothingface’s Skeletons sometimes. Those albums aren’t half-bad.

  • Eric

    Lost Prophets…..

    They even headlined some stupid MTV2 tour that had NU in the titled of the tour with The Apex Theory, Andrew WK, and Hotwire.

    They were definitly nu metal

    • Lorenzo

      They sound nothing at all like numetal. Don’t lump them in just because you hate them.

      • Andy Synn

        Fakesoundofprogress (all one word kids!) is definitely nu-metal.

        Remember, we’re working on the assumption that being “nu-metal” isnt an insult… being shit however is.

        • Lorenzo

          I have no love for them but to me that sounded more punk than anything.

  • http://lordsofmetal.nl/index.php?lang=en Cavorka

    The song sucked, damn, this band came 10 years too late! Do they actually belive people are still interested in this?

    But still, I don’t mind some nu-metal, I like Ill Nino & Slipknot….and I’m one of the few who finds Linkin Park and Nickelback waaaaayyy shittier than Limp Bizkit, who actually have some guilty-pleasure tunes, and a hilarious frontman!

  • Adam

    I made it to :44

  • Alex_P

    In Flames, even though I like their stuff, are nu-metal by this point.
    In terms of shit nu-, I’d say Dead by April, previously mentioned on this site. Overall, Europe avoided the trend well.

  • mike

    Anyone remember the much-hyped UK band Vacant Stare? Blindspott were a popular New Zealand nu metal band.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Troy-Rickard/1516566408 Troy Rickard

      I always thought of Blindspott as a hard rock band more than nu metal, their self titled album had some cool songs.

    • http://vague-news.blogspot.com Clarky Cat

      Hells yes I remember Vacant Stare! Oh man, good times. They kicked arse live.

      • mike

        Blindspott’s debut album was definitely nu-metal, with the turntable and the typical downtuned riffs. Second album was an obvious attempt to distance themselves from the genre.

  • http://www.myspace.com/7stringslaughter CJLsky

    Headplate and Twin Method are from Sweden and the UK, respectively, and both are nu-metal. But yeah, even though I actually like some nu-metal, this shit is just atrocious.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Yianni-Kordos/771084074 Yianni Kordos

    H Block X were German, IIRC. That’s almost as bad as being as Norwegian nu metal band. Although I guess they weren’t as popular as most of the bands on that godforsaken list.

  • larsS

    this is not metal, and dont bring america-imperium INTO REAL MUSIC SHIT HEAD, norway

    is not the about saving poor american soul from nihilsm, and again, this shit is not

    what norway have to offer boring souls of americana, we always have another stuff cuming,

    shithed!!

    • Andy Synn

      Aren’t you Lars Umlaut from guitar hero?

      • Grymmbear

        Is “shithed” a verb? As used in the following sentenced:

        “Scotty shithed himself due to the lack of available toilet seats in the bathroom.”

  • benny

    My old band played a few shows with a British nu metal band a while back. This was 2004 or 05 so there were traces of mall screamo seeping in but they were fat 30 year old dudes playing dropped 7 string guitars so it came off pretty nu metal. All I really remember about them was that always put Tool and Korn on the jukebox before the shows and that they came from the U.K. specifically to play shitty dive bars in Arizona.

  • xxins8nexx

    are you saying they aren’t TR00 because they’re influenced by nu-metal?
    OHHHH but if they were influenced by Immortal, Emperor, etc THEN they would be a TR00 band huh?
    you’re a fucking idiot.

    p.s. this band sucks ass. but some nu-metal is good.

  • Freedom35

    There was an awesome british band called Earthtone9 that were nu-metal.

    • http://vague-news.blogspot.com Clarky Cat

      They were fucking brilliant. Don’t forget Zero Cipher as well.

      • Freedom35

        Will have to check them out.

  • http://vague-news.blogspot.com Clarky Cat

    Surely Lostprophets first record counts as nu-metal?
    And weren’t Autonomy all British apart from the lead singer?
    Number One Son, Kilkus and Opiate are also forgotten British nu-metal bands (Opiate for good reason).

  • http://www.myspace.com/badkarma619 Alan

    OneSideZero put out a good record that was definitely nu-metal-ish.

  • Delorie

    Not that anyone really cares about Hed P.E… but they are not even a metal band, let alone a nu-metal band. I never understood why they were grouped with the likes of Korn, Disturbed, etc.

  • true

    norwegian black metal is a part of gaymetal way in music,fuck that shit

  • Sean

    Man I can’t believe you people…talking crap about nu-metal…you’re pissing me off

    *starts making grunts and various noises and signs of untrolled rage*

    Oh wait…here it comes…

    *body starts glowing and transforming, all of a sudden a blinding white light explodes, and Sean goes from casual-dressed, clean cut, mild-mannered young man into a baggy camo pants, Adidas shirt, skate shoes wearing mongoloid with multi-colored dreadlocks and scraggly facial hair only a 12 year old could grow and reeks of pot smoke:

    JUMP DA FUCK UP!!!

    MUTHAFUCKA YOU CANT UNDERSTAND ALL MY HATE
    MUTHAFUCKA YOU CANT UNDERSTAND ALL MY RAGE

    GONNA DUST OFF MY AIRWALKS AND BAGGY JNCO JEANS
    32 YEARS OLD, GONNA BE THE BAD-ASS ON THE SCENE
    THOSE HIGHSCHOOL BULLIES, CAN’T GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD
    MOMMY GET THEM AWAY, I WANT TO SEE THEM DEAD
    GONNA GET ENDORSED BY ADIDAS, PUMA, AND FUBU TOO
    GONNA BRING THEM SICK ASS BEATS STRAIGHT TO YOU
    UP IN THE 0 – 10 MY MUSIC IS STILL RELEVANT AND FRESH
    ONLY THESE DAYS, MY NU-METAL ASS GETS PAID WAY LESS
    DROPPED OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL TO START MY PHAT-ASS BAND
    BEAT MY DICK LIKE IT OWES ME MONEY WITH MY RIGHT HAND
    CUZ
    I’M A FREEK
    DON’T LOOK AT ME
    I’M A FREEK
    SO MANY CUTS, I’M BLEEDING

    • Andy Synn

      So Nu-Metal Man, you reveal yourself at last!

      I thought my metalcore minions had finally done away with your incessant foiling of my plans!

      Ist nicht krieg!!!

  • Steph

    Nu metal is such a stereotypically American genre I’m not suprised there aren’t many European bands that play it. I can think of a few bands who are obviously influenced by it though, like Sikth and Dir en grey, although they’re too interesting and diverse to reallly fall under that label.

  • \m/

    France had its share of nu acts, too. Pleymo was already mentioned, but the French scene also includes Watcha and Enhancer. By the way this is *not* a recommendation to listen to said bands…