FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A COPY OF REVOLVER MAGAZINE’S TATTOO ISSUE

Thursday, March 18th, 2010 at 4:30pm by Vince Neilstein

Congrats to kickoutthejamsman and The Overmatt, winners of the super awesome White Wizzard jeanjacket prize pack! The winning entries:

  • kickoutthejamsman: “And the party for MetalSucks bloggers went pretty much as expected.”
  • The Overmatt: “The Cazares family reunion always features the annual jam session.”

This week we’re giving away three copies of Revolver Magazine’s latest Tattoo Issue which features stories on the inked skin of Slayer, Ozzy, Henry Rollins, Slipknot, Guns N’ Roses and more in addition to Revolver’s usual music coverage. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo [sent in by Voltron Futura]. Make sure to include your email address in the email field, or write it into the comment if you’re using Facebook Connect to access our site.

black metal bike

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91 COMMENTS on “FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A COPY OF REVOLVER MAGAZINE’S TATTOO ISSUE”

  • WowWee! says:

    May the Pentagram give me God’s Speed at the Devil’s Blunders.

  • bearbomb says:

    Bicycle with hidden satanic imagery outbids piece of toast with burnt image of the Virgin Mary on ebay, pleases black metal fans everywhere.

  • Paul Pickens says:

    the tire tracks found at several church arsons were linked to John and his “demon Huffy”

  • Francis says:

    Even the bicycles in Norway are tr00 kvlt…

  • Lordassenfroth says:

    this gives new meaning to the phrase “hell on wheels”

  • Sacajawea says:

    “Two lucky winners will get the following: 1) a stylish jean-jacket adorned with a White Wizzard back patch (!), 2) a White Wizzard t-shirt, 3) A CD copy of Over the Top, 4) a White Wizzard poster. Crikey, that’s a lot of swag! Two runners-up will each also win a t-shirt.”

    Shouldn’t there have been 4 winning entries then?

  • FlyingDadBomb says:

    Kenny shows off his new bicycle, which was ridden by King Diamond in his childhood years.

  • TallNerdGuy says:

    The only bike he’ll ride is one that features Dimmu Bor-”gears.”

  • cougar party says:

    Contrary to popular belief, Rob Pilatus did not die from a drug overdose. He sold soul to the devil for another chance at life….and a wicked ten speed.

  • Ollie Drew says:

    Check out my “Dimmu Bike-gears.”

  • Bicro says:

    Unfortunately, prize not worth it.

    At all.

    So to contribute, I’ll just say….listen to Meshuggah?

    Ah, screw it.

  • Deven says:

    Check it out. My mom just bought it for my birthday.

  • Tito Lopez says:

    Lars Årmstrǿng has taken the lead at the Toor ov Norway. he has been passing out bracelets made of goatskin that say kvltstrong along the way.

  • Andy Beaman says:

    Put your pedal to the (black) metal!! Hail Satan \m/

  • Chainsword says:

    Those satanists look for the dark lord’s taint in everything, even the tour de france.

  • cactusfarm says:

    “…you see, through the use of this gear and chain system, the gears having unequal number of teeth, or cogs, the rotational speeds and torque produced propel the user forward by means of mechanical advantage. Hail Satan!”

  • SchenkelTown says:

    Before they were Cradle of Filth, they were Pent-A-Schwinn

  • OneLastMartini says:

    Installed by King Diamond in ’87. Wait until you see my pogostick!

  • Brian Koz says:

    Varg Bikernes and his baby blue Satani-Schwinn

  • Gaia says:

    Dani Filth likes to show he’s kvlt.

  • gripez says:

    Because even beach cruising on a sunny day can be made tr00, kvlt, and n3cr0. Someone can steal this if they want. I have no desire to win that prize at all. Just wanted to make teh funnyz.

  • EdSW says:

    Penta-cycle

  • EdSW says:

    Pent my Ride II

  • Vakarm says:

    Tr00 ByciKvlt!!!!!

  • skullsession says:

    The guys down at Monster Garage show off their latest creation using Dead’s skull fragments.

  • Wildman says:

    Varg puts pentagrams on his bike, so the “ignorant negroes” of his new neighbourhood don’t steal it.

  • Lindsey says:

    Cool, a VAGINA! This is a vagina, right?

  • Mike Lippert says:

    Now that Roadrunner isn’t focusing metal anymore, one of their first cuts was to Cradle of Filth’s tour support.

  • Dart says:

    Bike Metal Ist Krieg

  • MetalBagpipes says:

    The black metal episode of Pimp My Ride didn’t capture nearly as much of the hipster demographic as the executives at MTV had hoped.

  • Devon Czekaj says:

    Yo dog, we heard you liked Satan, so we put a pentagram on your ride you so can get down with Satan while you bike!

  • Stewart says:

    Well, Lance, it looks like your testicle was sabotaged. By Satan.

  • Joe the Destroyer says:

    The new Dimmu Borgircycle is powered by 100% Satan.

  • EdSW says:

    Ride The Lightning!

  • That Metal Dude says:

    Abbath proves that anything is better with some Immortal. BIKE GEARS IST KRIEG!!!!!!!!!!!

  • SourDeez says:

    Check it out! When you pedal backwards, hidden messages tell you to kill everyone!

  • Clayer says:

    The diminutive Dani Filth and one of his Lucky Charms. They’re magically Blasphemous!

  • Clayer says:

    Dani Filth and one of his Lucky Charms. They’re magically devilicious!

  • spencer says:

    Dani filth prepares the satan cycle

  • hexbasher says:

    not the bicycle freddy mercury sung about…

  • Sean Goff says:

    It gives a new meaning to the term ‘vicious cycle’.

  • C Frazier says:

    Wait till you check out my sick basket.

  • Chainsword says:

    The bike seat is real Virgin Skin!

  • George K III says:

    *In The Styling Of Freddie Mercury*

    I don’t believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein, or Superman…..All I want to play is…
    BLACK METAL! BLACKMETAL! BLACK METAL!
    I want to play my BLACK METAL.

  • Necrorapist666Satan says:

    “Hmmm, how quaint, I deduce that such a fascinating machine is indeed capable of perpetual motion if kinetic energy is released to propel the mechanism horizontally.Perhaps however such a deduction is precocious of me.”

  • Bill Wasserman says:

    Corpse paint, dreadlocks and a shiny POS bicycle…and his parents thought he would never amount to anything. Top o the world ma!!!

  • Tess says:

    Running little old ladies over with your bicycle just became that much kvlter.

  • Che Guitarra says:

    Using all of his royalties from Dope and Murderdolls, Tripp Eisen is well on the way to trick out his ride.

  • WowWee! says:

    This is still more metal than anything Bon Jovi has even ridden on.

  • Travis Vic says:

    On the 8th day satan created the bicycle.

  • Mel says:

    Yeah! I just sucked some guys dick to get this black metal bicycle, oops still got cum stains on my pants. That’s still metal though…right?

  • Alex W says:

    DJ Ashba trying out new personas and exploring new hobbies before he inevitably gets fired from Guns N’ Roses.

  • Peter G says:

    You can make your bike have a pentagear, and the wheels have to be tr00, what next?

  • Uglymicrowave says:

    WORD! you guys like my new Huffy Pentagram 5000?

  • anttichrist says:

    The Pentagram TURNS!

  • iRoar says:

    Look, it goes up to eleven…

  • HominyGrits says:

    This is my offical warock training transport mode … I can`t wait till I get my broom !

  • davidcottongim says:

    Dani Filth shows off his new 6-6-6 speed bike.

  • davidcottongim says:

    New bikes from “Demons r us” only $666.00

    great gift for your evil little tike. Mortal or not.

  • Masticatormike says:

    “Keeping it KVLT”

  • Don Schraier says:

    This is the part that makes it go ’round and ’round.

  • TallNerdGuy says:

    When you were shouting at the Devil…we were oiling our bicycle chains.

  • Old Man Mike says:

    Cradle of Spokes

  • vickie paskel says:

    I told you I’d have a star one day, I just didn’t say where.

  • Jizzmaster3000 says:

    Pentacycle

  • Carol Jackson says:

    Wicked Wiccan on Wheels

  • Joe says:

    Try to steal these wheels, Francis

    or

    I present you the REAL “Best Bike in the Whole Wide World” ICP 4 LIfe

    haha
    both Pee Wee references, except for the ICP crack

  • tayne hughes says:

    after nergal got the shit sued out of him, he had to downsize. without his car, he had to sell his soul for the satancycle so he could ride around collecting penta-cans to trade in for money.

    damn christians :P

    i did good meg?

  • mike says:

    …and THIS is where I got my you-know what entangled!

  • sarang naik says:

    The Pentagram Rotates!! by Satyricon!

  • jeff says:

    And his friends said there was no way to make his baby-blue bike br00tal…

  • Gabe says:

    Unhappy with the dread extensions his Huffy endorsement deal paid for, Tom G. Warrior continues to wear a skull cap.

  • Ben says:

    Beelzebike

  • Dave B says:

    Now my bike is as gay as I am!

  • Daniel R.Welch says:

    This is what happens when a biker loses his license.

  • Gerardo says:

    The tires stop moving, BUT THE RIMS KEEP SPINNING!

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