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Contests

FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A COPY OF REVOLVER MAGAZINE’S TATTOO ISSUE

 Thursday, March 18th, 2010 at 4:30pm by

Congrats to kickoutthejamsman and The Overmatt, winners of the super awesome White Wizzard jeanjacket prize pack! The winning entries:

  • kickoutthejamsman: “And the party for MetalSucks bloggers went pretty much as expected.”
  • The Overmatt: “The Cazares family reunion always features the annual jam session.”

This week we’re giving away three copies of Revolver Magazine’s latest Tattoo Issue which features stories on the inked skin of Slayer, Ozzy, Henry Rollins, Slipknot, Guns N’ Roses and more in addition to Revolver’s usual music coverage. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo [sent in by Voltron Futura]. Make sure to include your email address in the email field, or write it into the comment if you’re using Facebook Connect to access our site.

black metal bike

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  • WowWee!

    May the Pentagram give me God’s Speed at the Devil’s Blunders.

  • bearbomb

    Bicycle with hidden satanic imagery outbids piece of toast with burnt image of the Virgin Mary on ebay, pleases black metal fans everywhere.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-Pickens/58502702 Paul Pickens

    the tire tracks found at several church arsons were linked to John and his “demon Huffy”

  • Francis

    Even the bicycles in Norway are tr00 kvlt…

  • Lordassenfroth

    this gives new meaning to the phrase “hell on wheels”

    • Anthony R.

      WIN!

  • Sacajawea

    “Two lucky winners will get the following: 1) a stylish jean-jacket adorned with a White Wizzard back patch (!), 2) a White Wizzard t-shirt, 3) A CD copy of Over the Top, 4) a White Wizzard poster. Crikey, that’s a lot of swag! Two runners-up will each also win a t-shirt.”

    Shouldn’t there have been 4 winning entries then?

  • FlyingDadBomb

    Kenny shows off his new bicycle, which was ridden by King Diamond in his childhood years.

  • TallNerdGuy

    The only bike he’ll ride is one that features Dimmu Bor-”gears.”

    • slavetothegrinder

      HAAA……

  • cougar party

    Contrary to popular belief, Rob Pilatus did not die from a drug overdose. He sold soul to the devil for another chance at life….and a wicked ten speed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ollie-Drew/664483181 Ollie Drew

    Check out my “Dimmu Bike-gears.”

  • Bicro

    Unfortunately, prize not worth it.

    At all.

    So to contribute, I’ll just say….listen to Meshuggah?

    Ah, screw it.

  • Deven

    Check it out. My mom just bought it for my birthday.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clayton-Michaels/197402551 Clayton Michaels

    It’s a 6-6-6 speed.

    clayton1220@yahoo.com

    • Amaj9

      LMAO, Win.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tito-Lopez/44400409 Tito Lopez

    Lars Årmstrǿng has taken the lead at the Toor ov Norway. he has been passing out bracelets made of goatskin that say kvltstrong along the way.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andy-Beaman/1260212418 Andy Beaman

    Put your pedal to the (black) metal!! Hail Satan \m/

  • Chainsword

    Those satanists look for the dark lord’s taint in everything, even the tour de france.

  • cactusfarm

    “…you see, through the use of this gear and chain system, the gears having unequal number of teeth, or cogs, the rotational speeds and torque produced propel the user forward by means of mechanical advantage. Hail Satan!”

  • http://schenkeltown.blogspot.com SchenkelTown

    Before they were Cradle of Filth, they were Pent-A-Schwinn

  • OneLastMartini

    Installed by King Diamond in ’87. Wait until you see my pogostick!

  • Brian Koz

    Varg Bikernes and his baby blue Satani-Schwinn

  • Gaia

    Dani Filth likes to show he’s kvlt.

  • gripez

    Because even beach cruising on a sunny day can be made tr00, kvlt, and n3cr0. Someone can steal this if they want. I have no desire to win that prize at all. Just wanted to make teh funnyz.

  • EdSW

    Penta-cycle

  • EdSW

    Pent my Ride II

  • Vakarm

    Tr00 ByciKvlt!!!!!

  • skullsession

    The guys down at Monster Garage show off their latest creation using Dead’s skull fragments.

  • Wildman

    Varg puts pentagrams on his bike, so the “ignorant negroes” of his new neighbourhood don’t steal it.

  • Lindsey

    Cool, a VAGINA! This is a vagina, right?

  • Mike Lippert

    Now that Roadrunner isn’t focusing metal anymore, one of their first cuts was to Cradle of Filth’s tour support.

    • evilfatguy

      Didn’t they stop focusing on metal when they signed Nickelback?

  • Dart

    Bike Metal Ist Krieg

  • MetalBagpipes

    The black metal episode of Pimp My Ride didn’t capture nearly as much of the hipster demographic as the executives at MTV had hoped.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Devon-Czekaj/550092101 Devon Czekaj

    Yo dog, we heard you liked Satan, so we put a pentagram on your ride you so can get down with Satan while you bike!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Devon-Czekaj/550092101 Devon Czekaj
    • Amaj9

      Xzibit himself would be proud of that one, lol.

  • Stewart

    Well, Lance, it looks like your testicle was sabotaged. By Satan.

    • slavetothegrinder

      win!!!

  • Joe the Destroyer

    The new Dimmu Borgircycle is powered by 100% Satan.

  • EdSW

    Ride The Lightning!

  • That Metal Dude

    Abbath proves that anything is better with some Immortal. BIKE GEARS IST KRIEG!!!!!!!!!!!

  • SourDeez

    Check it out! When you pedal backwards, hidden messages tell you to kill everyone!

    • Chimp-O-Neg

      win

  • Clayer

    The diminutive Dani Filth and one of his Lucky Charms. They’re magically Blasphemous!

  • Clayer

    Dani Filth and one of his Lucky Charms. They’re magically devilicious!

  • spencer

    Dani filth prepares the satan cycle

  • hexbasher

    not the bicycle freddy mercury sung about…

  • Sean Goff

    It gives a new meaning to the term ‘vicious cycle’.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

    andrewsterner@hotmail.com

    “My 10 speed goes to 11″

    • hexbasher

      nice….

  • C Frazier

    Wait till you check out my sick basket.

  • Chainsword

    The bike seat is real Virgin Skin!

  • George K III

    *In The Styling Of Freddie Mercury*

    I don’t believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein, or Superman…..All I want to play is…
    BLACK METAL! BLACKMETAL! BLACK METAL!
    I want to play my BLACK METAL.

  • Necrorapist666Satan

    “Hmmm, how quaint, I deduce that such a fascinating machine is indeed capable of perpetual motion if kinetic energy is released to propel the mechanism horizontally.Perhaps however such a deduction is precocious of me.”

  • Bill Wasserman

    Corpse paint, dreadlocks and a shiny POS bicycle…and his parents thought he would never amount to anything. Top o the world ma!!!

  • Tess

    Running little old ladies over with your bicycle just became that much kvlter.

  • Che Guitarra

    Using all of his royalties from Dope and Murderdolls, Tripp Eisen is well on the way to trick out his ride.

  • WowWee!

    This is still more metal than anything Bon Jovi has even ridden on.

  • Travis Vic

    On the 8th day satan created the bicycle.

  • Mel

    Yeah! I just sucked some guys dick to get this black metal bicycle, oops still got cum stains on my pants. That’s still metal though…right?

    • WowWee!

      If you scream SLAYER!!! then it’s not gay.

  • Alex W

    DJ Ashba trying out new personas and exploring new hobbies before he inevitably gets fired from Guns N’ Roses.

  • Peter G

    You can make your bike have a pentagear, and the wheels have to be tr00, what next?

  • Uglymicrowave

    WORD! you guys like my new Huffy Pentagram 5000?

  • anttichrist

    The Pentagram TURNS!

  • http://www.metality.net iRoar

    Look, it goes up to eleven…

  • HominyGrits

    This is my offical warock training transport mode … I can`t wait till I get my broom !

  • davidcottongim

    Dani Filth shows off his new 6-6-6 speed bike.

  • davidcottongim

    New bikes from “Demons r us” only $666.00

    great gift for your evil little tike. Mortal or not.

  • Masticatormike

    “Keeping it KVLT”

  • http://dschraier@ca.rr.com Don Schraier

    This is the part that makes it go ’round and ’round.

  • TallNerdGuy

    When you were shouting at the Devil…we were oiling our bicycle chains.

  • Old Man Mike

    Cradle of Spokes

  • vickie paskel

    I told you I’d have a star one day, I just didn’t say where.

  • Jizzmaster3000

    Pentacycle

  • Carol Jackson

    Wicked Wiccan on Wheels

  • Joe

    Try to steal these wheels, Francis

    or

    I present you the REAL “Best Bike in the Whole Wide World” ICP 4 LIfe

    haha
    both Pee Wee references, except for the ICP crack

  • tayne hughes

    after nergal got the shit sued out of him, he had to downsize. without his car, he had to sell his soul for the satancycle so he could ride around collecting penta-cans to trade in for money.

    damn christians :P

    i did good meg?

  • mike

    …and THIS is where I got my you-know what entangled!

  • sarang naik

    The Pentagram Rotates!! by Satyricon!

  • jeff

    And his friends said there was no way to make his baby-blue bike br00tal…

  • Gabe

    Unhappy with the dread extensions his Huffy endorsement deal paid for, Tom G. Warrior continues to wear a skull cap.

  • Ben

    Beelzebike

  • Dave B

    Now my bike is as gay as I am!

  • Daniel R.Welch

    This is what happens when a biker loses his license.

  • Gerardo

    The tires stop moving, BUT THE RIMS KEEP SPINNING!