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THIS IS WHY I ALWAYS TELL WOMEN I LISTEN TO METAL ON THE FIRST DATE

 Wednesday, February 16th, 2011 at 3:30pm by

Because if they can’t even consider the possibility of dating someone who loves a band called Pig Destroyer, we have no future together.

-AR

Thanks to Robert Huismans for sending us this delightful cartoon.

  • Vakarm

    Same here. And that is also why i will forever remain a beta

  • WowWee!

    Thats Alpha as fuck

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Burton/784250631 Dan Burton

    Luckily my girlfriend and I never had to have this conversation as she likes ‘teh metulz’ as well.

  • bro

    lol my wall is covered with pig destroyer/Dillinger escape plan promo posters, my girlfriend actually likes both the bands, but is not a metal head. its nice.

    • The I

      No she doesn’t.

      It’s really sweet that she pretends, though.

      • D

        this

      • mellukka

        agreed with above.
        she really doesn’t like them, but it’s nice she pretends for you.
        if she really liked them she’d listen to ‘em on her own.
        i like that my boyfriend doesn’t even bother pretending though..
        metal is MY schtick.

  • Decius541

    You fuckin tell her! Haha

  • Yodocq

    Some chicks can learn useful stuff.Like obeying Master.Get some red ball for her mouth,chaps. ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alejandro-Aldana/683878171 Alejandro Aldana

    i always liked the cartoon of a huge metal fan next to a metal fan.

  • mchuckie1006

    My girlfriend tells me that I will grow out of metal one of these days. And get this she listens to fucking rap. Good thing she has a nice rack and is hot or otherwise I would be pleasuring myself all the time. At least if I did that I would not have to cuddle. I imagine myself at the age of 70 driving to the flea market blasting Cannibal Corpse. I am going to be the meanest crotchety all man ever.

    • Isaac

      Rap isn’t universally bad, though.
      But chances are she listens to Lil’ Wayne or Wiz Khalifa or Kid Cudi or some other tripe.

    • booortz

      basically the only reason i still practice guitar is so that when i’m 80 i can sit in a rocking chair on the porch and annoy local kids with slayer riffs

    • Frankzed

      I can’t wait to tell my grandchildren
      “Turn that crap off!!!”
      “Why can’t you listen to some Pantera or old school Sepultura!”
      “Darn kids these days with their futuristic space music!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Reagan/520958920 Mike Reagan

    Grindcore?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sanskar-Wagley/1376400331 Sanskar Wagley

    Looks like Eric and Donna from That 70′s Show

  • Mongorian

    beta as fuck

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Drew-Zalucky/9021682 Drew Zalucky

      I knew someone would make that connection haha

  • Matt

    She doesn’t listen to Metal, but my adoration of the genre seems to turn my girlfriend’s crank for one reason or another. I came back from seeing Crowbar last month…BAM! B.J. Eyehategod the other night…BAM! Coffee tabled.

    We’re meeting friends for Maryland Death Fest, and splitting a hotel room is just not an option.

    • Krang10

      Haha thats pretty fucking funny…

      Kind of reminds me if you ask a girl (or most people for that matter) what kind of music they listen to..”Oh, I listen to everything.” hmm alright then (turns up Decrepit Birth)…except everything in most cases means everything BUT metal. I don’t give a shit if a girl of mine listens to metal or not, but she gotta respect it!

      • Anthony

        When anyone says “I listen to everything”, male or female, that pretty much means they listen to anything that’s top 40 whether it’s rap, pop, or radio friendly rock. So metal, punk, underground hip hop, industrial, electronic rock, classical, jazz, blues aren’t included in “everything”

        • Nicolas

          I say “I listen to everything” because if a I say that i like (mostly) metal people look me like a freak, or inmature. They listen, and like, a lot of shitty music because is on the radio, and pretend that are listening good things (no critical sense), then I’m the inmature. But is not only with metal, to a lesser extent happens with the other music that is not top40 (or too noisy).

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Murphy/1037267155 Ian Murphy

            Nicolas has it %100. Someone who says ‘I listen to everything’ or ‘I listen to anything’ means ‘I have no critical taste whatsoever, so I like anything that has a little bit of a tune that comes on the radio’. I have no respect for this response.

        • Spanky

          This.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

    Wait, who is the guy on the t-shirt with the 666 on his forehead? My first thought was Jerry Seinfeld, but idk.

  • Pete

    Agree. a million percent. and if you ever “grow out of” metal, you were a fuckin poser in the first place.

    • http://multimedia-ami.deviantart.com amelia

      Yeah, a ton of adults tell me (upon seeing one of my more famous band’s shirts) how much they loved that band when they were a teenager. Then they proceed to laugh about how childish it was and tell the rents not to worry, I’ll grow out of it within a year. Last time I checked, it’s been much longer than that, fuckers.

      • Spanky

        Ditto. In my high school/college days, I used to get that nonsense all the time. “Oh, don’t worry, you’ll grow out of it”, “Oh, you’ll get over metal when you get a bit older”, etc., etc. I’m now in my early 30s, married (my wife loves metal, but also listens to a lot of pop), have a professional career, and still play in a band and go to just about every good show that comes to town.

        @Pete:

        I couldn’t agree more. In school, I knew a lot of kids who listened to metal just to be “different”, but gave it up for Top 40 as soon as they graduated. Conforming by non-conforming is a common thing, when it comes to highly impressionable teenagers.

  • Kiki

    In all fairness, it was my boyfriend’s listening to metal that got him a first date to begin with!

    Up until that point in the conversation, he was “uninteresting man who is hitting on me”. He mentioned metal and became “interesting man who might go to gigs with me and probably won’t complain about my CD collection”. It was a much better start than a tacky pick-up line or having lots of money or something.

  • kmfcm

    truth

  • SourDeez

    Are you telling me grindcore shows aren’t great places to pick up girls? Damn, so that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years.

  • Ron Deuce

    Guess I have a keeper because my wife tolerates me listening to grind and other assorted noise whenever we are in the car together.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Noto/1173214408 Anthony Noto

    Axl you are my hero. This this this.

  • pigchop

    hey! That would make for a cool contest at metalsucks. Come up with captions for that drawing.

  • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com/ Alkahest

    The fuck is wrong with the guy on the right?

    I keep staring at it and I can’t figure out how the arms are supposed to be positioned.

  • jeff

    once you like metal it stick with you forever.

  • Daniel

    I want the t-shirt

  • Walker

    My girlfriend completely despises what I listen to, but as long as I keep it to myself and not force her to listen to it, she doesn’t really care. When in the car together it tends to be bands we both enjoy that are not metal but also not the poppy shit she likes. Its called compromise.

    • Blargh

      Yes sir. If your chick likes pop or any other “listenable” music listen to Spoon. Well crafted tunes and no pop pandering bullshit…Spoon is a tough band to hate.

  • SourDeez

    If you listen to nothing but metal, that could be a problem with the ladies. When I have girls over or in the car I like to throw on some chilled out music like Burial or Massive Attack, maybe even some Miles Davis. The key is just to have something relaxing in your repertoire. Then when she’s gone, throw on the Pig Destroyer and celebrate the fact that you just got laid.

  • yzermantiis

    I have never dated a girl who has had a problem with my musical taste. I balance my metal out with post rock and indie stuff, because too much of anything is a bad thing……

  • S.

    I guess I’m pretty goddamned lucky then…’cause my girlfriend actually got *me* into Pig Destroyer!

    • Cryzthormagnusian

      Keeper.

      • Shinaain

        Indeed.

  • skullsession

    Whatever. You guys don’t even HAVE girlfriends…. that asian gal humping the guitar on Metal Injection doesn’t count.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Murphy/1037267155 Ian Murphy

    As someone who just became single this really hits home. My ex was actually pretty broadminded about music (she liked the more accessible extreme metal acts like Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir and Satyricon).

    It’s a big part of my life and I take it pretty seriously, so its definitely coming up on the first date.

  • Kuranes

    My wife brought my iPod instead of hers to the gym by accident the other day. There was not much on it she could listen to.

  • prettyinblack

    For me it would be like:

    Guy: ZOMG! Did you hear about this band She and Him (or insert popular indie rock band name here)? They’re A-MAY-Zing!!

    Me: Yeah, and they suck HORRIBLY.

    *pulls imaginary lever that opens the trap door for said boy to fall into bottomless pit*

    I can’t say I really like indie rock that much.

  • Oldestfart

    42, still into Napalm Death/Crowbar/Motorhead, 2 kids, full time job, wife not a metalhead, never had probs with that. Any more questions? :-)

    • Curmudgeon

      Hello me, 15 years in the future.

  • derek

    i need to stop saying I listen to everything. Upon reading these comments, everything means top 40. see.. when I state that I listen to everything. EVERYTHING is entitled. from jazz, classical, pop, black metal, post metal, prog metal, prog rock, indie rock, indie, folk, dubstep, trance, electronica, grind, IDM, death metal, death grind, old school death metal, brutal death metal, slam, gore grind, blues, showtunes, soundtracks, atmospheric, ambient, singer songwriter, easy listening. I cant POSSIBLY name all the genres. because on a whole I like music. I am a musician. and I appreciate and listen to ALL GENRES OF MUSIC. zuehl happens to be on my list with black metal right now. not that trve kvlt shit. yes your cooler than me. you have lo fi and you sing about satan. seriously. didnt like watain LOVED DISSECTION.

    deal with it.

    and I always ask a girl what she listens to before asking her name. I was single for a while. but recently found someone who honestly likes the music I do. she wont give me back half my cds. intronaut, dillinger, between the buried and me, and nachtmystium…

    this comic still is amazing

    U MAD

  • cacaconstructor

    Fuck human contact, get a fleshlight. Dates will be cheaper.

  • Shinaain

    Apparently, the music I listen to is but one item on a long list of interests that seem to emasculate most men, so I can certainly relate to this…. sort of?

    True story: My last ex thought Korn and ICP were “fucking brutal.” I thought his musical preferences were simply the by-products of an unfortunate and deprived upbringing in the rural Midwest; also, he had mommy issues. I thought could save him, but now I realize I shouldn’t have wanted to – I should’ve just stuck with my hand.

  • facemelt

    As a member of the female species, I find this post highly offensive. Just kidding. I realize I am an anomaly. My bf likes Belle & Sebastian; I like Meshuggah. He doesn’t like listening to metal that much (though I am turning him on to some gateway bands), but he *definitely* likes the fact that I listen to it and dress like a hesher. So you know who wears the pants in the relationship.

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    This is why my girlfriend (and eventually wife) is a fan of metal, so we never have to come to this situation.

    Give up my metal? Fuck that!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sara-Petrocelli/519197405 Sara Petrocelli

    Being a chick that’s into metal, I kinda get this. Most dudes are intimidated by a legit metal chick.

  • 3771

    You’re totally right, you can definitely see the change on a dude’s face on mention of the word “metal” when you get to tell him about your musical tastes. Non-metal guys like to say we must be “a bit crazy to be able to enjoy such fucked-up music”; and there goes the “crazy in the head, crazy in the bed” adage, which leads some dudes to generally think of metal girls as insatiable sluts (haha).
    On a more serious aspect, I think metal chicks are perceived as the opposite of those “OMG, broke my nail” divas. To the non-metal guy, we are more like tough-ass girls who don’t take shit from anyone; so this might be the reason why we tend to seem intimidating to some “regular” dudes; they assume we’ve got what it takes to kick their asses if they mess with us. Not really a bad thing, if you ask me!