Sign Our Petition to Have Chad Kroeger Neutered and Avril Lavigne Spayed

Earlier today, we had the displeasure — nay, the PRIVILEGE — of hearing Avril Lavigne’s cover of the song “How You Remind Me,” originally recorded by her husband Chad Kroeger’s band, Nickelsuck. And after spending several hours marveling over this most dastardly and despicable of recordings, we knew what we had to do: everything in our power to make sure that these two talentless ass clowns never procreate.

That’s why we’ve started The Petition to Have Chad Kroeger Neutered and Avril Lavigne Spayed. We are being merciful and allowing them to keep their vocal chords and various other appendages, so they can continue to make their horrible, horrible music. But we demand that each of them represent the conclusion of their respective wretched lines.

So, please, sign our petition, and ask your friends to sign, too. Once we’ve received 10,000 signatures, we’ll forward the petition to the Canadian government, who, surely, will have no choice but to be reasonable and capture and drug the couple and then perform the procedure while they’re unconscious.

Thank you for joining us in the forwarding of this important cause.