Shit That Comes Out Today

Sh*t That Comes Out Today: August 13, 2013

0

No Sir The Future Is Bright

Sup y’all. So small STCOT lists are still good STCOT lists! We don’t discriminate here. We’re an equal opportunity metal blog! Everyone has an equal opportunity to either be crucified or held up high for ultimate worship. So click all the links below to see who’s god for this week.

·

Black Water Rising Pissed and DrivenBlack Water Rising
Pissed And Driven (Metalville)
On a playlist with: A fratboy lovechild of Black Label Society and Stone Sour
Listen Pissed And Driven full stream (listen) “Show No Mercy” (here) “Last Man Standing” (here)

Say you! Yes, you. Are you tired of boring old radio shit and want some new radio shit? Well check out P***** And Driven! They’re going to “show no mercy” until they’re faced with the “last man standing,” who will most likely either be asleep knees locked like a horse or tits-drunk on canned Bud Light w/ Lime. Now, you say, “omg DLR, don’t hate so much, these guys aren’t so bad.” To that I say, “tune your ass into 1:30 on ‘Last Man Standing.'” I apologize in advance for the pain it causes you. OMG THEN THE GUITAR SOLO. Mad wicked tight.

·

We Butter The BRead With butter GoldkinderWe Butter The Bread With Butter
Goldkinder (12th Street)
On a playlist with: Rammstein’s derpy cousin
Listen “Alles Was Ich Will” “Pyroman & Astronaut” “Das Uhrwerk” (here)

Okay guise, I wrote that I was okay but disappointed about the first three tracks from the new WBTBWB (above). I bitched about how their old German comedy-metal was always fresh in my ears, and that their newer shit is too serious and spoiled the parade. Well now I have to make  amends. Es tut mir leid. Goldkinder is pretty damn good. The key is to forget about who they were, and just accept today’s WBTBWB: Punchy, upbeat, semi-stylish metal dorks from Berlin belting out positive notes veiled by breakdowns and weird fuckin’ videos. I ain’t mad, but I totes understand if you are.

·

Dead IdiotsDead
Idiots (Eolian)
On a playlist with: Dead idiots
Listen Idiots full stream (here)

“Trip to the brain noise rock.” The first thing I notice about this statement about Dead’s Idiots is that it’s not true. The second thing I notice is that omg I lost my train of thought waffles. Interestingly enough, all the song titles are real-life relatable, especially “Couldn’t Keep His Mouth Shut” and “Bed Bugs.” Because this one time I totally had bed bugs and my reaction was to smash many instruments together to create an incredible whorish supernova of cacophonous obliteration. Maybe I don’t get it because I’m an idiot? Derrr.

·

Panzerchrist The 7th OffensivePanzerchrist
The 7th Offensive (Listenable)
On a playlist with: The Danish military
Listen The 7th Offensive full stream (here)

Dirty, nasty, fuckin’ rotten death metal. Violent shit, actually. There’s a special place in my heart for bands who don’t fuss about with things like dynamism, eclecticism, and vocal ranges wider than fishing line. You can bathe in the simplicity — and sometimes that’s what metal is about, amirite? Those pure feels which some from the most simplified permutations of music making. Banging rocks, grunting, taking dumps in the woods. All those things. By the way, a brown note happens once in The 7th Offensive. See if you can find it. You’ll know when it happens!

·

Serianna Define MeSerianna
Define Me (Bullet Tooth)
On a playlist with: Your angsty teen’s post-angsty older friends’ post-post-angsty band
Listen “Exist To Outlive” (here)

Part of me wonders why I give my time to cookie-cutter post-crab smashcore. The songs are formulaic, the vocals a 2/10 (and that’s generous), the riffage sophomore, and the video naturally has a chick running through the woods. And it’s that last bit which gets me. Somebody please explain to me in the comments what it is about chicks running through forests. Like, where are they going? Who’s chasing them? Do they have to pee really bad?

·

Bent Life Full SkullBent Life
Full Skull EP (6131)
On a playlist with: Alpha & Omega and other greater metallic hardcore bands
Listen “Full Skull” (here)

So lately I’ve been rocking metallic hardcore like a boss. I can’t get enough of it! Bent Life’s newest is pretty good (not Alpha & Omega-good though, they’re my favorites), but I totally accept Full Skull into my gut. It’s how it makes me feel. Pumped up, but not enraged. Jazzed, but not juiced. Shit like that. It’s a positive high, like nomming vitamins with a Red Bull chaser. Okay that’s probably not the best thing for you, but I’d have a beer or two or three or eleven to Full Skull. Keeping it raw and real and straightforward, something which some “other” bands who may or may not be mentioned in this article could use a little of.

·

Psychic Teens ComeOTHER SHIT THAT COMES OUT TODAY

¤ No Sir The Future Is Bright (Twelve Gauge) listen listen
Old Wounds / Trenchfoot split (Melotov) listen
The Pineapple Thief One Three Seven reissue (KScope) listen
» Psychic Teens Come (SRA) listen
Strengthen What Remains Turning A Blind Eye (Blood And Ink) listen

Metal Sucks Greatest Hits