Cinemetal

Everything About A Breach of Silence’s “Night Ranger” Video is the Worst

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Okay so lemme ask you a question. What’s the first thing you think when you see this dude?

greenface cowpoke

‘Cause I straight-up thought he was in blackface. Maybe that’s my fault for watching the video without reading the press release first — if I had, I would have known he’s supposed to have a green face, because he’s undead. Or maybe it’s the director’s fault, for failing to in any way make it clear that the character is a zombie, and for making him look like friggin’ Laurence Olivier in Othello.

olivier othello

In any case, the video only got more confusing as it went along. Some questions I had before the shitty music of Maldeveloped Mitch Lucker Clone and Friends even kicked in:

  • Night Ranger?
  • Sneakers?sneakers in the old west
  • Did that dude just get shot in the dick?shot in the peen
  • Why is the guard armed with a shotgun running away?use your gun dummy
  • Wait, so they pretended to lock this Night Ranger dude up to lure out the bad guys… but did they really need to actually lock him up? Couldn’t they leave the cell unlocked or something in case shit went down? What if the the other dude didn’t get to his cell to unlock him before he was killed? Then everyone would be totally fucked, right?
  • In the last thirty seconds, someone moved the body. But no one wants to mop up the blood?get a mop
  • The bad guys know about Night Ranger, don’t they? That’s why he had to be locked up “to lure them in” — because otherwise they would have stayed away. So why are they all just chilling at the bar when he mosies in? Do they not recongize his green blackface?

And then the actual song kicked in and shit got really bad.

So THEN, when the clip was over, I went back and read the press release, because, y’know, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? And if I had read the press release first, I would have seen the idiocy of this dumb video coming a mile away:

A BREACH OF SILENCE have premiered their ground-breaking new music video for the band’s latest single Night Rider via Bloody-Disgusting.com. The ambitious music video literally puts the viewer ‘in the boots’ of the green-faced undead lead character, and into the action of western-style shootouts, fist fights, and a dramatic showdown.”

Well, a) I don’t think video can be considered “ground-breaking” when someone else has already broken this ground, and b) no, no, no, it absolutely does NOT “literally puts the viewer ‘in the boots’ of the green-faced undead lead character.” I know because I watched the entire video and remained barefoot for the duration of its running time.

The press release then provides this insightful quote from guitarist Mat Cosgrove:

“For the Night Rider video, we wanted to do a really cool story line about a character we created called Night Rider.”

I’m just gonna let that one sink in for a sec.

Cosgrove continues:

“We as a band use this character as a medium to tell our stories, experiences, and learning’s of life. [You don’t need an apostrophe, dingleberry. -AR] The true meaning of the song is that, you can make mistakes, and fail at things, but it’s the mistakes and failings that make you who you are. The Night Rider is a vigilante of sorts, he is initially arrested by the law, but when some local bad guys shoot up the town and gun down the sheriff and his deputies, he’s released from prison to carry out justice and uphold the law.”

Wait… so the good guys weren’t in on the plan? So that one guy released Night Ranger on his own, without discussing it with any of his allies first? Why? Doesn’t he think Night Ranger is a bad guy, too?

Also, “he is initially arrested by the law”… as opposed to being arrested by…?

Also also, he is “arrested by the law,” but then released “to uphold the law”? Did anyone fucking read this before it went out???

Anyway, here’s the ridiculous goddamn video. It’s so fucking dumb.

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