MetalSucks

So apparently Ozzfest is coming back this summer, and is coming back as a traveling tour again (as opposed to the one-off fest it was in 2008). And that’s all well and good, only… who’s gonna be on the bill?

Mayhem, which is basically Ozzfest 2.0, has already scooped up a lot of big-name bands for the summer, including many who have played multiple past Ozzfests – namely Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Shadows Fall and Hatebreed, the latter of whom I think have been on something like 90% of all Ozzfests ever.

Add to that other Ozzfest alum like Chimaira, In This Moment and Norma Jean, and some bands the kids today all seem to like, such as Winds of Plague and They Who Shall Not Be Named, and, well, that’s a whole bunch of potential mainstage and second stage draws right there.

Then there’s the mini-fests like Summer Slaughter. I can’t tell you which bands we already know are booked for some of these tours without betraying a lot of people’s confidence, but I can tell you that some great bands are now no longer available for Ozzfest.

And, oh yeah, Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament are now doing their American Carnage tour in the summer, so they’re out.

So who’s left? After the jump, I’m going to play my favorite game: it’s called “over-think about something incredibly unimportant.”

Before we proceed, it’s worth noting that I’m going to try and be semi-realistic when moving forward with some barely-educated guesses about who’ll be playing Ozzfest. If a band already has summer tour dates booked, I’m going to assume they’re not avail, although I acknowledge that they could cancel those dates in favor of playing for a bigger crowd. And I’m not even going to bother with bands like Pig Destroyer, Sigh, and Salome – bands that will play Ozzfest right around the time Joey Belladonna’s solo band plays four sold-out headlining shows at Giants Stadium. Also, obviously not all of these bands are gonna end up on the bill – these are just bands I think could end up there.

And so, without further bullshit…

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Howard Zinn, Zelda Rubinstein, and J.D. Salinger all died within twenty-four hours of another. That’s crappy on all fronts, but right now I’d like to concentrate on Salinger.

On the one hand, it’s very sad that he’s dead because I happen to think he was a brilliant writer; on the other hand, it’s not like he’d written anything in a long, long, long time anyway, so it doesn’t feel like we’re really losing anything; on the other hand, his son Matt was one of the frat douches in Revenge of the Nerds and played the title role in the straight-to-video live-action Captain America movie, which is to say he and Mr. Salinger’s other remaining kin folk will almost certainly sell away his father’s ideals ASAP. Look for Catcher in the Rye 3-D, starring Zac Efron as Holden Caufield, to hit screens sometime in 2011.

Now that that’s off my chest, here’s a recap of what happened in the metal world this week:

• We definitely spoke to Lamb of God’s Chris Adler and think we spoke to the guy who may or may not actually be Andrew W.K.
• Eyal gave us a recap of NAMM, and The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley told us how he got into metal.
• Norway finally caught up with the nu-metal trend.
• The Insane Clown Posee have made multiple feature-length films. Gee, I wonder how we didn’t know that?
• Footage of a new Cynic song!!!
• Also, this.

Alright, it’s fucking freezing as fuck out there, but I’m gonna try and get my ass out and enjoy what’s left of my youth anyways. If you live in the NYC area, don’t forget that The Austerity Program play this Sunday January 31, in Brooklyn at Public Assembly (70 N 6th St) with White Suns, Immanent Voiceless, Daniel Malinsky. This your chance to thank Justin for all the awesome writing he did for us, or to tell him off for all the terrible writing he did for us, depending on your perspective.

See ya Monday!!!

-AR

…this guy:

Obviously, I’m lying. But I saw this video on Invisible Oranges (as part of a piece in which Cosmo Lee wonders “What is it with bassists and pigtails?”), and… well, if I didn’t share it, I just wouldn’t be doing my job.

-AR

I’m not going to give you Chris Adler’s resumé the way I might in a normal interview intro. If you’re reading MetalSucks, you either know who Chris Adler is, or you’re my mom and you’re just trying to be supportive. Rather, I want to tell you a quick story about my experience interviewing Adler.

When I called him for our scheduled interview, he apologized and asked if he could call me back in a little while. “I’m just sitting my daughter down for dinner,” he tells me. When I later told him that I’m impressed that he actually still sits his daughter down for dinner, he chuckled and replied, “Yeah, dude, when I’m home, I’m totally Mr. Mom.”

And that’s Chris Adler in a nutshell: one of the most accomplished drummers from one of the biggest bands in modern metal is actually a really down-to-earth dude. And that’s not just hype; this is the second time I’ve spoken to Adler, and the second time I’ve walked away with the distinct impression that he is a sincerely nice guy who has managed to keep his head on his shoulders despite all his success. Isn’t that a nice change of pace for once?

After the jump, read my chat with Adler about this Sunday’s Grammy Awards, touring with Metallica, what the future holds for Lamb of God, and, oh yeah, the MetalSucks comments section.

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The reader known as “culturevulture” e-mailed us to tell us he just this band Diamond Plate open for Behemoth – and apparently they killed.

I believe it. Bassist/singer Jon Macak’s choked vocals take some getting used to, but the music won me over right away. This is thrash that never sacrifices complexity for simple speed; it’s bludgeoning without being dumb. I’d wager that Justice-era Metallica has been a big influence on this band, and that they love Machine Head’s The Blackening; I think they’d seem perfectly at home on a tour with Revocation, even if they’re not quite yet at that band’s level of kick-assery.

Check out Diamond Plate on MySpace; I was especially impressed with the song “Relativity.”

-AR

Suckalo Adam Ellsworth sent us the below photo of a painting a friend made for him. That’s a good friend – the painting is apparently an EPIC 30” x 30” without the frame. It portrays, in Adam’s words, “Dave Mustaine fighting a manticore with James Hetfield’s face while Vic Rattlehead cuts off Kirk Hammett’s hair in the background.”

And there’s the Metallica/Megadeth feud summed up in a nutshell. A beautifully rendered, absolutely haunting nutshell.

If Dave Mustaine doesn’t make that the cover of the next Megadeth album, then he must be high.

-AR

We’ve all been there. Tensions are high in some packed, sweaty venue, sparked by feverish excitement and the potential for violence. These people paid good money to enjoy some type of cathartic release. The frontman for whatever hard-nu-death-crab-metal-core outfit is brazen and demanding. Can you believe this shit? You PAID to be entertained, and this guy is telling YOU what to do! The speech goes something like this: “I want everybody in this room moving! Front to back, side to side, NO ONE STANDS STILL! When this part kicks in, I want total [Insert destructive word here like "chaos," "mayhem," or "bedlam" if you're witty]. If the person next to you isn’t moving, MAKE THEM MOVE!” Than, if the action is not adequate, this screamer/pep rally organizer calls YOU some variation of “pussy” or “faggot” or really anything to make you feel like a soft, womanly bitch of a man in order to get in that pit and kick another grown man in the face, all in the spirit of making this band look like they are awesome. But then something happens, as if the air is sucked out of the room at the moment of impact – when those glorious staccato chugs kick in, the crowd is almost always powerless to its charms regardless of the obvious lack of substance. Like junk food and reality TV, we have a love affair with breakdowns.

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I didn’t buy Guitar Hero: Van Halen because it was a continuation of VH’s ongoing efforts to try and make people forget that Michael Anthony was ever in the band – never mind that Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen wasn’t even born yet when the band’s best albums were made. That being said, I think modern Metallica is pretty lame, too, and I enjoyed their edition of GH. And I’d be totally down for a Megadeth version of the game, even if, once again, there would be some question of which ‘Deth line-up was portrayed (I assume it would be the current one… is Mustaine cool enough to let Marty Friedman, Dave Ellefson, Nick Menza, et. al. be unlockables?).

And I may get my wish! Metal Insider reports that Mustaine is now gloating about taking meetings with the makers of GH for a Megadeth-themed version of the game… or possibly something more. Via Megadeth.com:

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A lot has been made of the “big four” shows happening this Summer in Europe, and with good reason: Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Anthrax were some of the biggest and most influential metal bands of their era. Somewhat miraculously they’re all still around touring and making new music today.

While seeing old favorites live is a no-brainer, new music from legacy acts isn’t necessarily. Anthrax haven’t released new music since 2003, so for the sake of this poll we’re going to include Testament as an honorary “big four” member (and really, shouldn’t they be part of a “big five”?). So, of Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Testament, consider which band is still putting out the best music today.

Of the aforementioned bands’ most recent releases, which is the best?

I write books and also for MetalSucks so it’s about time I reviewed some metal books. I’ll start with a few rock autobiographies that have been out for awhile. First up is Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe and his needle gazing memoir The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star.

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I know that Cristina Scabbia hates me ever since I admitted that I’d like to see her naked (This is such an admission? Every heterosexual male who’s ever laid on eyes on her has wanted to see her naked!), but I’d like to state for the record once again that I am, in fact, a Cristina Scabbia fan who thinks very much of her singing ability, in addition to the fact that I’d like to see her naked.

To wit: Cristina covered Metallica’s “And Nothing Else Matters” at Christmas Metal Symphony 2009 in Tilburg last month, and I really, really dig her rendition. Here’s a good example of a cover that isn’t totally awful. Her voice sounds great, and her emotional investment in the song seems sincere. In fact, I like this better than that version of “A Tout Le Monde” she did with Dave Mustaine a few years back. And, bonus: I’m not sure who the other dudes in the band are, but she left Male Vocalist from Lacuna Coil at home for a change! Hoo-ray!

-AR

This tip courtesty MetalSucks Maniac Josh Kidd.

A couple weeks ago, I did an interview with Metal Injection for a retrospective on the highlights, trends, and cultural significance of the heavy music scene from an insider’s perspective concerning the last ten years. Near the end of the interview, I was asked if there were any sub-genres or trends that I didn’t like, or that seemed to get on my nerves. I thought about it for a minute, and generally annoying things like nu-metal or screamo or stale metalcore just seemed obvious and an easy target, when something dawned on me. I was generally annoyed by the whole ReThrash scene.

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Last week, during one of my daily perusals of this very blog, I came across a rather scathing recounting of Killswitch Engage’s self-titled album, which came out earlier this year. This caught me a bit off guard, as I considered it to be one of my favorite albums of the year and a step in the right direction from Daylights Dies, which was at first very disappointing but grew on me after some time. I was even more surprised when I saw that most user comments tended to agree with the blog entry.

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Looks like we’re going to fucking Poland. From Metallica’s website:

Not quite a proper tour, but still… fuckin’ Poland…

-AR

Thanks to reader Edward Stevens for the tip!

UK heavy-techno band Pendulum — who really fucking impressed me the one time I saw them live — have posted a remix of Metallica’s “Master of Puppets.” Pendulum have always tried to fit into the metal / hard rock spheres with mixed reactions… their techno does definitely incorporate elements of both as does their live show, but I can definitely see how they’d grate on die-hard metal fans. Seriously though, if you just open your mind a little any metalhead should enjoy the spectacle this is Pendulum’s live show. If you happen to be at a festival where they’re playing and they’re not on at the same same as, say, Opeth, go out of your way to check them out… it’ll be well worth it for you.

Here’s their remix of “Master of Puppets,” which I originally found posted at UK Metal Underground.

-VN

The good thing about being Rolling Stone is that even though you haven’t been relevant in twenty years, there’s some prestige attached to your name, so you can get famous people whose publicists don’t know any better to do shit for you. The glorified glossy toilet paper’s latest coup is getting a bunch of celebs to list their favorite albums and songs of the decade.

I imagine this will cause a million times more arguing than the lists published by any magazine or website staff, because if frail egos collapse under the weight of differing opinions from writers and other “experts,” than I can only imagine how people will react to finding out that Kirk Hammett likes Sinéad O’Connor more than Meshuggah.

Check out some of the lists from Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett, and Tom Morello after the jump.

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Our friends at Noisecreep must really enjoy getting yelled at by internet trolls, because now they’ve gone and published a list of the Best Metal Bands of the Decade. Like the other lists they’ve published as of late, this one was compiled by polling “a panel of music insiders,” which included yours truly. Look, ma! I’m an “insider!” You’re gonna make it after alllllll…

Anyways, I voted for four of the ten bands that made the final list, and I realize now that there’s one I didn’t vote for that was a major oversight on my part, so I’m glad they made it on there even without my help. And I think it’s a pretty solid line-up overrall. I suspect that more than a few of you will shit your pants over the inclusion of Slipknot, but I think Slipknot might be one of the most famous metal band of the past ten years that wasn’t already firmly established prior to 2000 (e.g., Slayer, Tool, etc.) and didn’t spend the decade sucking down goat semen (e.g., Metallica, Korn, etc.). By the way, I didn’t vote for Slipknot, I’m just saying I don’t think they deserve all the shit they take. Just some of the shit they take.

But I digress. Read the list here, and then come back and bitch and moan because Yog Sogolgoth (or the so-underground-no-one-knows-who-the-fuck-they-are tr00 kvlt band of your choice) didn’t make the cut.

-AR

Any site that lovingly mocks metal is automatically a friend of MetalSucks. Music satire paper The Umpteenth Times, which I just discovered last night — billing itself as “Music News That’s Fit to Fake” — apparently has a bunch of metalhead writers in their midst. Recent satire pieces have Anthrax being vaccinated for H1N1, Dave Mustaine winning the Mega Millions, and this gem about Metallica sell-out denial:

Burlington, VT—According the results of a study conducted at the University of Vermont at Burlington, 1 out of every 10 Metallica fans still refuses to admit the band sold out and no longer have the musical vitality they once possessed. 23,000 fans overall were surveyed and findings showed that 230 of them were still under the impressions that the band had the “musical goods,” as the researchers stated.

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2009 is an awesome year to be Robb Flynn or anyone in Machine Head. Your band’s been touring non-stop for two and a half years on the well-deserved critical and commercial success of The Blackening, all without doing a single U.S. headline run. You’ve opened arenas for Metallica, huge theaters for Megadeth and Slayer, played on one of the biggest U.S. touring festivals, and quite literally traversed the world several times over. Not bad… not bad at all.

At the start of their U.S. tour with Megadeth, Machine Head’s publicist contacted us about interviewing Robb. The guy’s a character, The Blackening was fantastic, and it’d been almost a year and a half since we last spoke with anyone in the band (guitarist Phil Demmel on the 2008 Rockstar Mayhem Tour), so we figured we may as well. Crazy as it is that the Machine Head machine is still heading on an album released in 2007… it’s true, and they’re not even slowing down.

After the jump, read my full chat with Robb. We spent a whole lot of time talking about things other than Machine Head; the business-like nature of touring with Megadeth (as of interview time, he hadn’t once seen Mustaine in person on the entire tour!), the down-to-earth nature of hanging out with his heroes in Metallica, mentoring the young lads of Suicide Silence, and the always entertaining subject of the constant feuding between Slayer, Metallica and Megadeth. We also chatted about Machine Head’s constant touring — a dream come true for Robb — and about what the future might hold for the band, including their next album (writing has begun). And wouldn’t you know it, Robb reads MetalSucks!

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Way back before Death Magnetic came out I observed that the album’s cover looked like a big, hairy vagine. I wasn’t alone. Naturally there was an entire army of like-minded Internet snobs ready with their super-soakers full of Haterade, but it turns out that the members of Metallica noticed the similarities too. In the “Extras” section of their recently releases live DVD Francais Pour Une Nuit, the members of Metallica were asked to comment on the matter.

I find it amusing that each band member’s personality really shows through their answers; Rob tries to paint the picture of a decision made by a band with “mystique” (despite the fact that he probably had zero input in the album cover), James is all “whatever you want it be,” and Lars frames it as a work of art while being the only band member who actually uses the word “pussy.” Love it. Where’s Kirk? I would’ve LOVED to hear his answer.

-VN

[via Blabbermouth]