This mornings I wants tartines. Tartines with mustards. And crepes with nutellas. Yums yums.

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Todays I ams havings dim sums for brunch. I knows the Chineses are different from the Japaneses, but as my daddys used to say, wes all pinks ons the insides.

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Poached eggs over salmons on Engilsh muffins isn’t as easys to makes as its seems. I looks in the cooks books, I thinks, “Oh, this is simples.” No. Much more epics than at first appears. But worths the efforts, y’knows?

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Sometimes it’s goods just to have fruits for brunch. Fruits salads.

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Dis mornings I learns the hards ways: turkey saugsages don’t tastes like reals saugsages, y’knows?

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Chocolate chips pancake. Black coffee. Burnt toasts with butters. No fruits. Empty calories ist krieg.

Speakings of “Empty”: this ist inspired by my friends, Satan Rosenbloom. May it sends you to an early graves.

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Dis mornings, I wants chocolate chips pancake for brunch. Dats maybes more sugar thans any man shoulds have.

Watain ist more ebil than any mans should have. Lots of peoples think Sworn to the Dark ist the best black metal albums of 2007, eef not de best albums od 2007, periods. All I knows ist, ist reminds me I wants black coffee to go with my chocolate chips pancake.

Watain, “Sworn to the Dark” – from Sworn to the Dark (2007)

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Brunch ist ebil. Ist naht breakfasts, ist naht lunch. Ebil! Drink ur coffees black ‘n’ ur eggs scrambled. I made you bacons, too, but then I eated it.

But I did saves you the Mayhem. De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas ist ebil, toos, likes brunch. Two band members deaded before the albums even came out, like. Dead himself and Euronymous released this statement:

“We have no vocalist anymore!!! DEAD killed himself two weeks ago! It was really brutal, first he cut open all the arteries in the wrists and then he had blown off his brains with a shotgun. I found him and it looked fucking grim, the upper half of his head was all over the room and the lower part of the brain had fallen out of the rest of his head and down on the bed. I of course grabbed my camera and made some photos, we’ll use them in the next Mayhem LP. I and HELLHAMMER were so lucky that we found two big pieces of his skull we have hung on neclaces as a memory.

DEAD killed himself because he lived only for the true old black metal scene and lifestyle. It means black clothes, spikes, crosses and so on… We must take this scene to what it was in the past! DEAD died for this cause and now I have declared WAR! I’m angry but at the same time I have to admit it was interesting to examine a human brain in rigor mortis. Death to false Black Metal and Death Metal! Also to the trendy hardcore people…AAARRGGHH!”

His English ist good, yeah? But then Varg Vikernes stabbed him 23 times, and he deaded, too. Fook, that’s ebil.

This is “Freezing Moon” from De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. While you listen, I will go and gets more coffees… I drinked all of mines.

Mayhem, “Freezing Moon” – from De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas (1994)

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