Welcome to a new feature here at MetalSucks, “Question of the Week.” Each week (duh) we’ll ask our staff a question (double duh) based around a recent hot button issue.

Unfortunately, this week there really were no hot button issues, so inspired by the Ozzfest “Unholy Matrimony” VIP package, we decided to ask our writers a silly question instead:

If you were going to be married at a metal concert, which show would it be and why?

Their answers after the jump.

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As some of you may know, my favorite 19 year-old hottie isn’t Demi Lovato, it’s the internet’s own Cam Argon, better known as Big Chocolate. He’s the vocalist for Disfiguring the Goddess, Abominable Putridity, Burning The Masses, a DJ, and a criminal justice major. For more background on Big C, check out the interview I did with him on Metal Inquisition a while ago — otherwise, here’s some stuff off his YouTube channel.

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…then it’s gonna be one of the awesomer releases of the spring. Check it out:

Holy shit, I love that. It’s just as awesome as the cover art for the band’s previous release, Myocardial Infraction, which has been a cornerstone of my own personal rotation ever since reader Parker Werley recommended the band to us back in January.

The Farthest Reaches comes out April 13 on the newly-formed Good Fight Music, and was produced by Zack Ohren. Ohren has produced, mixed, and/or mastered such albums as Suffocation’s Blood Oath, Decrepit Birth’s Diminishing Between Worlds, Arsonists Get All the Girls’ The Game of Life, and all three releases by All Shall Perish, so his involvement can only be a good thing.

I can’t fucking wait to hear this record. If you’re still not familiar with Son of Aurelius, get off your ass and check out their MySpace page.

-AR

After enduring the shittiness that is Suffokate, I made the following declaration:

Suffocation is far too legendary a band for anyone to use any variation on the word “suffocate” ever again. I don’t care how you spell it. Not helping: that Suffocation are still active, still awesome, and probably more talented than 99% of their death metal peers from any generation, ever.

And now it’s come to my attention that there’s a Portugese band called Suffochate.

Seriously.

That doesn’t even make any fucking sense. And it might be the lamest band name ever. I bet these guys get a lot of people going “What’s Suffo-chate,” pronouncing a hard “H.” It’s like in that Tom Hanks movie, That Thing You Do!, where the band calls themselves “The Oneders,” to be pronounced “one-ders,” and everyone thinks they’re “the oh-need-ers.” It’s just an awful, awful moniker to have chosen.

They’re actually better than Suffokate, if only because they play generic death metal, as opposed to generic deathcore. But still… give me a break, dudes. There are thousands, if not millions, of evil-sound words that don’t already sound like the name of a legendary band that’s actually good. GET A FUCKING DICTIONARY AND CHOOSE A DIFFERENT NAME, YOU NIT WITS. Trying to make a pun like that only makes you seem even sillier.

-AR

Some thoughts:

1. Suffocation is far too legendary a band for anyone to use any variation on the word “suffocate” ever again. I don’t care how you spell it. Not helping: that Suffocation are still active, still awesome, and probably more talented than 99% of their death metal peers from any generation, ever.
2. Why the fuck would you ever spell it “Suffokate?”
3. Having the singer rise out of the water at the beginning of the video doesn’t look cool when you can blatantly see that he was never even fully underwater.
4. If your ear gauges are so big I can stick my fist through them, they’re too big.
5. If the most distinctive thing about your band is that I can stick my first through your singer’s ear gauges, you’re in trouble.

-AR

When DevilDriver front man Dez Fafara called me this past Friday following a tumultuous, multi-day bus ride between stops on the band’s current tour with Suffocation, Goatwhore and Thy Will Be Done, I was expecting him to be an exhausted mess. But a decade and half of the touring life has made him a hardened veteran, and he clearly hasn’t lost any of his passion for playing live – clearly still riding high on the success of 2009′s Pray for Villains, Dez sounded like he was ready to jump on stage at any second. DevilDriver shows are a full-contact sport with Fafara presiding as the main instigator, and it’s clear that the man loves his job.

After the jump, get Dez’s thoughts on this tour, being away from his family while he’s on the road, a preview of the band’s current set list, and some news on the next DevilDriver album,which he hopes to have out by this time next year at latest. Phew!

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Well, I guess Alice in Chains can’t hit a home run every time.

The metal-related iPhone apps thus far – or, at least the ones I’ve seen – have, by and large, sucked. Oddly enough, Metallica, who haven’t released too many products worth owning this (or last) decade, have the best ones: their Live Metallica and Tap Tap Revenge apps are both totally solid. I didn’t get the Suffocation one, but Invisible Oranges’ review didn’t make it sound too appealing.

And now there’s the AIC “Mobile Roadie” app, which, quite frankly, is waste of 99 cents for anyone but the most die-hard (and brain dead) Alice fan. The app allows you to listen to a few songs from the album, which you probably already own; watch some videos, which you a) may have already seen or b) were capable of watching on your iPhone via YouTube anyway; read a bio of the band that is pretty much just a glorified “AIC are awesome” press release; look a discography which would suggest that Black is the band’s debut; get tour dates and news which, again, you could already do on an iPhone; post on a “fan wall;” or play with some art from the Black album booklet. And, seriously, even if you’re high, it’s fun to play with that art for precisely .02 seconds. This shit is lame, lame, lame.

Don’t believe me? Watch the video below. It pretty much demonstrates that your buck would be better spent on almost anything but this app.

If anyone knows of any metal apps that are actually worth a damn, let us know…

-AR

Did you know that only total tool bags don’t like Blood Oath? It’s a fact.

So here’s a new video for a song from that very album – “Cataclysmic Purification.” Suffocation’s one of those bands where I really like watching ‘em play ’cause they’ve got some sick talent, and David Brodsky’s performance footage certainly allows for that – but I also really dig this animation by Tim Kellan. It’s just fucking gross and wicked, both of which seem appropriate for Suffo, doncha think?

Blood Oath is out now on Nuclear Blast.

-AR

If you’ve never seen Suffocation live, well, you need to. Not only do they kill, but Frank Mullen is one of the funniest fucking front men ever.

I haven’t gotten to listen to the band’s new live album (actually recorded in ’05), The Close Of A Chapter: Live In Quebec City, yet, so I don’t know it captures Mr. Mullen in all his gallows humor glory. But the record is now streaming right here, and even if all it does it showcase what a powerful live act this legendary death metallers are, well, that’s reason enough to give it a listen.

The Close Of A Chapter: Live In Quebec City comes out October 27 on Relapse.

-AR

I haven’t done a blog in a while because the last blog I did really got me thinking about the mentality of people in the metal scene. Most particularly, the mentality of shit talking. We’re all guilty of it. I admitted to shit talking Bring Me The Horizon in magazines over in Europe when I was in God Forbid. I never heard them at that point. But now, I dig them and I feel pretty stupid for slagging them.

In my last blog I mentioned my excitement for the band Eryn Non Dae and how I was going to “borrow” some of their ideas for my new project. First of all, my last blog was PACKED with information about band business, touring and juicy tidbits of amazing knowledge :) But, the funny thing about the last blog was this guy ‘Jamie.’ Out of a five hundred word blog, he took the phrase “borrow ideas” and accused me and God Forbid of riding the coat tails of other popular bands. Killswitch was his biggest gripe. Then it was Opeth.

He claimed Gone Forever (2004) was a Killswitch rip and Earthsblood (2009) was an Opeth rip. This type of thing usually doesn’t bother me. In this instance I was fucking bothered. Jamie and I entered into a written brawl about the history of God Forbid and the intentions of our song writing for the last ten fucking years. Why would I waste my time to defend myself from this sort of claim?

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Where the hell does the time go? The year is more than half over already! Sheesh.

ANYWAY, here are, in alphabetical order, albums that have really knocked my socks off so far this year…

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Darkest Hour are currently out on the road doing the MetalSucks co-sponsored Summer Slaughter tour, and they’re doing a video tour diary for our gay lovers at Metal Injection. Check it out below.

It’s good to see that Lonestar is growing his mega-beard back. It’s also good to see his package.

ANYWAY, I’ve seen enough of the touring lifestyle to know that I don’t ever want to go on tour. But then again, it looks like these dudes are having so much fun…

Look for more Darkest Hour tour diaries at Metal Injection throughout the rest of the summer. And you can Summer Slaughter tour dates here. In addition to Darkest Hour you get Suffocation, Necrophagist, Ensiferum, Dying Fetus, Origin, Born of Osiris, Winds of Plague, and a bunch of other cool bands, so definitely check it out!!!

-AR

• Suffocation’s new album, Blood Oath, is streaming here. Our own David Bee Roth called it “the best death metal record released this year,” so ya best check it out. Nuclear Blast will release the album July 7. And don’t forget that Suffocation are one of the headliners on this year’s edition of Summer Slaughter, which we are co-sponsoring. Get tour dates here.
• Infini, the final album from Voivod, is streaming here. It is also, of course, the last recording made by the late Denis “Piggy” D’Amour. Relapse actually released the record yesterday, but if you feel the need to sample before you buy, here’s your shot.

-AR

There’s already enough long winded discussion going on about this list we’re still in the process of revealing, so let this review be one from the Corey Mitchell school of telling it like it is. No hustle.

Blood Oath is the best death metal record released this year and barring something out-left-field and totally unexpected, it’s going to rank up there among the years best.

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How did we miss the fact that Suffocation appeared in a History Channel commercial? Feel free to chime in with “this is old” comments; we know, but it’s still brutal and it’s still hilarious. Thanks to MS Maniac Brock for sending this in.

-VN

Noisecreep have unveiled their list of the Top 10 Death Metal Debut Albums (although the list is in no particular order), courtesy Friend of MetalSucks, Carlos Ramirez.

And for once, I don’t actually have any complaints. The list is pretty good.

That being said, I’m sure you folks will find something to bitch about, so… have at it!!!

-AR

New music that might tickle your pickle…

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Blood Oath comes out July 7 on Nuclear Blast.

-AR

In case that new KSE song was too soft for ya: here’s Suffocation performing a new song, “Mental Hemorrhage,” off their forthcoming album, Blood Oath. I kinda wish it had some faster parts. Other than that, no complaints on my end.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

So the line-up for Summer Slaughter – a.k.a. the big summer package tour that isn’t Ozzfest, Mayhem, Warped, or Sounds of the Underground (R.I.P.) – has been announced, and, pretty much as expected, it’s totally solid. Yes, there are a few bands on the bill I don’t care for (I’m looking at you, Winds of Plague), but the presence of co-headliners Suffocation and Necrophagist, plus Darkest Hour, Origin, Born of Osiris, Dying Fetus and Blackguard pretty much guarantees this will be a day (well, late afternoon at least) worth your time and money. Especially since, unlike the aforementioned summer fests, this one plays smaller venues and comes at a cheaper price.

Also kind of advantageous: you’re basically just dealing with death metal on this tour. So… you pretty much know if you’re the audience or not for this tour.

No dates yet… stay tuned for more details.

-AR