Hair Metal Happy Hour


  • Axl Rosenberg


You know when you know you’ve got too many greatest hits albums? When more than one of them are called Greatest Hits.

And yet Motley Crue are releasing what is, by my count, their fourth greatest hits album, and second entitled Greatest Hits, on November 17 (And that’s not counting the endless re-releases and re-masters and box sets and fuck you, Nikki). And, in case you’re wondering, yes, most of them have more or less the same track list. Because that’s what happens when you’re washed-up: your greatest hits remain the same.

I know that Motley Crue haven’t really recorded anything worth anyone’s time since Dr. Feelgood. (Well, actually, I really like their self-titled album, but since that’s the one they did without Vince Neil, no one seems to count it anymore.) But this is so stupid. Do they really need an excuse to tour that badly? ‘Cause it seems to me that since all anyone wants is to hear them play “Shout at the Devil” and “Home Sweet Home” for the eight gajillionth time, they could pretty much tour and people would show up (especially as long as they keep bringing along other terrible but well-selling bands like Godsmack, Hinder, and Saliva).

Seriously, somebody please just use Mick Mars to club the rest of the band to death already. They’re out of control and they must be stopped.


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Metal Sucks Greatest Hits