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GWAR IS MOTHERF*CKIN’ HOT INSIDE THE WHITE RABBIT

130

Gwar/Mutiny Within @ White Rabbit

San Antonio, Texas – June 7, 2010

Due to an unfortunate pre-show fluidity accident involving my good friend, Brian, and my alleged miniature Dachshund, Tamale, I missed out on all but two songs of Mutiny Within’s set. I was actually looking forward to seeing the band and enjoyed what I did see. I will make sure to catch them on the rebound in the near future.

Of course, no one really cares about opening bands when it comes to Gwar. In the midst of celebrating their 25-year reign of destruction over you puny Earthlings, Gwar is tighter, heavier, and funnier than ever. Instead of being relegated to the bargain bin of heavy metal wash-ups, Gwar has miraculously leaped to the forefront of true heavy metal entertainment spectacle.

Over the years, Gwar has been a visual feast for gorehounds, goofy monster fans, and metalheads who don’t take themselves too seriously. The beauty of this beast nowadays, is that they spend as much time on their songwriting craft as they do on their meticulously detailed costumes. And we, their puny minions, are all the better for it.

Gwar warmed up the crowd with an extended video that was almost impossible to see, as it was displayed on the White Rabbit’s stage back wall and, unfortunately, blocked by JiZMak Da Gusha’s drum kit. Furthermore, the audio quality was poor and practically inaudible. I guess luke-warmed up would be a better description.

All was forgiven once the mighty force from Antarctica strolled upon the stage fronted by FoxNews correspondent and MetalSucks contributor Oderus Urungus, and former Rigor Mortis bassist and proud Texan, Casey Orr, AKA Beefcake the Mighty.

The band pounded out “Metal Metal Land” minus their infamous alien squirt guns. As a frequent Gwar customer, I decided it would be safe to venture close to the stage and not get drenched in GwarGoo. Silly me. By song number two, “Lords and Masters,” a GooGun was wheeled out and the spraying commenced. The entirety of the White Rabbit virtually erupted as two slippery pits broke out, the folks in the middle began pogoing, and various four- and five-year-old kids threw the goat astride their parents’ shoulders.

What followed was your usual Gwar spectacle – a Michael Jackson baby-fucker face peel; an Obama decapitation Al Qaeda-style; and a silly battle with one of the band’s more lame stage additions, Cardinal Syn, who looks like a cross between Ultra-Man, a Transformer, and the Transamerica Building. A more appealing addition is the newest Destructo, Sawborg, who literally handles many of the stage kills, as well as providing a nice comic foil to the always brilliant Dave Brockie as Oderus.

Oderus won the San Antonio crowd over when he declared that there were only two things that matter: “It’s always motherfuckin’ hot at the White Rabbit!,” and “Gwar don’t give a fuck!” The sweaty, now tie-dyed crowd pumped their collective fist, resumed their push pits, and generally rocked out all night to such classics as “Tormentor,” “Womb with a View,” and the newer track off of 2009’s Lust in Space, “Let Us Slay.”

And slay they did.

It’s hard to imagine that after 25 years, and at least a dozen shows for me personally, Gwar keep firing along on all cylinders. Indeed, they sound better now in 2010 than they did the first time I saw them in 1990. Of course, I am sure it is exactly as the prophetic Oderus Ungerus would have predicted all those years ago.

Now, if they would only bring back Slymenstra Hymen, all would be right in the world.

-CM

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