Hipsters Out Of Metal!

HOW TO ANNOY VARG

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As far as I can tell, intellectual racist types just love to lure accommodating non-idiots into passionate arguments. Forever citing research both arcane and mainstream, these misguided lunkheads are awesome at wearing down the most patient conversant. It’s always “Oh you don’t get it, man. The Jews are responsible for this. The Blacks are more likely to that. Illegals from Mexico are just waiting for the right moment to blah blah blah. You don’t even know!” Yawn. Why subscribe to a belief system that could be logically disproved by a reasonably sober pre-teen and then act all civilized about it? That’s like doing a PhD thesis on your shameful third-grade pants-shitting episode. What a waste. To disarm these fools, who seem goofy even compared to their frothing toothless hillbilly counterparts, the most effective weapon is laughter. Howling, sputtering laughter. I’m giggling even now!

And that’s why I hope someone has acquainted silly-billy Varg Vikernes of Burzum with the “Burzum Marley” split by Brazil’s Mukeka Di Rato (with Hero Dishonest of Finland). I haven’t tracked down the tune  — a bud in Brazil assures me it’s both black metal and reggae — but the cover art (above) is like freakin’ Nobel Prize-level awesomeness. It’s a total negation of Vikernes’ entire life right there on one obscure 7″, and a reminder that, in the proper context, his imbecilic mission is a farty squeak lost amid the thunderous roar of peace-lovers like Bob Marley. Politics aside, the track also makes you wish for some more philosophically compatible musical collisions: How about some sweaty Afro-beat folk metal from EnsiFela? Or the no-justice-no-peace rage of SepulTosh? Shit, I’d kill for some Sade-dle of Filth about now.

-ADF

Mega-hugs to CSS for the tip!

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