• Axl Rosenberg

I’m going to put approximately as much work into this introduction as Zakk Wylde did the writing of the last BLS album.

I’m actually going to begin today with a video that I think is legitimately good, because I need to wash the taste of so much cinemetallic poo out of my mouth. The band is called Montezuma’s Revenge (you’d expect them to be of Aztec descent, but they’re actually Russian), the song is called “Dead Frost,” Vince suggested I watch it, and I’m glad he did. The animation isn’t amazing, but it still puts this clip way ahead of the pack.

Next in the queue we have “Erased Existence,” the latest video from Wormrot. This video isn’t terribly original, but the song SHREDS and I’m still in the honeymoon phase with Wormrot, so I’m going to give it a passing grade.

Next is line is Cauldron’s video for the song “All or Nothing.” In this video, the band encourages fans to quit their paying jobs and behave in ways both irresponsible and violent towards their bosses so that they can concentrate full-time on their band and/or be arrested for assault. Look, I know metal is all about being rebellious, but being an obnoxious douche isn’t the same thing. The bosses in this video don’t even seem like bad dudes; I mean, there’s a sign right there that says “Don’t Put Shit Here” and the guy puts shit there. That’s exactly the kind of thing that pisses me off, too. So it’s like they tried to make a Twisted Sister video, but they did it all wrong.


Next up we have Parkway Drive’s video for “Karma” (insert joke about how Parkway Drive’s very existence proves there is no such thing as karma here). This is actually not a bad video at all, but it in no way threatens the Dead to Fall/”Chum Fiesta” video’s status as “The Greatest Metal Video Ever to Take Place on a Beach.”


Next we have the video for Big Chocolate’s remix of Suicide Silence’s “No Time to Bleed.” And because Cam Argon felt he wasn’t doing enough already, what with being in 1,894,521 bands and remixing another 3,469,045 bands and doing whatever else, he also shot and edited this video. Unfortunately, vast portions of it seem to be out of focus, so I guess you can’t be good at everything.

Next we have Kataklysm’s clip for “At the Edge of the World.” It’s a live video that doesn’t do much to distinguish itself from the thousands of other live videos you’ve seen, but I do think the song is pretty good, so there’s something nice I can say about it.

And we conclude today with the video for Indestructible Noise Command’s “God Loves Violence.” This video is mostly in-focus, and is successful at conveying the illusion that the people on your monitor are really moving. The sound is also in sync.


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