Tour de Force

Suburban ‘Murica Gets Some New Slayer Tour Dates

Photo Credit: Alyssa Lorenzon for MetalSucks
Photo Credit: Alyssa Lorenzon for MetalSucks

MetalGF and I are looking to enter the dicey NYC real estate market. We love our current place, but these assholes have been making our lives miserable for the past year and a half by building a 700-unit apartment complex right on our doorstep. The noise at all hours of the day is unbearable, unless you love the sound of trucks idling outside your bedroom window at 5:30am, or you get off on the way the whole house shakes when those 75-foot steel piles are being hammered into the swampy, polluted ground.

The horror stories are true: NYC real estate is a bitch. One house is too small, one’s too far away, one’s too old, one would need a full gut reno, one’s right under an elevated subway line. All of them are insanely fucking expensive. But we persevere! Nothing beats this city. Ditching this amazing place for the lame-ass burbs to have “more space” or “a backyard for the kids to run around in” while assuring everyone that “the commute’s not that bad” is for wimps, the real-life equivalent of only following a sports team when they’re making a playoff run. Fuck that! We’re no fair-weather fans!

Yesterday’s house was decent, a candidate for sure. The kid currently living in one of the bedrooms had a Slayer poster up on his walls. Home! Slayer are gonna be doing some touring this summer around some big U.S. festival dates they have booked, so perhaps that kid can go get his face rocked off in whatever bitch-ass, fake municipality he ends up in when he finally admits he can’t handle the grind. Dates below.

04/24 Birmingham, AL – Iron City
04/25 Jacksonville, FL – Welcome To Rockville
05/01 Virginia Beach, VA – WNOR’s Lunatic Luau
05/03 Concord, NC – Carolina Rebellion
05/22 Pryor, OK – Rocklahoma
05/23 El Paso, TX – Socorro Entertainment Center
06/13 Manchester, TN – Bonnaroo
06/16 Huntington, NY – The Paramount
06/17 Huntington, NY – The Paramount
06/18 Portland, ME – State Theatre
06/20 Montebello, QC – Amnesia Rockfest

[via Metal Injection]

Show Comments
Metal Sucks Greatest Hits