San Antonio Newscaster Learns the Hard Way That You Can’t Show GWAR’s Reproductive Organs on Television

Update, 4:29 pm: Apparently, Blothar’s costume has received an update, and his udder now looks more phallic than ever (photo courtesy of RockRevolt):

Still, I think my basic points stand! Read the original story below…

Metal Insider reports that Mysanantonio.com reports that local newscaster J.T. Street (can’t possibly be his real name) has been fired from his longtime job at Fox affiliate KABB-TV as the result of an interview he conducted with GWAR vocalist Blothar (definitely not his real name):

“The lead singer reportedly was wearing a codpiece sporting a couple of prosthetic penises that weren’t sufficiently blurred, and a few seconds of that video made it onto the Fox affiliate’s early morning news Wednesday. The mistake, confirmed Street, marked the end of his eight-year tenure at the Fox affiliate – first as a movie critic, then a video journalist and finally as host of his own feature.”

I find Street’s dismissal to be deeply confusing, for a number of reasons.

For one thing, to the best of my knowledge, Blothar (pictured above) has an udder, not a penis, let alone several penises. Granted, udders can look phallic, but still, it’s technically a boob, not a dick. Have the good people of San Antonio never seen an udder before? Isn’t Texas supposed to be full of cowboys and cattle herders and what have you?

Also, why the hell would Blothar wear a big fake meat thermometer for a television interview? Even Dave Brockie, who I assure you had NO problem offending people, had a safe for work version of his costume — he didn’t go on Fox News or The Dan Patrick Show waving his wang around. I have no reason to believe that Blothar wouldn’t also have a genitalia-free version of his outfit for such occasions.

And if we assume, for the sake of argument, that Blothar did flash a prosthetic dong on screen, how did Street not notice and think “Hm, that might be an issue”? How did no one at the station notice before the piece aired?

And finally, even if Blother does have a big fake schlong on his costume, and even if he did wear it on the air, and even if neither Street nor his employers noticed before the segment went live… who gives a shit??? It’s a penis, not Goatse. Chances are that each and every person watching that broadcast has seen, or will at some point during their life see, a penis. And a real penis, too — not the kind of comedically exaggerated, patently fake schmeckel like the one a member of GWAR might wear.

So lighten the fuck up, KABB-TV. There are too many actual reasons to be pissy for you to get upset over something as dumb as this!