Nickelback Force Canadian Police to Rescind Drunk Driving Threat, Confirm Their Status as Fartknockers

  • Axl Rosenberg

As you may recall, earlier this week police in Kensington, Prince Edward Island made headlines when they revealed a new plan to prevent drunk driving this holiday season: anyone taken in for a DUI would be forced to listen to Nickelback while they were incarcerated. Brilliant, right?


Unfortunately, the members of Nickelback are humorless poopwads, and they’ve since forced Kensington PD to remove the warning. Blabbermouth reports that Kensington’s Constable Robb Hartlen tells CBC News…

“What we were trying to do is put a little humor into a very serious matter of drinking and driving. What it does is it sparks that conversation, it pushes that idea that everybody knows with a little bit of humor.”

Poor Nickelback. They take the brunt of a nation’s joke, and I’m sure they’re crying all the way to the bank.”

Boy, Hartlen ain’t kidding. I can’t believe after fifteen years of constantly being told how awful they are and making squillions and squillions of dollars regardless, the dudes in Nickelback still can’t just shrug this kind of thing off with a grin.

The bad news for Nickelback, of course, is that this news is only going to make everyone go out of their way to torture the band even more. Remember the kid who dealt with getting bullied by siccing his mommy on the other kids? Never really worked out for him, did it?

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