MetalSucks’ Top 25 Most Popular Stories of 2016


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.


Here they are: the top traffic-generating posts of 2016 on MetalSucks. If you don’t like these stories, you should have clicked on different ones, dummies.

#25: This Would Make Zakk Wylde Proud: A Rob Scallon Song Composed Entirely of Pinched Harmonics

#24: Wayne Static’s Widow Tera Wray Found Dead at 33 Years Old

#23: Fenriz from Darkthrone Accidentally Got Elected to His Town Council

#22: As I Lay Dying’s Tim Lambesis Suing Prison Medical Team for $35 Million Because He Has Moobs Now

#21: What Will Happen When a Member of Metallica Dies?

#20: Bring Me the Horizon Frontman Oli Sykes Destroys Coldplay’s Table at NME Awards

#19: Nick Jonas Infuriated Guitar Nerds Everywhere with This Shitty Solo

#18: The Big Short: The Most Metal Movie of 2015?

#17: Exclusive: Read the Entire Contract Mustaine Management Offered Havok

#16: Rumor: Axl Rose Will Replace Brian Johnson in AC/DC

#15: Ozzy Osbourne is Missing

#14: Fan Who Got Chewed Out for Texting at a Disturbed Show Makes it Official: David Draiman is an Asshole

#13: This Video of Ghost Being Interviewed on the Red Carpet at The Grammys is Hilarious

#12: Video: This is What a Dream Theater Soundcheck Looks Like

#11: Todd Jones from Nails is a Scene Bully

#10: Here’s How Kirk Hammett Pissed Off the Entire Musical Instruments Industry

#9: Members of Iranian Band Jailed, Could Be Executed for Playing Metal

#8: Bad Religion Guitarist Calls Out Bring Me the Horizon Over Douchey Backstage Warning

#7: This Video of Ghost Winning Their GRAMMY is Hilarious

#6: Why Thy Art is Murder Should Be Making Much More Money, Written by a Metal Band Manager

#5: Guns N’ Roses is Now the Twelfth Largest Economy in the World

#4: Jack Daniels Releases Single Barrel Whiskey in Honor of Motörhead

#3: Editorial: The Metal Community Must Stop Letting Phil Anselmo Off the Hook for His Racist Remarks

#2: Video: Machine Head’s Robb Flynn Responds to Phil Anselmo Racism Accusations

#1: Thirty of the Worst Heavy Metal Album Covers of All Time

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