Tool’s Maynard James Keenan Clarifies His Position on Justin Bieber
BREAKING VV IMPORTANT NEWS: Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan may not actually hate Justin Bieber.
As if you could forget: In July, El Bieberino posted the lyrics to Tool’s “The Pot” on social media, thereby outing himself as a fan of the band. Maynard, in turn, responded by re-posting that story with the hashtag #bummer. Then Le Bieberski’s wife, Hailey Baldwin-Bieber, got into it, calling Maynard “childish” and “sad” for dissing her future ex-husband. And then Danny Carey was like (and I’m paraphrasing here), “Naw, son, there’s no beef, Saul Good.”
Which brings us to today. The PRP reports that Maynard clarified his stance on De Bieberbootbop during a new interview with Beats 1 Radio, stating that he doesn’t hate Bieber, really — he just hates the machine in which he sees Bieber as a cog:
“He’s probably a good kid. It’s the crap that surrounds him. He was never armed with the tools to handle it. And the people surrounding him are monsters. He’s living in an ocean of… Am I allowed to swear on this show? OK, never mind. I was going to say… but I’m not sure I’m allowed to. So he’s, God bless him, he’s a product of those things that we’ve spoken about numerous times on every project I’ve ever done.”
“So when I make a statement like ‘#bummer,’ it has nothing to do with him. It has to do with, I know that the ocean of shit that’s going to follow because he couldn’t just be a quiet Tool fan, he had to say it out loud, and now I know the flood’s coming from the people that don’t get it, and the people that think they do, and they’re going to argue with each other.
“And it’s going to be stupid. And it doesn’t matter. And this poor kid’s caught right in the crosshairs, as he was, as he is.”
It feels weird to be on Justin Bieber’s side over Maynard’s, but at least some of what the Tool vocalist is saying strikes me as BS. Yes, Quod Bieberium is clearly the product of an ocean of shit. But I don’t believe Maynard didn’t realize people would interpret the hashtag as being about the pop singer and not about the system. And also…
- Why would you want someone to be a “quiet fan”?
- What, exactly, is the “ocean of shit” that comes with Bieber’s endorsement? The fact that all us gossipy sites reported it? Who gives a hoot? Why couldn’t Maynard just be a quiet celebrity? Must he keep insulting his own fans?
- And not that it matters, but why was he afraid to say “ocean of shit” one second and totes cool with it the next?
I don’t get it. I don’t think I get it. I know I don’t get it.