Missed Out on Those $130 ‘Ghildos’? Pig Destroyer’s Got Your Butthole Covered for Less

If celebrity deaths come in threes, what do metal-themed sex toys come in? Well, other than your orifices, that is… Because not minutes after posting about the $130 Ghost “ghildos” exclusively sold in a Mother’s Day collection that sold out faster than most of you last in the sack, I was alerted by some of our intrepid readers that Pig Destroyer had also dropped a line of their own butt plugs on their Bandcamp page.

Hilariously named the ‘Plug Destroyer Butt Plugs,’ the band is giving their fans the gift of choice — as long as part of that choice is which Pig Destroyer themed butt plug they want to jam in their crullers — exclusively for Bandcamp Friday. Offering three different sizes and three different materials (red or black silicone and stainless steel), the band is selling individual plugs for $35 each and the “Ass & Volume Bundle” set of all three sizes for $75.

Perhaps the funniest part about all this is the fact that the flared bases of each size has a different image on it. The small one has the classic Pig Destroyer logo, the medium one features the Prowler in the Yard album art, and the large one has vocalist J.R. Hayes’ face on it. Imagine looking right at the business end of your partner’s (or yours in the mirror) b-hole, only to see what looks like a sweaty white dude looking back in your direction. The mind boggles.

The plugs are available as supplies last, which is an important thing to note because as of this posting there are just two of the “Ass & Volume” bundles left. Act fast if you wanna graduate to J.R. Hayes status.

Of course this isn’t a new phenomenon. As mentioned before, Rammstein once sold a box set of six dildos modeled after the band members’ dicks, Gwar teamed up with Bad Dragon to put out a fuckable Cuttlefish of Cthulhu, and Health sold buttplugs at their shows.

So yeah. Go get your butt plugs and fuck yourself with the power of death metal.