GWAR Unveils a F*ckable Cuttlefish of Cthulhu
Our lords and masters GWAR are no strangers to fucking the humans and creatures of this planet, from their experience “Fuckin’ an Animal” to threatening to swim a river carp up our butts. But now, you can actually get fucked by the late Oderus Urungus’ massive swinging Cuttlefish of Cthulhu.
Announced earlier today, GWAR is teaming up with massive dong purveyor Bad Dragon to offer the phallic “companion” of the late vocalist to please just about any human that likes to place things in various parts of their body.
“GWAR recently seized control of the red-hot phallic forges deep in the Bad Dragon lair, where legendary sex-smiths work day and night to create the highest-quality fantasy-themed adult toys in the business. The result is a new monster dong for the denizens of planet Earth. Now, you too can wield the awesome power of the winged wiener of Oderus Urungus, the Cuttlefish of Cthulu!”
I’m not sure very many people will be “wielding” this thing, guys…
As you can see by checking out the Bad Dragon site, which is not safe for work, you can see that it ranges from small to extra large, with each option being compared to a standard can of soda. You can also have a choice between black or the “signature” multi-color cuttlefish that glows in the dark — you know, just so you don’t lose the massive sex toy with eyes on the end.
Prices depend on the item’s size and range from $84.99 to $199.99. Really, you should check out the site if you want to know about the various circumference and length measurements for each version, though I’ll say the extra large has A FOOT of “usable length” and is just as big around. Impressive.