…Reality gives a pretty good flavor of the band. And those finger-spike thingies; oh my, where do I get my pair of those? -VN [kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/vP_EhEpPHjY” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/CAEQQS_qKTE” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] …and lo and behold, I’m absolutely right! This video of one man’s choices for “50 best doom metal riffs” could have been pretty awesome…

…only dude in rock in 1991 using a Telecaster — with an inverted headstock, no less! Nothing screams “metal” like an inverted headstock. -VN [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/42u6THtPEew” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…

…be cool. But to be honest, I’m not too psyched by this clip of the band performing “Cold” from the live DVD: [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/knL6C-BVVFA” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] What do…

…coming out of the ground are least a little phallic. Maybe our favorite Swedes got to see this movie at Sundance last year: [kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/yH8yuld4DUE” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] -AR…

…in the video (i.e. the heater, “you have my heart,” and the orchestral skeleton dudes). -VN [Thanks to MetalSucks commenter “Hegster90” for the tip] [kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/rDrNvBNEOHE” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…

…this blast from the past… Part One: [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/BZ528ZgfsF0″ width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] Part Two: [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/uH7sD-90ouI” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] Part Three: [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/COgbSmzbtoM” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] -KW…

…playing, but you gotta love the amount of energy they’re putting into it for a crowd of what looks like about twenty people. [kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/hdn6nOR7JiM” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] -AR…

…They’ve done about 10 trillion supports runs supporting Threads of Life with crappy headliners. Come on dudes, let’s go! (Delia, you reading this?) -VN [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/Y0nsaOhaisw” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…

…speed metal, some punk. But when I play, I try to play more musical songs, not just speed rock.” Thanks to some YouTube scouring, I was able to dig up…

…marketing. ANYWAY, this is probably all just b.s., so, uh, here’s a bunch of dudes playing “Sweet Child O’ Mine” on the sitar. [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/OHwsV5IqhZs” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] -AR…

…videos on YouTube are over or approach 100,000 plays) and he continues to consistently record new music and tour. -VN Music video for “Free” [kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/VRXW1thQtPM” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…

…time… fuck this douche-turd. -VN “Letters Home from the Garden of Stone”: [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/10ej46Mhshg ” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] For comparison, “What’s It’s Like”: [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/4z9f9Eybv4I” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…

This first kid ought to seriously consider trading in his back-stabbing friends for new ones: [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/Wu5YOaCXK9s” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] We’re not sure where this second poor chap went…

…is starting to seem as old and faded as the rock stars it covers. I used to check the site on a daily basis to find who Nikki Sixx was…

…pick with a suction cup on it (no joke, I actually saw this once and have a prototype). -VN [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/NgPIHqfH9sw” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] [Wired‘s Gadget Lab, via Idolator]…

…Understatement of the century. Watch the Prince of Darkness audition for the Anderson Cooper 360 announcer’s gig, below. Vote for Ozzy at CNN.com/360. -VN [kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/p8cWTcCic8M” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/ewY3hlRV2Ew” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…

…like to thank House for taking time out of his very busy schedule curing weird diseases to do our video. Also, fuck Slipknot.” [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/CBYdliM0QtA” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /] -AR…

…no cliche metal video bullshit), and listen to the band’s past work at their MySpace page. Fortress drops January 29 on Vagrant Records. -VN [kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/rhMfz4HrcEA” width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]…