(HED) P.E. ANNOUNCE “HEAVY HITTERS TOUR.” NO, YOU DON’T GET TO HIT THEM.
Monday, January 7th, 2008 at 10:23am by Axl Rosenberg
I was confused about about the name of this tour because, well, being a “heavy hitter” is usually a euphemism for being “important,” and yet I’d heard of none of the other bands on this tour (Although I liked this description of the tour’s co-headliners: “Kingspade is just straight dope and they possess the freshness of the Kottonmouth Kings, but with a nice hip-hop twist.” First of all, describing a band’s music as “just straight dope” in 2008 is HILARIOUS; second of all, Kottonmouth Kings didn’t already have a “hip-hop twist?” I thought their music was, y’know, hip-hop?).
So I called (Hed) P.E.’s publicist for some clarification. I was hopeful that the band had finally taken my suggestion that they just rent out baseball bats and let “concert goers” beat the living shit out of them – hell, I even offered to buy a ticket that would cost at least as much as a sweet new band hoodie – but, alas, no. It’s just called “Heavy Hitters” because, to white kids who still think that Fred Durst is the future of music and that Kottonmouth Kings need more of a “straight dope hip-hop twist,” this is the tour of the fucking century.
-AR
This tour sucks but you love the one with Avenged Sevenfold and Bullet for My Valentine?
@ Guy: No. We won’t be attending Taste of Chaos, either.
That being said, this tour still sucks worse than Taste of Chaos, worse than Family Values, and worse than whatever other shitty package tour you have in mind.
(hed) PE…what a bunch of choads
U all r h8terz. Why can’t you just accept that hip-metal-hop is str8t dope.
Ill come into your house, impregnate your spouse, fuck her in the mouth then im out, what?
Only true pioneers like Hed(Pe) can write shit like that. King Crimson aint got shit on dat.
I actually thought their self-titled release from the late Nineties was alright. Since then, it’s pretty much all been complete horseshit.
Speaking of horses, why are we still beating on this dead one?
Seth, U da MAN! Word.
We’re beating this dead horse, devil, because often Axl and Vince have nothing worthwhile to write about so they’ll just dig up something on some band they hate, all the while not realizing the irony in hating Korn by liking Sevendust, which is Korn with one more chord and 8% more vocal melody.
oops, s/b “but liking Sevendust…”
Look at that picture of Head Pee and tell me you actually take them seriously. If you’re under 18 your opinion doesn’t count.
Great point Sammy.
I like Sevendust and Hed PE but at the same time I love me some Ratt and Iron Maiden. What’s my point? I love music.
I still hate Korn. Blah.
Shanz and all you haterz!!! HeD roks and i would love to see you get ripped apart at hed concert pussies!! you prolly wouldnt even step foot in a mosh you posers…. bullet for my valentine is gay and if you like their music your gay!!! b2r d4l PCE
FUCK YOU YOU STUPID BITCH
[...] (hed)p.e. Apparently encouraged by the rabid success of their “Heavy Hitters Tour” (no, unfortunately you don’t get to hit them), the band is putting out a new album on January 13th, a press release tells us. If one new [...]
Patrick’s post is either the most sublime parody of a Hed Pe fan ever, or a prime example of why no one takes Hed Pe’s fanbase (if there really is one) seriously. Honestly, I can’t tell.
I hate Fred Durst and Limp Bizkit and Korn with a passion.
You know absolutely nothing about Hed PE and Kottonmouth Kings. These bands have REAL talent. They produce real hip-hop and punk rock. Why else would respected artists like Tech N9ne perform with them?
Are you really this ignorant in real life?
Listen to any of their albums before making a judgment on their music based on some lame scene they were lumped into by the media. Don’t be ignorant! Fight the power! Stand up! Don’t listen to the same 15 songs that MTV and the radio play all day long! HED PE FOR LIFE!
Hed PE are talented. Proof:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeZV8gDJmdc
If you cannot see talent in this, you know nothing about music.
ok Joe, Mike and Sirreal FUCKING KNOW!!! hed pe is the shit. jared shane is a real artist and a genius. sure they are different then bands u hear on the radio but isnt that a good thing? real shit seems hard to find these days. you just cant judge them on the stereotypes people like to put them in. I guess if ur listening to a bullet for my valentine you wouldnt servive 10 seconds at a hed pe concert or a tech show for that matter. I guess u should turn around and leave since this shit is just too much 4 ur faggot-ass