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FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A COPY OF ANOTHER BLACK DAY’S DEBUT ALBUM

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008 at 4:18pm by

black metal guytool revolver issueLast week’s Funny Photo Caption contest (picture at right) spawned a ton of hilarious entries, but in the end only three will take home a copy of Revolver‘s special edition Tool issue (pictured at left). It was a tough call, but these are the winning entries:

Johnny Ringo: “seriously guys… i’ve slaughtered more than my fair share of christian souls… burned AT LEAST half a dozen churches and i have every single riff and lyric memorized from Anthems to the Welkin At Dusk and i STILL have to be the one who gathers fire wood on camping trips? WEAK!!!!”

Uranamous: “So THIS is the new musical direction that Insane Clown Posse have been talking about taking. Sweet!!!”

JW Gacy: “A failed ad campaign for Captain Morgan’s new ‘Woodland Gimp Rum’.”

Congrats guys — we’ll be emailing you shortly to get your addresses so we can send you your prize. This week we have five copies of Another Black Day‘s self-titled debut (Bieler Bros. Records) to give away. All you have to do is come up with a funny caption to the below photo and post it in the comments. Good luck!

funny metal guy

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  • http://www.myspace.com/hoplite Travis Conquest

    This is what happens when a gay biker played by Burt Reynolds donates sperm to Paris Hilton, who then realizes she can’t take care of the child — He is then collectively raised by all of the members of KISS, ala Three Men and a Baby.

  • bucketochicken

    No life till leather, gonna get some ass tonight!!

  • Byron. W

    And we all thought Judas Priest looked cool…

  • Oh yeah?

    Wes Borland finally decides to release a solo album… “Live from Ibiza!!”

  • Tim

    Velcome to “Shprockets,” I am your host, Dieter. Ve have changed formats and vill now be rock danse oontil dawn.

  • Dress To Depress

    “Hey, guys! Check out my Halloween costume! I’m one of those metalheads! WOOOOOO! SATAN!!!!!!”

  • http://www.myspace.com/bettyd420 Renee

    The Biker from the Village People new and improved look! Updated for the new millennium!

  • http://www.myspace.com/mindovermalice Mike Malice

    Red Octane finally realizes that it has been ignoring the goth metal scene in its Guitar Hero franchise and scraps Guitar Hero: Aerosmith for Guitar Hero: Type O Negative

  • Vitruvian Ape

    the number 3 neccesity on Halford’s road rider.

  • http://www.myspace.com/evilsammy Sammy

    Is that a Guitar Hero controller in your pocket, or are you just really really happy to see me?

  • seagoat

    Dude, seriously, the air guitar contest is over! Go home already!

  • canea

    Comes with 2 realistic openings and guitar (non-functional).

  • whatwhy

    “me fingers hurt”

  • Jason

    Synester Gates before he got his big break.

  • Sofa King

    George Michaels on a good day.

  • http://cultclassicmoviereview.blogspot.com You Don’t Know Me

    Robert Palmer video reject #286

  • Nick

    in other news… Orgy are set to release their first new album in over five years…

  • http://www.coreymitchell.com corey mitchell

    Todd McFarlane Toys presents the new A7X doll.

  • http://untilsheshines.blogspot.com/ Christopher

    guy spelt Euronymous wrong

  • FLmetal

    A sneak peek at David Draiman’s new “METAL” clothing line.

  • http://untilsheshines.blogspot.com/ Christopher

    Man with lack of ethnic background compensates with dark clothing and unrealistic ambitions.

  • adam

    so this is what rob halfords long lost son looks like

  • Murderface Rapes your mother and then

    Lou Perlman’s decided to go in a completely different direction since his sentencing.

  • http://www.consequenceofsound.net Jay

    Wal-Mart decided to go with a perfect combination of “ultra rad heavy metal” meets “knockoff Sears Catalog replica” in First Act’s new ad campaign for their newest guitar line: “Plastic Paradise”

    Plastic instruments for plastic people!

  • HE-MANTHOR

    “I said what what in the butt! I said what what in the butt! You want to Rock it in my butt, in my butt? You want to Rock it in my butt in my butt? OKAAY!”

  • THANATOS

    “Alright, Alright. This next song goes out to Jason “Fast-Daddy” Edwards, the man I love. Its called Fucked in the Ass with an Axe. Here it goes…”

  • SohaiKapanchat

    Mmm.. leng jai… ham lan sap kai yeh, ngo look yeh chou mm chou ar?

  • jj

    all that leather is…..TOO…..MUCH……METAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • poopynuggeteer

    Darth wanker

  • http://metalcracker.com Metal Cracker dot com

    So Ozzy does have the odd good looking kid!

  • http://www.myspace.com/dhalsimart Johnny Ringo

    check out the new model of ken doll it’s called “guitar player of the village people ken” get it today…it goes well with “def leppard groupie” barbie

  • Cam

    The sneak preview of the action figure for the lead guitarist of prominent glam-death metal band Studfist leaked on the internet today…

  • Matt

    Alexi Laiho unveils the new look for CoB on the eve of their new release “BloodDrunk”

    Note the attention to detail, the guitar has been designed to have the appearance of a novelty shop blow up axe. Brilliant.

  • http://www.57design.co.uk steve57

    “There’s many who tried to prove that they’re faster,
    But they didn’t last and they died as they tried”

  • Jim Gilletowicz

    God, Joan Jett looks good for her age….and her guitar playing sounds much better.

  • Jake

    Boy G

  • Jake

    Boy George the metal years

  • http://www.iamcjthedj.com C.J. (the D.J.)

    Alls this leathers and theys can’t gives me a leathers guitar? This is like askings Britney Spears to sings!

  • Muttweiler

    It’s your own AIR GUITAR TRANSEXUAL! Not found in any stores! If you are one of the first 100 callers we will include an extra set of assless chaps! It sucks, it fucks, plug in your ipod and cornhole to your heart’s content! It’s made of durable polyurethane for years of use! Only $599.99 while supplies last!

  • Tommy Leebowitz

    After being thrown out of KMFDM, I started my own band BDSM.

  • http://myspace.com/tythemetalhead Tyler Hendricks

    “what do you mean i not ‘band material’?! dude really look at the new ‘squek effects’ that i get from this spankin brand guitar of mine!”

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    “If our new ad campaign doesn’t get those kids to put down those kids to put down those dumb Guitar Hero controllers and pick up a Dean HardTail, then we are just not doing our jobs.”

  • Joseph

    The inflatable guitar is actually the least artificial element in this picture.

  • John B.

    “I knew it didn’t feel right, my new blow-up guitar has a female input”.

  • Ray P

    “Man if only these camera men knew how much I love cock. Actually I wish this was a huge cock in my hands not this stupid inflatable guitar”

  • http://www.myspace.com/evilsammy Sammy

    canea Says:

    May 22nd, 2008 at 7:34 pm
    Comes with 2 realistic openings and guitar (non-functional).

    That is your winner!

  • Zac

    Full pleather dildo optional in the mouth while supplies last.

  • asheswillremain

    Seriously guys… A balloon guitar? I said leather. This totally clashes with my outfit. I was going for a common theme here to tie all of this together. You’re fired!… Just as soon as I sort out this whole gender identity thing…

  • Joseph

    “Dad, you don’t have to lie to your co-workers about those pictures in your wallet anymore. I’m a star!”

    probably disqualified now, but it’s all in good fun.

  • Robert

    “PECKER BOY FLOYD”!!!! LIVE AT ROCKLA-HOMO!!!!

  • Dud

    Blackie Balless of W.A.S.P…which stands for “We All Suck Peckers”

  • dale schmucker

    I am here to try out for THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. what!!!!! 20 yrs to late?? And I was PUMPED UP for the show. damn it, janet!!!!

  • Tris

    You may find yourself asking….”does anybody really care bout a L.A guns reunion or if faster pussycat go back out on tour this summer?, can steven “Sex” Summers still get it up? or what exactly do leather boys do with electric toys????”…..Damnit I do!

  • Strapping Young Lad

    Slipknot FINALLY unveils their new costumes for their upcoming album!!

  • Aliester Fiend

    Some of us are just “Too Fast For Love”

  • myke

    rob halford has unvailed his newest fashion line for homosexuals,”Grinder Searching For Meat”. Halford was quoated ” I needed to expand into new ventures and we all know that homosexual man love leather but this is for the real rough metal man. we even added an easy gerbil excise hole. so that partner of yours can have the joy of watching you scream like me!!!!

  • Aliester Fiend

    Ever read the lyrics to the Priest song “Jawbreaker?”

  • Aliester Fiend

    Hot Topic’s marketing is really coming along

  • http://www.nonelouder.com jasonfromNONELOUDER

    Looking back now, Johnny realizes that the bright lights in his dreams really didn’t do anything but blind him.

  • Muttweiler

    …we caught up with what Kevin (above photo) has been doing since he left the Backstreet Boys and he had this to say: ” I just hated to be associated with that shit, it was sooooo fucking gay, like can you believe it…”

  • Aliester Fiend

    I got the butt beads if you got the time!!!

    lets go honkey tonkin

  • http://www.pro-jikts.com Nickmeister

    Lube metal.

  • http://www.myspace.com/divinationmetal thedoomsdaybroadcast

    “cum and get it Judath Prietht!”

  • Vince Noir

    So I’m auditioning for the vacant guitarist slot in Korn, My influences are Liza Minelli and Ricky Martin. Haven’t heard your music yet but you look suuuper cute in a kilt-Call me!

  • Malacoda

    Madonna’s backing guitarist.

  • Muhammed

    Guitar Hero 4 1/2: Judas Priest Edition. Vinyl pants not included.

  • http://www.sithomeandrot.com/celebs/ manny

    Playstation presents: Guitar Zero

  • Charger77

    “This isnt the only thing I pump up before the show boys” said one of Mansons minions

  • Wolfface

    The new look from Abercrombie and it’s called “Heavy Metro!”

  • Eye of Newt

    Hell Bent for Plastic

  • Eye of Newt

    Manager: “His gear just got stolen and we can’t afford any for tonight’s show. Just play his part over the PA and let’s hope no one notices.”

  • Brad

    When Fred Durst realized how successful Judas Priest was, he pulled out his 80′s romp outfit and called up his other band mates from Limp Bizkit…

  • http://metalmartyr.com www.metalmartyr.com

    “Hi, I’m Axl Rosenberg”

  • metalmessiah

    Don’t have a cow man, wear one. And the guitar is REAL, ok?…it’s pleather, it still counts!

  • mrmike

    If you thought Rob Halford was gay, you should meet his cousin Chuck.

  • johnny o

    metal-god Pete Wentz at the sidekick 3 release party

  • http://www.myspace.com/justinthedude Justin H

    The first guitar player to take Carmen Electra’s virginity….and she regrets getting plastered that fateful night ever since then.

  • Merta

    Dude since when did Rob Halford have a kid, I thought he was gay. At least he is following at his dad’s footsteps.

  • http://countshockula.blogspot.com ezra

    Tommy Hilfiger releases his “Black Metal” line of clothing to the confusion of rappers everywhere.

  • Max

    It’s what’s in the pants that counts.

  • http://noyokono.blogspot.com noyokono

    LIVE from Rob Halford’s basement rec room!

  • ben

    got cow?

  • Pingback: FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN METAL BLADE RELEASES FROM SHAI HULUD AND ALETHEIAN | MetalSucks

  • http://www.yoga-clothing.com Dillion

    Commenting usually isnt my thing, but ive spent an hour on the site, so thanks for the info