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What the fuck??

HEAVIER THAN METAL: DALLAS COWBOYS LINEMEN START A BAND

 Wednesday, April 15th, 2009 at 10:59am by

dallas cowboys free reignAll you really need to know about Dallas-based “metal” band Free Reign can probably be gleaned from their facial hair, choice of t-shirts and menacing faux-scowls. But in case you’re a masochist for self-punishment and would like to hear what happens when three linemen from the Dallas Cowboys get together to start a band, you can listen to their music here.

-VN

[Thanks to MS Maniac David W. for the tip.]

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  • ceth

    Somehow I enjoyed this more than any of the recent snippets of Skunk Anansie and Lacuna Coil that have been posted recently.

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Possibly the greatest band of our time…listen to those vocals on All In Vain, they blew me away. Those spoken parts=chilling

  • wowww

    that band makes my ears hurt.
    garbage, stick to football

  • Sammy

    Um Vince? EVERY band you highlight here has some form of bullshit facial hair, stupid black t-shirts and faux menacing scowls.

  • Shinaain

    Damn, I can’t listen to the link at work….

    An aesthetic appraisal: A group of huge men with no necks, facial expressions that look more vacant than “scowling,” and what looks like about 50 yards-worth of Affliction T-shirts….Well, at least they have the metal trend-meister uniform correct….

    *Have a long way to go before they’re ready for the big leagues–much like the actual Dallas Cowboys*??? Burn.

    Screw it: I’m game. I’ll check out anything.

    Love and Rockets,
    Shinaain

  • canea

    Gotta love the flanger.

    If you factored in the total amount of brain cells at work they’re doing OK.

  • Senior Swanky

    Sounds like bad local bar metal
    What’s with all the Affliction apparel

    Fuck this i’m going back to listening to the Infection
    Chimaira FTW!

  • borden

    I really wonder where their inluences come from. Good for these guys for trying, but I did feel a little embarresed for them while trying to listen to the first track. some of the worst “METAL” I may have ever heard!

  • Joe

    That drumming is surprisingly not horrible, but the non-sweeps ruin everything. Guitar virtuoso? Uhhhhhhhhh…

  • Sven

    Eh… I’ve certainly heard worse. Could benefit from better production.

  • b-rad

    worst vocal harmonies i have ever heard!!! who produced this? Van Gough??

  • Gordon Bombay

    This is a shitty attempt at shitty music. If these guys started a thrash band, no matter how bad it was, i would have bought a ticket and drank beers at one of their shows. I love sports and played on the o-line in high school, so fat Pro-football players playing in a thrash band would have been outstanding.

  • Zero System

    Affliction much?

  • ferocious_fetus

    DAMN YOU VINNIE PAUL!
    look what your red neck ass metal bands have brought upon our world!
    *shakes fists*

    • Zakk n Dime

      Dude fuck you! Why you callin out a guy like Vinnie Paul over 1 shitty ass band?! Pantera fucking rules so go die

      • gnarlk

        because 1 shitty pantera influenced 6.5 million obnoxious jock metal bands worldwide…

  • dicknballs

    Well, just like the football team they come from, this band also sucks.

    Whoever is ripping Vinnie Paul can go shit their pants.

    The Dallas Cowboys suck.

  • CarlosRamirez

    Bar metal is right!

  • http://www.myspace.com/monotheistmetal Shiv

    This is the best music I’ve ever heard.

    *shoots self*

  • festernaecus

    BWAAAAAAAAAAhahahaha

    epic jockohomo fail

  • timmah

    Hahahaha, this is really bad.

    I couldn’t agree more with the “local bar metal” comparison…it’s dead on.

  • Jewers

    better than Nekrogoblin thats for damn sure…

    • Malacoda

      do you have ears?

    • demogorgon

      Yes, when in comes to playing football they would kick Nekrogoblikon’s ass

      • Melvins Suck ass

        Yur argument sir is INVALID

  • gnarlk

    ack, mine ears. must listen to melvins to cleanse them…

    • Melvins suck ass

      Dude your a fucking retard. The Melvins suck serious donkey dick. Listen to the 30 minute instrumental beginning to Boris to see what i mean. PS fuck you.

  • crapmcpoopin

    That was the worst experiment in cross over entertainment.

  • Ian

    Haha, what bullshit music.

  • Great Southern Trendkill

    You guys are fuckin stupid. It wasn’t that bad, it was 100% studio obviously.

    Yeah they should stick to football… but I thought it was okay the lead singer sounds like Scott Stapp…. and Stapp is a fucking homo.

    If you want good bands from the DFW area (that are active) check out Element Eighty, Diesel, or Drowning Pool.

    Other then that just fuck off and listen to god damn Pantera and Damageplan cause that’s the only REAL METAL.

    • gnarlk

      if that’s the only real metal, then the genre as a whole deserves the painful death it’s had coming to it…

    • ughhh

      hahaha. if you consider those REAL METAL bands then i don’t think you should come to this site. so maybe you should fuck off…and it IS that bad.

  • http://www.myspace.com/imabadseed Devin

    Horrible tone.

    • chauncey chompers

      yeah that was my complaint too. dicktard.

  • The Mighty Fucking Quinn

    I’m laughing because while its still bad, it is not nearly as bad I expected it to be.

    Did anyone factor in the fact that the three in Affliction gear are probably the dudes who are the football players and are hence probably all sponsored by Affliction?

    And the Pantera fan who mentioned Element 80 – die. Calling that band metal is like saying my grandmother is 74 years young. Its technically true, but she is still fucking old.

  • Malacoda

    @ Jewers: Completely wrong

    @ all: this hurts my brain. A lot

  • tyler09

    they got my attention. Pretty good stuff

  • I

    Producer: Holy Shit, these guys really suck. I can’t belive the lable signed them. What the hell are we gonna do to polish this turd?!

    Engineer: I know, we’ll overproduce the band and throw an assload of reverb on the singer while including a pitchshifter. It works for Brittny Spears, it’s gotta work for these douches, right?

  • HardcoreB52

    Oh oh….did you see the bass player on the video trying so hard to reach inside his head and figure what note came next. Damn this shit is funny. I can see it now. 4 burly men in Dillards say ” I know lets all where affliction shirts….yea! (as they all high five each other for buying an 80 dollar rag)” Oh this shit is priceless. Thank you for posting this.

  • myke

    cough cough i see the writing on the wall go back to football

  • SourDeez

    The Cowboys can eat a dick. If the Giants’ O-line started a band they would probably play the nastiest, most evil death metal known to man. And then they’d lay you out hard.

  • http://myspace.com/biosyn teaches of peaches

    My gawd! Texas should just fucking secede already.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/Demigod1 Tyler

    That was god-fucking-awful. It’s great that they like metal and all, but damn, that is just bad. The vocals especially.

  • kirk

    dudes lighten up. its football players. did you really expect a prog-epic or something?

    yeah it sucks, but im surprised they can grasp the concept of playing an instrument at all, so good on them for that.

  • http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/8345/outside21.jpg Revrant

    Horrible, but funny.