PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN NEW RELEASES FROM AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED AND BRUTAL TRUTH!
Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 5:39pm by Vince Neilstein
Congrats to RobotScythe, the winner of last week’s funny photo caption contest. RobotScythe wins a super-sweet prize package from The Answer for coming up with the following caption to the photo at right:
“Promo shot for the new Down cover band Down Syndrome.”
Completely un-PC but completely hilarious!
This week we’re giving away 3 prizes courtesy of the fine folks at Relapse Records:
- Grand Prize: Longbox CD edition of Agoraphobic Nosebleed’s latest Agorapocalypse + CD of Brutal Truth’s latest Evolution Through Revolution and posters of both bands!
- Two runners-up: Regular CD editions of both of the above.
Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo, and they shall be yours.
“THE MUSICAL IS BACK!”
win
He thought the crowd liked him, but really they were just looking to power bomb his ass!
Wes Borland realizes his guitar playing sounds just as bad on a real guitar as on a plastic one, and plays to the only people in the world who dont know his name or hate his guts: toddlers
Do I get anything for predicting the winner of last week’s?
In the future, Guitar Hero will have evolved to the point of selling “rock star” clothing, such as the rock star shoes with color coded buttons on the bottoms that allow players to emulate their favorite rock moves while jamming away.
BrokenCYDE adds live guitarist
Marty McFly’s kid tries to get his parents to kiss at the big rave by playing a song from 2022 and is literally dragged off the stage.
Gitar skillz, I got ‘em! from the new lolcats sister site lolgeek
Avenged Sevenfold demonstrate their new custom guitars.
When Fred Durst dreams…
This is the last time I buy my shoes from Hot Topic!
…And then Herman Li woke up and realized he was even stupider than he was in his dream.
BEST ONE! I fucking laughed my ass off
despite being alive for hundreds of years, count dracula still manages to prove that he’s no old timer as he effortlessly aces through the fire and the flames in his “new” brooklyn second-hand-store kicks
Following the overwhelming popularity of the new 3 Inches of Blood shoes, Limp Cock decides to unleash their new kicks – the Nookie 6.0’s
Guitar Hero is so much better on LSD!
“Oh, I thought it was called Guitar Queero?”
Scott Ian, age 12.
Dj Ashba (Slash´s substitute´s substitute) dreaming of his first GNR gig
fisher-pricecore mother fucker
Rofl, good one xD, I lol’d
“Guitar Ninja! Coming to a store near you!”
Wayne Static in high school before he grew out his hair and “refined” his more electronic influences.
If Speak ‘n’ Spell is good enough to rock on, it’s good enough to walk on!!!
The Jonas Brother they didn’t want you to know about and his ability to bring the word “POSER” back into prominence!
“Hey! Which one of you digitized bastards shoved your fist up my ass?”
Damn, I had no idea Leif Garrett was still alilve and making music!
GUITAR HOMO coming to a store near you
this guy is tough, for a douchebag.
Wes Borland’s triumphant return to Limp Bizkit!
“DUDE IS THAT THE NEW GUITARIST OF DOPE!”
Well he has the skills….
Kickin’ ass and takin’ names…the Powerwolf Pumps by Sketchers
Is this a video still from Static-X’s cover of ‘Choppin Brocolli’?
This image explains to me why the guitars sound like shit on their new album.
Wayne To Engineer:
“No Dood; I want my guitar to sound like it’s coming out of a telephone speaker, smothered with a wool blanket”
The untold story of Nuremberg’s Nu Metal scene finally brought to the big screen in….
VROOM VROOM PAHTAY STAHTER
A documentary by Sam Dunn
Presented by Conan O’Brien
In select 3D and IMAX theaters May 15
Outta my way bitch I’m Jackie Chan and I got a license to fly
In reality, his mom was the only person who thought he was cool.
GUITAR HERO JUST GOT GAY
NEWS FLASH! GUITAR HERO IS GAY
the cover of the new video game “Guitar Zero”
Wes Borland tries out for Wyld Stallyns, blows motherfuckers away, rufus commits suicide, bill and ted never go on any journey, fail high school
SAN DIMAS FOOTBALL RULES!!
cunny funt
Dallas coyles new replacement, and it seems unlike dallas this the fans like this guy
Not a caption, but I have no idea why but I keep hearing the main riff to Led Zeppelin’s “Heartbreaker” when I see this picture…anyone else hear it?
Every time i see the picture it hurts my eyes!
With these new monogrammed air-raves, not only can I make a toy guitar sound awesome, but I can also get eaten by a pack of hands.
or carried through the sky with devil horns
Michael Jordan’s metal reincarnation.
actual in game screen shot from Guitar Hero: Five Fingered Fruit Punch
To the untrained eye, this looks like crowd-surfing. It’s actually fans taking this guy to the wood chipper.
“Yes! FisherPrice came out with It’s own guitarhero and it comes with free double bass pedal sneakers!!”
ROCK!
Get off my balls
Carl here’s spent more time playing “Girlfriend” by Matthew Sweet on Guitar Hero 2 than he has looking for one, it’s sad really.
Guitar hero 5: Even if you rocking out on a plastic guitar, someone is gonna grab your cock
The newest Knucklebonz figure of world famous douchebag Wes Borland features Wes playing his signature “Flying V(agina)” guitar. The figure is supported by a single hand that appears to be spreading the lips of Wes’ large gaping pussy.
You’ve just reached a million points; You’re a fag!
Edsel Dope is no longer following 90’s retreads like Nu-Metal and will begin to follow 80’s retreads instead. So instead of covering “Fuck the Police,” he’ll just cover The Police.
Guitarist of Syndrome of a Down.
Former Flamboyance lead-man shares the idea held by many bands today that you don’t need to know how to play a real instrument if you can be pretty.
This cocaine makes me feel like I’m in a band!!
I HOPE MY MOM DOESNT COME HOME EARLY
PCP + System of a Down show = this.
Off the stage! Over the crowd! And through the door!
James Hetfield and his little known 80s synth phase.
man guitar hero knows how capture rock ‘n’ roll in an ad
Zakky usually pantomimes his performance each evening, but tonight, his technicolor shoes, and plastic guitar make him a true video game hero, he finally has his Vengeance…
Check out the brutal debut from “Wes Borland & the New Kids on the Block”, “Multicolored Cock” May 15th on Roadrunner Records
“COME COME LADY COME MY PRETTY LADY, YOU’RE MY BUTTA…OUChy careful with the bunghole people…wait…never mind”
The new direction grind creeps think AnB is heading towards after the new album…
The next evolution in video games: Guitar World: Virtual Tour. The problem, the guy’s a doucher because he thinks he’s really there, not on the couch in his basement with a helmet on.
Looks like somebody in the crowd is playing the meat-guitar.
“Let’s surf the mentally challenged kid up there, he’ll be able to play better than this Herman Li guy.”
Thus the birth of “Shreddy Freddy”.
Reflecting on this moment, I realize it would probably have been a lot cooler if I weren’t playing the game on easy.
Kevin Jonas for the nu-metal and preschool crowd.
After seeing this and realizing the truth about Iggy Pop, Trent Reznor vowed to never, ever break anything but the finest of guitars.
(and drum sets, keyboards, basses, speakers, lights, cameras, bones, laws, etc.)
Christian Guitar Hero, coming to a Babylon near you.
Judas Priest Guitar Hero, Coming September 2009.
Guitar hero: Helping Idiots have delusions of grandeur since 2005
Dallas coyles new replacement, and it seems unlike dallas the fans actually like this guy
Metal up your ass!!!
Sam Totman didnt realise he was playing a dead cat until the acid wore off
Is it okay to microwave this?
GUITAR HERO 90s edition!
…and then I fucked your mother
Look out! It’s Shred Savage!
Finally, Laguna Beach got as hardcore as it’s audience could stand.
BEHOLD! the newes member of dragon force !
This is what Jeff Hull’s dream s look like.
Guitar Hero: Nu-Metal! Now with your favorite hits from Stuck Mojo, Nonpoint, Saliva and MORE!!! *goatee and clown shoes sold separately*
A nu-metal guitar hero would never have that many buttons.
Your reply was funnier than the actual comments I have seen so far. Good one.
Finally A7X gets a shoe deal.
Disco Stu awakens from a 30 year coma only to discover a newfound taste for the avant-garde likes of Hollywood Undead and cheap Guitar Hero knockoffs. He is promptly dropped in the pit and returns to his comatose state, perhaps for the better.
Hey Mom!!!! look at me im a douchebag
Wayne Static’s younger brother, Duh’Wayne Static, dreaming of life outside his moms basement playing songs on expert to millions.
Pro Shot photos from the concert of Slayer cover band: “Gayer.”
My gay rainbow love chicken shoes make all the girls crave my manwurst!
Dave Navarro endorses the latest Guitar Hero clone.
The dudes literally being held up by 1 hand.
The God awful aftermath of the crunk rock explosion.
If Herman Li and Sam Totman had a child…on acid.
I was 6 when the 80’s ended, but for some reason, this is always what I thought concerts would look like when I was that young.
Faggots give rainbows a bad name.
GUITAR HERO TO THE EXTREME!!!!
Sam Toteman used to cover his floor with model hands, set the camera timer to 10 seconds, and send promo pics of himeslf to other bands
Only One hand is putting up One finger, and at this angle, we can’t SEE that finger
This snapshot was taken on the set of Powerman 5000’s new video ” When Colors Clash”.
Hollywood Undead: Unmasked, Untalented.
“Holy Shit! Fuck Yeah! Fuckin Awesome! Shit Yeah!”
“Rocking out in imaginary land” Almost as good as real life!
Vanilla Ice kickin it Preschool!!
and you thought 3 Inches of Blood Nike high tops were gay…
Have you ever wondered what Guitar Hero will never be?? Please see above for the answer
even simon gave him two thumbs down
“Not photoshopped”
Wayne Static’s new promo shots aren’t going to look good for the demographic.
Gaahl?
Lol!
yes!
(Imagine in a King Diamond voice, if you will:)
“Taste the rainbooooooooooooooooow!!!”
awthum
EVERYBODY, KEEP PUSHING, HE’S ALMOST TO THE DUMPSTER!
ahahaha this is good… funny shit man!
FISHER PRICE GUITARS=TOTAL BR00TAL-NESS!!!!!!
the make-a-wish foundation makes a dream come true for one special, extremely burnt out individual, who buys guitars at toys-r-us
Rock Band Tour Edition 2: now with crowd surfing mode.
Light. Camera. Guitar!
Dimestore Darrell demonstrates their newest Guitar Hero rip-off.
Check out this wicked solo I wrote for mom!
now thats one ridiculous acid trip
Walmart is now endorsing bands.
Walmart and AC/DC are already an “item”
‘Queer Eye For The Metal Guy. New episodes coming soon.’
When metal turns to extacy
“Ever wanted to join a band, but were always too afraid of the drugs, fights and ear-shattering music involved? Then buy the new NERF band! Now available in guitarist”
scott hull doing what he does best….
So metal, it’s plastic.
I thoroughly enjoyed this, thank you
I second that.
This is what autistic children see when they play Guitar Hero.
“This is gayer than power metal \m/”
“Wow”! now im a totally cunt, time to pull off pics of emo chicks online”.
In the midst of of his big guitar solo Walter realised he had never played guitar and was, in fact, high on PCP, having a seizure in an alley.
WIN!
metal just got a whole lot gayer.
chyeah, I can play “Through Fire and Flames” on expert…What the fuck do you mean E major? First of all, my buttons are color coded, and second, they’re all the same size, so shut the fuck up before you look stupid in front of all these people…
‘I HATE FASHION’
1992 vomited, and then that vomit had sex with a bag of diarreha from 2007 and then invented the game guitar hero and took it on tour.
If this doesn’t show you why metal sucks, then I don’t know what does.
*sigh* if only I could really play guitar then I wouldn’t have to wear these totally gay shoes
Thank god, I’ve got a pair of legs and ain’t disabled.
Seconds later, he was dismembered and consumed by the rabid crowd.
when hipsters discover metal
The Future of Underground Metal…
Chris Cornell had too much coffee before the show!
Frustrated by forgetting to tight roll his jeans, L.C., lept into the crowd and tapped the buttons used to cover a lack of talent with the fury of squirrel. Metal Forever!!
Getting a rebellious trim from your aunt: $12.
Buying new kicks to show off at the show: $70
Paying your cousin back for stealing his toy guitar: $20.
Pitching a fit after realizing that each of these posessions are not metal: Priceless.
winner!
When guitar hero goes to far
Never thought I would say this, but video games are a bad influence on today’s youth.
Because Gibson’s Robot guitar wasn’t lame enough.
Guitar Hero: at least it will keep morons from starting shitty bands nobody wants to hear.
FTW
Jay Randall is finally cool now!
i think some poor bastard almost touch this faggot’s crusty sausage. good going dickface
Guitar Hero: Who needs real instruments when you got plastic!
get this guy’s ass out of my face ffs
Caption contest 5/5/09
#1.Human dildo, holds plastic guitar dildo while being passed around by a bunch of dildos like a vibrator at craigslist anonymous sex party.
#2.Gene simmons sucks off 12 year old SoCal homosexual, to keep him quiet he promotes his guitar hero career.
WIN!
“Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get-ar Hero!!”.
*facepalm*
This was so stupid it made me laugh
” When Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution join forces and have created “slam mosh guitar hero” out in Japan this summer” Comes Complete with super happy mosh shoes”
AP
Faced With Alarming New Photographic Evidence, World’s Scientists Reach Unprecedented Consensus: “Entire Course of Human Technology Must Be Reversed”
AP
“Guitar Hero” Products Facing Worldwide Ban After Controversial Photo
” this is awesome! i havent had this many guys touching my ass since i got backstage at a fallout boy show!”
James Hetfield’s wet dream come true.
George Fisher-Price guitars, coming soon to a dealer near you!
“I should play this game on acid all the time!”
doushbag it’s the new black
haha
Activision presents: Chump Hero
Activision Presents: Tap Dance Hero
quick! i’m grabbing his balls! you! take that kike’s wallet!
I can’t wait to get done rocking out so, I can go and blow the rest of my gay ass band in the van.
I don’t like his attitude, metal sucks.
“i hide my love for men on the bottom of my shoes”
Trivium fuckin’ ROCK! dude…YEAH!!!!!
I’m to BROOOOTAL to play Freebird.
Last known photo of guitar hero mascot right before brutal truth fans and members of brutal truth completely ripped him apart. One fan stated they wanted to see if all the colors of the rainbow would pour out of him
Scott Hull exposing the BRUTAL TRUTH about AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED- That the drums AND guitar are machine programmed! OH BURN
Photo caption contest sparks a slew of lame, unoriginal, and homophobic submissions to metal enthusiast blog MetalSucks.net.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA7b7VP7_PY
After blaspheming the Gods of Metal in a former life, this poor sould was banished to the most horrible fate known to man: The opening act of the fourth stage at Mayhem Fest, where budget cuts from the recent recession have forced him to craft an outfit from nothing but starburst wrappers and human back hair.
In a bid to cut the budget during the recession Mr. Laiho replaced his guitar with something that could also repetatively play the same riff, however this time it ran on batteries and worked at the press of a button. No one seemed to notice.
Maybe if i get a myspace too, they’ll play my songs on mtv and kerrang
Not an entry.. but doesn’t this shit look like the cover of one of those folders from elementary school?
THIS GUY GOT BORED WITH GUITAR HERO, SO HE BOUGHT GAY SHOES AND MADE GUITAR QUERRO
SORRY ABOUT MY PICTURE, MY FUCKING COUSIN DID IT, I APOLIGISE FOR THE INNAPROPRIATENESS
ronald mcdonald’s part time
Janne Wirman makes a new solo album.
Disney looking for new artists: as always, no talent needed.
Damn, I shouldn’t have had that burrito!
“New homosexual bands turns METAL to PLASTIC! \P/”
WE ARE THE TRIVIUM SUPER FAN CLUB! UNITTTEEE
Dreaming to become a bigger tool than the Jonas Brothers.
Annnnnnd fuck me for not seeing that this contest was already over