«
»
Contests

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN NEW RELEASES FROM AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED AND BRUTAL TRUTH!

 Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 5:39pm by

junior metalCongrats to RobotScythe, the winner of last week’s funny photo caption contest. RobotScythe wins a super-sweet prize package from The Answer for coming up with the following caption to the photo at right:

“Promo shot for the new Down cover band Down Syndrome.”

Completely un-PC but completely hilarious!

This week we’re giving away 3 prizes courtesy of the fine folks at Relapse Records:

  1. Grand Prize: Longbox CD edition of Agoraphobic Nosebleed’s latest Agorapocalypse + CD of Brutal Truth’s latest Evolution Through Revolution and posters of both bands!
  2. Two runners-up: Regular CD editions of both of the above.

Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo, and they shall be yours.

funny_wallpapers_heavy_metal_009135_

Tags: , ,
  • bucketochicken

    “THE MUSICAL IS BACK!”

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      win

    • Ben

      He thought the crowd liked him, but really they were just looking to power bomb his ass!

  • metalguy

    Wes Borland realizes his guitar playing sounds just as bad on a real guitar as on a plastic one, and plays to the only people in the world who dont know his name or hate his guts: toddlers

  • bearbomb

    Do I get anything for predicting the winner of last week’s?

  • Rida

    In the future, Guitar Hero will have evolved to the point of selling “rock star” clothing, such as the rock star shoes with color coded buttons on the bottoms that allow players to emulate their favorite rock moves while jamming away.

  • http://www.pandasdestroy.com jorbams

    BrokenCYDE adds live guitarist

  • anotherwhitemeat

    Marty McFly’s kid tries to get his parents to kiss at the big rave by playing a song from 2022 and is literally dragged off the stage.

  • Grey Price

    Gitar skillz, I got ‘em! from the new lolcats sister site lolgeek

  • Malacoda

    Avenged Sevenfold demonstrate their new custom guitars.

  • mahkiavelli

    When Fred Durst dreams…

  • MSRcast

    This is the last time I buy my shoes from Hot Topic!

  • Z

    …And then Herman Li woke up and realized he was even stupider than he was in his dream.

    • FuckMeWithVargsClub

      BEST ONE! I fucking laughed my ass off

  • da tr00f

    despite being alive for hundreds of years, count dracula still manages to prove that he’s no old timer as he effortlessly aces through the fire and the flames in his “new” brooklyn second-hand-store kicks

  • AB

    Following the overwhelming popularity of the new 3 Inches of Blood shoes, Limp Cock decides to unleash their new kicks – the Nookie 6.0′s

  • Alex C.

    Guitar Hero is so much better on LSD!

  • fightingmike

    “Oh, I thought it was called Guitar Queero?”

  • Blake

    Scott Ian, age 12.

  • Luca5 L8

    Dj Ashba (Slash´s substitute´s substitute) dreaming of his first GNR gig

  • major

    fisher-pricecore mother fucker

    • Rida

      Rofl, good one xD, I lol’d

  • Adrian

    “Guitar Ninja! Coming to a store near you!”

  • Jimmy

    Wayne Static in high school before he grew out his hair and “refined” his more electronic influences.

  • Matt

    If Speak ‘n’ Spell is good enough to rock on, it’s good enough to walk on!!!

  • Nick

    The Jonas Brother they didn’t want you to know about and his ability to bring the word “POSER” back into prominence!

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    “Hey! Which one of you digitized bastards shoved your fist up my ass?”

  • Ike Clanton

    Damn, I had no idea Leif Garrett was still alilve and making music!

  • Leo

    GUITAR HOMO coming to a store near you

  • kylemurder

    this guy is tough, for a douchebag.

  • MetalRod

    Wes Borland’s triumphant return to Limp Bizkit!

  • Kevin

    “DUDE IS THAT THE NEW GUITARIST OF DOPE!”
    Well he has the skills….

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Kickin’ ass and takin’ names…the Powerwolf Pumps by Sketchers

  • drumb

    Is this a video still from Static-X’s cover of ‘Choppin Brocolli’?
    This image explains to me why the guitars sound like shit on their new album.
    Wayne To Engineer:
    “No Dood; I want my guitar to sound like it’s coming out of a telephone speaker, smothered with a wool blanket”

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    The untold story of Nuremberg’s Nu Metal scene finally brought to the big screen in….

    VROOM VROOM PAHTAY STAHTER
    A documentary by Sam Dunn
    Presented by Conan O’Brien

    In select 3D and IMAX theaters May 15

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Outta my way bitch I’m Jackie Chan and I got a license to fly

  • himynameismark

    In reality, his mom was the only person who thought he was cool.

  • Manny

    GUITAR HERO JUST GOT GAY

    • Kevin

      NEWS FLASH! GUITAR HERO IS GAY

  • http://www.myspace.com/orchids Daisy May Tinklepants

    the cover of the new video game “Guitar Zero”

  • vitruvianApe

    Wes Borland tries out for Wyld Stallyns, blows motherfuckers away, rufus commits suicide, bill and ted never go on any journey, fail high school

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      SAN DIMAS FOOTBALL RULES!!

      • josh

        cunny funt

  • Chris

    Dallas coyles new replacement, and it seems unlike dallas this the fans like this guy

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Not a caption, but I have no idea why but I keep hearing the main riff to Led Zeppelin’s “Heartbreaker” when I see this picture…anyone else hear it?

    • Manny

      Every time i see the picture it hurts my eyes!

  • ashley

    With these new monogrammed air-raves, not only can I make a toy guitar sound awesome, but I can also get eaten by a pack of hands.

    • metalguy

      or carried through the sky with devil horns

  • dan wolfson

    Michael Jordan’s metal reincarnation.

  • sasquatch012

    actual in game screen shot from Guitar Hero: Five Fingered Fruit Punch

  • Brock

    To the untrained eye, this looks like crowd-surfing. It’s actually fans taking this guy to the wood chipper.

  • Uglymicrowave

    “Yes! FisherPrice came out with It’s own guitarhero and it comes with free double bass pedal sneakers!!”

    ROCK!

  • emiellucifuge

    Get off my balls

  • http://www.last.fm/user/Demigod1 Tyler

    Carl here’s spent more time playing “Girlfriend” by Matthew Sweet on Guitar Hero 2 than he has looking for one, it’s sad really.

  • Pacey

    Guitar hero 5: Even if you rocking out on a plastic guitar, someone is gonna grab your cock

  • Sacajawea

    The newest Knucklebonz figure of world famous douchebag Wes Borland features Wes playing his signature “Flying V(agina)” guitar. The figure is supported by a single hand that appears to be spreading the lips of Wes’ large gaping pussy.

  • scunionslapper

    You’ve just reached a million points; You’re a fag!

  • Dress to Depress

    Edsel Dope is no longer following 90′s retreads like Nu-Metal and will begin to follow 80′s retreads instead. So instead of covering “Fuck the Police,” he’ll just cover The Police.

  • Jimmehhh

    Guitarist of Syndrome of a Down.

    Former Flamboyance lead-man shares the idea held by many bands today that you don’t need to know how to play a real instrument if you can be pretty.

  • SourDeez

    This cocaine makes me feel like I’m in a band!!

  • alex

    I HOPE MY MOM DOESNT COME HOME EARLY

  • Fausto

    PCP + System of a Down show = this.

  • dadie_kfw

    Off the stage! Over the crowd! And through the door!

  • boardupthehouse

    James Hetfield and his little known 80s synth phase.

  • earthsherm

    man guitar hero knows how capture rock ‘n’ roll in an ad

  • http://www.myspace.com/butchfrable Butch

    Zakky usually pantomimes his performance each evening, but tonight, his technicolor shoes, and plastic guitar make him a true video game hero, he finally has his Vengeance…

  • Pancho

    Check out the brutal debut from “Wes Borland & the New Kids on the Block”, “Multicolored Cock” May 15th on Roadrunner Records

  • Pancho

    “COME COME LADY COME MY PRETTY LADY, YOU’RE MY BUTTA…OUChy careful with the bunghole people…wait…never mind”

  • Pancho

    The new direction grind creeps think AnB is heading towards after the new album…

  • http://www.myspace.com/somethinglikesweet CJ

    The next evolution in video games: Guitar World: Virtual Tour. The problem, the guy’s a doucher because he thinks he’s really there, not on the couch in his basement with a helmet on.

  • Sacajawea

    Looks like somebody in the crowd is playing the meat-guitar.

  • Ilona

    “Let’s surf the mentally challenged kid up there, he’ll be able to play better than this Herman Li guy.”
    Thus the birth of “Shreddy Freddy”.

  • Sacajawea

    Reflecting on this moment, I realize it would probably have been a lot cooler if I weren’t playing the game on easy.

  • Dillon

    Kevin Jonas for the nu-metal and preschool crowd.

  • key

    After seeing this and realizing the truth about Iggy Pop, Trent Reznor vowed to never, ever break anything but the finest of guitars.

    (and drum sets, keyboards, basses, speakers, lights, cameras, bones, laws, etc.)

  • http://www.metalsucks.net DeaThrash

    Christian Guitar Hero, coming to a Babylon near you.

  • Bern

    Judas Priest Guitar Hero, Coming September 2009.

  • Neil

    Guitar hero: Helping Idiots have delusions of grandeur since 2005

  • Chris

    Dallas coyles new replacement, and it seems unlike dallas the fans actually like this guy

  • Ironspudd

    Metal up your ass!!!

  • carn13

    Sam Totman didnt realise he was playing a dead cat until the acid wore off

  • Ironspudd

    Is it okay to microwave this?

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    GUITAR HERO 90s edition!

  • Ironspudd

    …and then I fucked your mother

  • Randy

    Look out! It’s Shred Savage!

  • Bicro

    Finally, Laguna Beach got as hardcore as it’s audience could stand.

  • oblivion

    BEHOLD! the newes member of dragon force !

  • xBEARFIGHTx

    This is what Jeff Hull’s dream s look like.

  • wags

    Guitar Hero: Nu-Metal! Now with your favorite hits from Stuck Mojo, Nonpoint, Saliva and MORE!!! *goatee and clown shoes sold separately*

    • Jimmy

      A nu-metal guitar hero would never have that many buttons.

      • Sacajawea

        Your reply was funnier than the actual comments I have seen so far. Good one.

  • http://www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com MetalMatt

    Finally A7X gets a shoe deal.

  • shit sandwich

    Disco Stu awakens from a 30 year coma only to discover a newfound taste for the avant-garde likes of Hollywood Undead and cheap Guitar Hero knockoffs. He is promptly dropped in the pit and returns to his comatose state, perhaps for the better.

  • http://johnnybegood johnnybegood

    Hey Mom!!!! look at me im a douchebag

  • Tanner Cooper

    Wayne Static’s younger brother, Duh’Wayne Static, dreaming of life outside his moms basement playing songs on expert to millions.

  • Meat

    Pro Shot photos from the concert of Slayer cover band: “Gayer.”

  • daddy

    My gay rainbow love chicken shoes make all the girls crave my manwurst!

  • Brett

    Dave Navarro endorses the latest Guitar Hero clone.

  • Devin

    The dudes literally being held up by 1 hand.

  • Steven A

    The God awful aftermath of the crunk rock explosion.

  • Anthony

    If Herman Li and Sam Totman had a child…on acid.

  • Mike

    I was 6 when the 80′s ended, but for some reason, this is always what I thought concerts would look like when I was that young.

  • Michael

    Faggots give rainbows a bad name.

  • CrazyD

    GUITAR HERO TO THE EXTREME!!!!

  • Shawny-poo

    Sam Toteman used to cover his floor with model hands, set the camera timer to 10 seconds, and send promo pics of himeslf to other bands

  • Shawny-poo

    Only One hand is putting up One finger, and at this angle, we can’t SEE that finger

  • Beastmaster

    This snapshot was taken on the set of Powerman 5000′s new video ” When Colors Clash”.

  • http://www.crackcesshollywood.com Farhaad

    Hollywood Undead: Unmasked, Untalented.

  • Kyle

    “Holy Shit! Fuck Yeah! Fuckin Awesome! Shit Yeah!”

  • B-dizzle

    “Rocking out in imaginary land” Almost as good as real life!

  • TheHardG

    Vanilla Ice kickin it Preschool!!

  • http://www.kaaghouse.com GoatRider

    and you thought 3 Inches of Blood Nike high tops were gay…

  • sickone69

    Have you ever wondered what Guitar Hero will never be?? Please see above for the answer

  • dale schmucker

    even simon gave him two thumbs down

  • jonowev

    “Not photoshopped”

  • Muhammed

    Wayne Static’s new promo shots aren’t going to look good for the demographic.

  • bearwizard

    Gaahl?

    • ashley

      Lol!

    • FuckMeWithVargsClub

      yes!

  • Eric

    (Imagine in a King Diamond voice, if you will:)

    “Taste the rainbooooooooooooooooow!!!”

    • bob

      awthum

  • Mike

    EVERYBODY, KEEP PUSHING, HE’S ALMOST TO THE DUMPSTER!

    • Brian MacKinnon

      ahahaha this is good… funny shit man!

  • \m/BC\m/

    FISHER PRICE GUITARS=TOTAL BR00TAL-NESS!!!!!!

  • blake banks

    the make-a-wish foundation makes a dream come true for one special, extremely burnt out individual, who buys guitars at toys-r-us

  • Corey

    Rock Band Tour Edition 2: now with crowd surfing mode.

  • Tim

    Light. Camera. Guitar!

  • Stephen

    Dimestore Darrell demonstrates their newest Guitar Hero rip-off.

  • Nic

    Check out this wicked solo I wrote for mom!

  • joe

    now thats one ridiculous acid trip

  • imnotfunny

    Walmart is now endorsing bands.

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Walmart and AC/DC are already an “item”

  • http://flickr.com/photos/iamsandorbalazs sandorbalazs

    ‘Queer Eye For The Metal Guy. New episodes coming soon.’

  • Brian MacKinnon

    When metal turns to extacy

  • Hungryfreak

    “Ever wanted to join a band, but were always too afraid of the drugs, fights and ear-shattering music involved? Then buy the new NERF band! Now available in guitarist”

  • shawn

    scott hull doing what he does best….

  • Dane

    So metal, it’s plastic.

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      I thoroughly enjoyed this, thank you

    • Stephen

      I second that.

  • Hideous

    This is what autistic children see when they play Guitar Hero.

  • sandorbalazs

    “This is gayer than power metal \m/”

  • BAGV

    “Wow”! now im a totally cunt, time to pull off pics of emo chicks online”.

  • Necrowizard

    In the midst of of his big guitar solo Walter realised he had never played guitar and was, in fact, high on PCP, having a seizure in an alley.

    • Mr. R.

      WIN!

  • dmlmd

    metal just got a whole lot gayer.

  • Dane

    chyeah, I can play “Through Fire and Flames” on expert…What the fuck do you mean E major? First of all, my buttons are color coded, and second, they’re all the same size, so shut the fuck up before you look stupid in front of all these people…

  • sandorbalazs

    ‘I HATE FASHION’

  • http://myspace.com/draculasgiraffe Ben Whitver

    1992 vomited, and then that vomit had sex with a bag of diarreha from 2007 and then invented the game guitar hero and took it on tour.

  • Max Livingston

    If this doesn’t show you why metal sucks, then I don’t know what does.

  • bob

    *sigh* if only I could really play guitar then I wouldn’t have to wear these totally gay shoes

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/SympathyKiss Andrew Coutts

    Thank god, I’ve got a pair of legs and ain’t disabled.

  • Neil Corbett

    Seconds later, he was dismembered and consumed by the rabid crowd.

  • Dave Brown

    when hipsters discover metal

  • Leonardo Ruiz

    The Future of Underground Metal…

  • http://www.myspace.com/awesome_james_price Awesome James Price

    Chris Cornell had too much coffee before the show!

  • Nate The Great

    Frustrated by forgetting to tight roll his jeans, L.C., lept into the crowd and tapped the buttons used to cover a lack of talent with the fury of squirrel. Metal Forever!!

  • Trent. Just Trent.

    Getting a rebellious trim from your aunt: $12.

    Buying new kicks to show off at the show: $70

    Paying your cousin back for stealing his toy guitar: $20.

    Pitching a fit after realizing that each of these posessions are not metal: Priceless.

    • bob

      winner!

  • Damon

    When guitar hero goes to far

  • Frankie

    Never thought I would say this, but video games are a bad influence on today’s youth.

  • SpaceCadet

    Because Gibson’s Robot guitar wasn’t lame enough.

  • KyleHasAMoustache

    Guitar Hero: at least it will keep morons from starting shitty bands nobody wants to hear.

    • Kevin Miller

      FTW

  • nick blase

    Jay Randall is finally cool now!

  • http://www.myspace.com/ovhecklar Benjamin Starling

    i think some poor bastard almost touch this faggot’s crusty sausage. good going dickface

  • Dillon

    Guitar Hero: Who needs real instruments when you got plastic!

  • http://www.dailymotion.com/user/emerald231/video/x90f11_mov01918_sexy jim

    get this guy’s ass out of my face ffs

  • Mr. R.

    Caption contest 5/5/09
    #1.Human dildo, holds plastic guitar dildo while being passed around by a bunch of dildos like a vibrator at craigslist anonymous sex party.

    #2.Gene simmons sucks off 12 year old SoCal homosexual, to keep him quiet he promotes his guitar hero career.

    WIN!

  • Shaun Lindsay

    “Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get-ar Hero!!”.

    • Jimmy

      *facepalm*

    • FuckMeWithVargsClub

      This was so stupid it made me laugh

  • Tony Polley

    ” When Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution join forces and have created “slam mosh guitar hero” out in Japan this summer” Comes Complete with super happy mosh shoes”

  • Leminster

    AP
    Faced With Alarming New Photographic Evidence, World’s Scientists Reach Unprecedented Consensus: “Entire Course of Human Technology Must Be Reversed”

    AP
    “Guitar Hero” Products Facing Worldwide Ban After Controversial Photo

  • casey

    ” this is awesome! i havent had this many guys touching my ass since i got backstage at a fallout boy show!”

  • Glenn

    James Hetfield’s wet dream come true.

  • Zodijackyl

    George Fisher-Price guitars, coming soon to a dealer near you!

  • Forrizzledog

    “I should play this game on acid all the time!”

  • justin mills

    doushbag it’s the new black

    • Kevin Miller

      haha

  • Kevin Miller

    Activision presents: Chump Hero

  • Kevin Miller

    Activision Presents: Tap Dance Hero

  • six fingered child

    quick! i’m grabbing his balls! you! take that kike’s wallet!

  • jacob baker

    I can’t wait to get done rocking out so, I can go and blow the rest of my gay ass band in the van.

  • Julian W.

    I don’t like his attitude, metal sucks.

  • http://www.myspace.com/krisneygrind Whitney Ovalle

    “i hide my love for men on the bottom of my shoes”

  • josh

    Trivium fuckin’ ROCK! dude…YEAH!!!!!

  • Chuck

    I’m to BROOOOTAL to play Freebird.

  • Patrick Wilson

    Last known photo of guitar hero mascot right before brutal truth fans and members of brutal truth completely ripped him apart. One fan stated they wanted to see if all the colors of the rainbow would pour out of him

  • Chase

    Scott Hull exposing the BRUTAL TRUTH about AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED- That the drums AND guitar are machine programmed! OH BURN

  • Zack

    Photo caption contest sparks a slew of lame, unoriginal, and homophobic submissions to metal enthusiast blog MetalSucks.net.

  • Cory Eiffert

    After blaspheming the Gods of Metal in a former life, this poor sould was banished to the most horrible fate known to man: The opening act of the fourth stage at Mayhem Fest, where budget cuts from the recent recession have forced him to craft an outfit from nothing but starburst wrappers and human back hair.

  • Damien L.

    In a bid to cut the budget during the recession Mr. Laiho replaced his guitar with something that could also repetatively play the same riff, however this time it ran on batteries and worked at the press of a button. No one seemed to notice.

  • Tim

    Maybe if i get a myspace too, they’ll play my songs on mtv and kerrang

  • Jesse

    Not an entry.. but doesn’t this shit look like the cover of one of those folders from elementary school?

  • JADAN

    THIS GUY GOT BORED WITH GUITAR HERO, SO HE BOUGHT GAY SHOES AND MADE GUITAR QUERRO

  • JADAN

    SORRY ABOUT MY PICTURE, MY FUCKING COUSIN DID IT, I APOLIGISE FOR THE INNAPROPRIATENESS

  • http://myspace.com/thenamelessmaggot1 Gerry

    ronald mcdonald’s part time

  • FuckMeWithVargsClub

    Janne Wirman makes a new solo album.

  • holmes

    Disney looking for new artists: as always, no talent needed.

  • kaiser999

    Damn, I shouldn’t have had that burrito!

  • kronzilla

    “New homosexual bands turns METAL to PLASTIC! \P/”

  • Moobeat

    WE ARE THE TRIVIUM SUPER FAN CLUB! UNITTTEEE

  • nrich

    Dreaming to become a bigger tool than the Jonas Brothers.

  • nrich

    Annnnnnd fuck me for not seeing that this contest was already over

  • jordan sulk

    dave navarro tries to play his heart out one last time for carmen electra at the arorora borealis festival 2010