EURONYMOUS TAKES HIS REVENGE FROM THE BEYOND, CASTS WOMAN AS VARG VIKERNES IN BLACK METAL MOVIE
Thursday, May 21st, 2009 at 1:00pm by Axl RosenbergSo. Blabbermouth tells me that a) they are adapting the entertaining book Lords of Chaos, about the history of black metal, into a movie, and b) some kid I’ve never heard of, Jackson Rathbone, is going to play Varg Vikernes. And people are apparently really, really upset about this bit of casting, either because Rathbone is a “teen hearthrob” who was in Twilight (or How Stupid Mormon Vampire Books for Little Kids Taught me to Save Myself for Marriage), or because he’s prettier than most girls you see at a metal show and they don’t know how to deal with that tingly feeling in their penis.
Personally, I’m not really offended, because, y’know, the movies never get these things right. Dakota Fanning is going to play one of The Runaways, MTV wanted Ashton Kutcher to play Tommy Lee in The Dirt movie, and someone cast a vagina in the role of Johnny Cash a few years back, so bad casting decisions are nothing new. In fact, the last time I can remember anyone doing a decent job with one of these kinds of movies was when Gary Oldman played Sid Vicious, and if you believe Johnny Lyndon, that movie was all horse crap, too.
In other news, somewhere Euronymous is laughing his ass off.
-AR
This is probably a good chance to mention that a black guy (Jamie Foxx? Can’t recall as of the moment) might be cast to play Frank Sinatra in his biopic.
That’s alright, I hear Sean Penn is playing Martin Luther King, Jr.
I heard William Hung was cast to play Elvis
It’s actually Michael Richards!
It’s coming out the same day as the movie with Jerry Seinfeld as Buddy Holly, The Soup Nazi as Richie Valens, and Wayne Knight as the Big Bopper.
Actually, that was found out to be a hoax. Turns out it was just some dumb rumor.
To be fair, Varg was kind of a fair-faced dude. Part of the hilarity that was Varg was how hard this cutie-pie was trying to seem (and geez, I guess he showed us, huh?).
They only did this to get Gaahl’s approval
Sick burn
I cant wait to see who Big Willy will play?
Well the person who casted the vagina as Johnny Cash was Johnny Cash himself. And we all know Varg was a heartthrob in Norway so why not cast someone who takes a load in the mouth like Gaahl.
Im actually interested to see how this is gonna turn out. Apparently Sion Sono is directing and his movies are quite disturbing.
That chick is hot.
i don’t know how to deal with this tingly feeling in my penis!
Wow. This is gonna be hilarious. BTW, I have to take issue with Joaquin as Cash. I thought he did a pretty rad job in that flick. Then again, I’m a huge pussy.
I agree with the pussy, Joaquin did an awesome job as Johnny Cash.
As long as the movie is done right, I think this casting decision is brilliant. You have a guy who has this career making underage girls puters wet and will draw all them in to learn about the greatness of black metal.
Its almost diabolical!
i might be able to make my girlfriend come see this with me, just cuz of this douche. how sick would that be
that would be awesome. This movie should be pretty cool. And lets be honest… we’re all just jealous because this guy’s way prettier than we are.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Maybe now Vinnie Paul can take revenge by casting Justin Timberlake as Phil in a Pantera biopic.
ooooooooooohh shit.! nice one.
To be honest, I could see it. Varg isn’t exactly metal looking. Also, Mayhem sucks.
Fail and epic fail.
A movie about the history of black metal? AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA. Okay I’m done.
And that, people, is why it’s called Acting.
Love and Rockets,
Shinaain
Damn, I was looking forward to this movie.
Hmm as a counterweight they should get Sylvester Stallone to play Euronymous.
So does this mean that Jack Black is Euronymous?
Don’t tease me: That dude would totally nail it.
No, really.
Love and Rockets,
Shinaain
I saw Jackson Rathbone in Big Stan. in that movie he played a long haired pussy who was scared of being raped in prison, so i don’t know why he’s being typecast again.
i think varg should do some more prison time on behalf of black metal.
if ya get my drift.
(and kill, whoever wants to cast this chick)
God, I’m going to have to go to beat all the stupid females over the head who just go to see this actor.
I see no issue with this, I can’t stand shit like Twilight but oddly enough many Black Metal musicians are unnaturally pretty for metal musicians, I blame Switzerland.
But I always blame Switzerland.
So I’m blaming Norway.
why hasn’t anyone mentioned the hair and makeup that actors go through
to do biopics?
and plus just because he had a small part in twilight doesn’t mean shit
kirsten stewart is fine as shit
and she’s doing a joan jett biopic.
so i think all these whining metal fans should just be glad
that they’re making a fucking movie out of metal
that wont be a disgrace to the genre (like Decline of Western Civilization Part 2, Some Kind of Monster, etc.)
according to wikipedia, varg got out of prison around the time this item was posted. i wonder if they will hire him as a consultant.
Well I’m not okay with this. This is fucking silly. I don’t really care that the actor from Twilight is playing Varg, except for the inevitable flood of fat mallgoths who are going to claim that they like black metal now. My concern lies in the fact that Varg hates LOC. There are many quotes where he expresses this. They could have made a movie with actual facts, instead of misconstrued lies by some random journalists who wanted to make money.
ya he’s not playing varg anymore