FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A HUMONGOUS PACKAGE FULL OF SPINEFARM RECORDS AND CHILDREN OF BODOM GOODIES
Thursday, May 21st, 2009 at 6:22pm by Vince Neilstein
Congrats to the winners of our most recent funny photo caption contest. For the first time ever, one of our winners’ entries was actually a response to another, less funny entry (yay threaded comments!). The winners, captions, and prizes they will receive are as follows:
jimmy: “A nu-metal guitar hero would never have that many buttons.” in response to wags: “Guitar Hero: Nu-Metal! Now with your favorite hits from Stuck Mojo, Nonpoint, Saliva and MORE!!! *goatee and clown shoes sold separately*.” (wins: Longbox CD edition of Agoraphobic Nosebleed’s latest Agorapocalypse + CD of Brutal Truth’s latest Evolution Through Revolution and posters of both bands!)
jorbams: “BrokenCYDE adds live guitarist.” (wins: Regular CD editions of both of the above.)
Dane: “So metal, it’s plastic.” (wins: Regular CD editions of both of the above.)
This week we’re giving away a ginormous package of goodies from Spinefarm Records and Children of Bodom. Seriously, this is so much shit that when you get the box you’re not gonna know what to do with everything. Check it out:
Apocalyptica – S/T CD
Apocalyptica – Amplified: A Decade of Reinventing the Cello
Apocalyptica – Live (dvd)
April – Anthems for the Rejected CD
Brother Firetribe – Heart Full of Fire CD
Ensiferum: S/T CD
Ensiferum: Dragonheads CD
Ensiferum: Iron CD
Kalmah – For the Revolution CD
Kiuas – The New Dark Age CD
Moonsorrow – Tulimyrsky EP CD
Rotten Sound – Cycles CD
Children of Bodom:
Are you Dead Yet?
Blooddrunk
Chaos Ridden Years (DVD)
Chaos Ridden Years (CD)
Follow the Reaper
Hatebreeder
Something Wild
Tokyo Warhearts
Spinefarm Hoodie
Spinefarm Logo T-Shirt
Holy crap! Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo and it’s all yours.
Lars Ulrich; Age 53
why wont the rolling stones just stop making music….:(
Everything that Fred Durst creates turns to shit.
“But i have no where else to take a bath mom!”
A good reason not to listen to Slipknot around your children(“People=Shit)
Varg Vikernes’ in his prison cell.
This what happens when little kids are forced to listen suicide silence all day long
Alive Shit: Binge & Purge (Metallica 1993)
Step 1: marinate in pisswater and feces…
Carol had her child six years ago, and she never even knew it.
Witness the genesis of future message board retards.
those damn C.H.U.D.S are breeding down there!
Metallica changed their debut album name from “Metal Up Your Ass” to avoid lawsuits from this kid’s parents. The new title, “Kill ‘Em All,” was referring to the shitty plumbers who left their wrenches in this toilet.
This is me, when I really do “take the kids to the pool”
Devourment are going to incredible lengths to promote the ‘Babykiller’ re-release, unfortunately Majewski forgot to flush.
MTV recently fimed a Death Metal themed Cribs. Here we see Glen Benton’s bathroom. Complete with Satanic toilet. It really does eat children!
one more goddamn Devil wears Prada song and I’m flushing myself…..
I’m trying to get Goldy back!! You didn’t have to flush him!! He LIKED swimming upside down!!!
Win right here
“Mom, I just shit myself.” (cue sad trombone)
This picture shows the formula Waking the Cadaver uses to record their vocals.
Crying Toddler + Flushing Toilet= Wigger Slam Vocals
ok, so this guy on the boards said all i have to do is shove my little brothers face into the toilet, and then record him screaming for help… and then poof, new oceano song!
Hey it’s Little Wes Borland! Better get used to that smell, kid…
Stop laughing and GET ME OUT OF THIS THING!! NOW! I’ll never criticize your music AGAIN!
“You can’t flush ALL of your mistakes down the toilet, dad!”
Jenna for the win.
“I leaned Bach too far! D:”
As seems to be the trend with Hollywood these days, the Ghoulies remake simply lacked the shock value of it’s predecessor.
The new Chris Cornell album WILL drive some of us to such lengths.
New stage prop for Gorgoroth’s new movie, Tru’r Norwegian Black Metal
Many years later Fred attempted the same stunt onstage at Ozzfest ‘98
Future member of iwrestledatoiletonce
“Look Ma, I’m Chris Cornell’s career!”
BWAHAHAHAHA!!
This is kayne west, only moments before he got into that fateful accident….
The true roots of screamo-crunk
aborted a little late don’t you think?
And another Blabbermouth commenter is born.
Copyright Romeo Rose 2009.
When I said “If Fred Durst isn’t brilliant, I’m a piece of shit” you didn’t have to take it literally! I was being sarcastic!
Now help me, my foot is stuck…
The annoying side effects of “so brutal, you eat babies”.
Bill struggled to recall his drunken outing the night before… what the hell did he eat?
press release photo for shit-core screamer Dumpy McFeces, promoting his new band; bullets for bury your oceano valentine across the sun while wrestling a bear in the sky.
“Mommy, please! When can bath-time be in the tub again?!?!”
“when you stop shiting bricks”
Stop Crying or you’ll have to eat the brown stuff by your foot for dinner!
And for Axl Rose, now over 40 years later, things have finally come full circle.
Lul
Fat Bastard’s turtle head, the aftermath.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
HAHAHAHAHAHA LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That joke was surprisingly high brow.
Good one.
With the ritual nearing completion, Disturbed could finally begin recording their next album.
dude alex ahahahahaha
KILL THE CHILDREN MILDRED, LIMP BIZKIT IS BACK!
The only storage space left for the little shit!
my daddy ate my eyes out
Avast! Man the cannons boys! Leviathan avises from the depths!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That my friend is highlarious.
My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch
Holy Shit Boy! What’d you Eat!?!?
Evidence of a metal musician’s household : un-filed taxes in the bath and children raised in toilets
“Surprisingly, a young David Draiman used to fail at creating shit.”
octomom becomes a mother…again
You heard of 2girls1cup, now we proudly present 1boy1bowl!
This wasn’t part of the training
Holy crap, told you it broke that one night a few months ago.
How many times do I have to tell you?! Mr. Hanky doesn’t want to be your friend!
Waking the Cadaver decided to return to their homeland, but unfortunately got stuck at the entrance.
After the members of Metallica (mainly lars and james) gang raped Kortney love, this child was spawed. He just sits in the shitter all day long screaming ” Daddies Daddies look i’mgoing to be just like you when I grow up.”
Flushcore
Anal Cunt reveal their new album art for Ha Ha your kid is shit
A young Vince Neilstein in the space capsule his parents found him in
im so metal that i eat virgins and shit babies!
For Psycroptic, he spins the opposite direction
Kids In The Throne Prune
You’ll shit bricks when you see it…
In Soviet Russia, brick shits you.
for the win
Does anyone else think that this kid looks a bit like a younger Brian Peppers?
No wonder he grew up to look like shit.
Failed attempt at Backyard, 18th Trimester abortion.
We all did this when we heard that Limp Bizkit was reuniting. It is the only safe place, hiding in shit, to get away from shittier shit.
Van Halen popularized the brown noise, this baby perfected it.
“I have to pee. Open your mouth.”
But mom! even if you sacrifice me you won’t stop limb bizkit from getting together again!
watch out its the flash of the turd!!!
Arguably the world’s (or at least Hot Topic’s) most renowned midget, the newly de-dreaded Dani Filth depicts where his musical career would have gone had he not started making music for gothic teenage girls. Unfortunately for poor Mr. Filth, the face being made in the photo is the look of a man who just stepped into some shat out of hell.
hmmm…thats strange…i don’t remember any clothes…
This is what happens when you do home renos without wearing a glove.
CHILDREN OF BOTTOM!!! he screamed in a narcotic wash of obviousness.
“I ain’t taking your shit no more, plunge me down scotty!”
We’re going to need a bigger plunger.
Merecedes, it’s too late for an abortion!
Jimmy’s time machine still had some technical kinks to work out. Fastway would have to wait.
Somebody put this kid out of his misery and give him a courtesy flush!
If my father was a fan of metalsucks I would try to flush myself too.
“Mom you told me I have to be a big boy and learn to go in the big toilet.”
This is where babies really come from.
“It’s the year 2009 and your Mother gets you a bowl haircut? Well, let’s see how she likes the matching pants!”
Zach Roloff yelling at his dad Matt, “Dad your direct access solutions stool didnt work !)
Quick honey, grab the toaster !
Mom the smell of your dooche makes me hungry
“See timmy thats what happens when you act like a dumbass”
The inspiration for Suicide Silence song “Lifted”
some parents just use coathangers to get rid of unwanted kids.
“I just realized that my current situation is actually worse than listening to a Bret Michaels solo album.”
Little Larry’s first time being constipated………..poor little guy never saw this coming.
iwrestledaturdonce
…and I ended up losing”
“Miscarriage”
after getting pregnant off of his band’s toilet seat, it took Dani Filth 9 whole months to actually stand-up.
Torsofuck are running out of ideas for inspiration with lyrics.
Dino Cazares’ first child is born: Sustantivo Cazares.
Look, it’s the new single for Children Of Bodom’s cover of Overkills “Hello From The Gutter”
Look son it’s not personal, its just what you deserve for being alive
Hey you! You little pisser! I’m talking to you. You’re supposed to give me some pee pee! Where’s that pee pee? Where talking about pee pee! I need that pee pee!
OH NO MR. TOILET MAN!
“WIPE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Q: Whats is a simularity between my van and my toilet?
A: they both have toddlers in them.
Chad Gray of Mudvayne gets his inspiration for the song “Poop Loser”.
Peter Griffin is right: children are born from the butt.
Devin Townsend’s humble beginnings.
Ghoulies V: The Cross Breed
Dick Cheney: “BUT I’M BOMBING GERMANY, MOM!
Disturbing Metal Trends Case Study #46 – Offensive album covers: Reunited, Carcass take controversy to levels not seen since the release of ‘Wake Up And Smell The Carcass’ with their first release in over a decade, appropriately titled ‘ Extremely Post-Natal Abortions and Scatalogical Ruminations’
I said I need TP, bitch !
Aw now I have diarrhea feet …
Swine flu’s a bitch …
“This kid looks the way I feel”
Shortest album review ever from Blabbermouth.
Lambgoat rears its ugly head.
I AM NOT A PIECE OF SHIT DADDY!!!!!!
” Holy shit , wheres my auto-tune ? ” – Oli Sykes.
Looks like that controversial 16th trimester abortion didn’t take…
So metal, it’s porcelain
Disposable heroes, disposable tampons
Wow I didn’t think eating all that swedish fish would make that come outta my ass?
or he just heard oceano
“I’d be honored to accept your waste…”
If you are laughing at this helpless child, go kill yourself.
Look kid, the fish is fucking dead! Get over it!
The visual concept behind Dream Theater’s “Falling Into Infinity”
CONGRATULATIONS!
IT’S A BOY!
“…and that’s how Vince Neilstein got so traumatized that started a crappy metalblog years later”
“Help! I thought I was at the Brokencyde concert, but there’s too many actual feces here!”
“mommy, help! i went looking for limp bizkits career and fell in!”
“Junior… JUNYA!!! Stop crying already. If you would’ve broken that worthless Oceano CD I just bought, everything would be okay. But NNOOOO… you had go and break Meshuggah CDs with your Bob the Builder hammer. Now your getting the toilet bath, and I learned from last time. See how I moved Mommy’s things into the tub?? See? She aint gonna find out I did this to you again.”
Newest addition to Limp Bizkit reunion package: Screen cap from live-action comedy Limp Biz Babies.
And when lars ulrichs baby cousin got stuck in a toilet he came up with the metal up your ass album art
A past winner of a MetalSucks humongous package giveaway………..now the family must resort to bathing in the toilet since the bathtub is full o’ freebies.
Poor kid got stuck in Ozzy Osbourne’s artistic integrity.
Tad Doyle’s bathroom after a night of Mexican food.
“HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HERE!?”
The metal gods took a dump and alas, the birth of Phil Anselmo!
how i felt when there were hardcore dancers at the misery signals concert a few days a go
“just clean the dam tub because these baths SUCK!”
Dammit, Britney, wasn’t there sameplace else you could have put Sean Preston down while you were in the tanning booth? K-Fed’s gonna have a fit!
Myles Ulrich must have been caught illegally downloading Daddy’s music again…
Toilet demons again? Who the hell keeps drawing the pentagrams on our pipes?
…Aw, shit.
You cannot flush all of your problems down the toilet.
Holy crap !!!!…. I’d better go back
About 13 trimesters too late for an abortion.
Avenged Sevenfold, In the beggining
Coming soon to a theatre near you…Ghoulies V- Ghoulies Go Obese.
Holy shit it’s Flukeman! Kill that motherfucker!
“Should have used a condom”
Nothing is more metal then bathing in your own Filth; Danni would be jealous.
But Mom!! I wanna sing like Susan Boyle! I have to look like shit first!!
i promise to not never listen to oceano again daddy
Before Mark Renton could embrace his heroin habit, he first had to overcome a vicious addiction to Flintstone’s chewable vitamins.
Quit laughing, Dad! There was nowhere else to take a bath!!!
Argh! its dragging me down with it!
To all barren women and sterile men: Taco Bell finally created a dish that will literally make you shit children. Eat up!
The origins of Germany’s most underground music scene: Scheißemetall
Yes. Can I help you with anything? I’m a little busy.
OH FUCKING MY GOD! A picture-taking bear! The most diabolical of all the combinations. I must hide somewhere…
Sneak peek at the Rob Zombie adaptation of “The Grudge”
HAH! Win!
***UPDATE***
I’ve recently stumbled upon an article in the latest issue of Revolver….. When asked about the stark realism in contrast to the original “THE GRUDGE” ,Rob Zombie replied, “YEAHHHHHHH!”……
I’d give you a link to the article, but it get’s predictively repetitive, with every other answer being, “YEAHHHHHH!”
The results of your Jenkem habit. Kids n Shit.
Baby go down the holeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Bulimic Cattle Decapitation fan’s lunch.
This is what happens when you don’t flush your prom abortions.
Is that Riki Rachtman?
The alternate cover art for the first Korn album
Black trim, shown here around a large sink, is not a good match for dark brown wood.
You’re doing it wrong.
Sounds like my honeymoon
“Dad, I thought you said this was the way to China?”
“I thought it was choclate”
What was just another day of young Fred Durst turned into the day when his musically genius idea of Chocolate Starfish was born, but it was also the same day that he decided that eating from them was not a good idea
THIS SHOULD WIN
“upon hearing that both creed AND limp bizkit were doing reunion tours in the same year young rodrigo couldnt take it so he decided to flush himself down the toilet because floating in a river of sewage is much more enjoyable than knowing people are paying $50 a ticket to hear “arms wide open” and “nookie” played live one more time”
If you’d have smashed all the Metro Station CDs quicker, we wouldn’t be in this mess…
Come on Dallas…Your career died last night and we had to flush it before it stunk up the whole house. We will go to the store and buy you a new and better one tomorrow! I hear pizza hut is hiring. Now come drink your milk and mommy will sing you to sleep.
Holy shit Axl, what did you eat?!?!?
Axl will never let uncle Buck put him in time out again.
The cover of young Steven Pearcy’s first solo album, “Out Of The Toilet.”
Even long before Limp Bizkit came about… Fred Durst still knew he was the shit…
If there’s a picture of your son in a toilet on the internet, you might be a redneck.
A young Flo Mounier could not have realized that him and his career would be in the same spot thirty years later…
The basTURd son
Vinnie Vincent: The Early Years
Why it’s little Alexi, from Children Of Bogdom
Little Jimmy was very upset when he discovered the true origins of deathcore.
Kalmah in-studio update:
” I decided to drop my kid off at the pool today so I could finally make some progress on the new songs”.
Metallica: Shitage Days (1995-2009)
“Little did young Freddie Durst know how this traumatizing potty training mis-hap would later serve as repressed, sub-conscious inspiration for a TOTALLY RETARDED stage prop…”
Dude, it’s the cover for “Mother, I Made a Faecalite Columnar Acumulation” Mars Volta’s latest single!
“But mom, I thought there were more Snickers bars where the last one came from!”
Relapse Records reveals the cover art to the new Nirvana “Nevermind” grindcore cover/mash up album, “Come Again?!”. The album features grindcore artists from the Relapse roster performing medleys and mashups of “Nevermind” and their own songs.
Tracklist includes:
Pig Destroyer – Territorial Piss Angel
Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Breedmaker
Brutal Truth – Smells Like Teen Fisting
Genghis Tron – Come As Your Arms
And more!
Coming Fall 09.
It’s official: Limp Bizkit’s music makes kids cry; then attempts to steal them from their lair.
they always said they would put me where i belong….
The human embodiment of Black Label Society’s Shot To Hell album.
if we could only flush our problems away……..
SON!!!! did you find my hell yeah cd yet?…….NO? Get back down there and dig.
Goddamnit son, that’s NOT how you jerk off…
Preliminary artwork for the newest Waking The Cadaver/Diskreet split.
Shit!!! The FEDS are at the door!!!
Quick flush the Meth down the toilet!
I siad the METH you stupid bitch!!!!!!
“No, mr Michael Jackson, I’m not trying to escape!”
In Soviet Russia, brick shits you.
Eh, it’s all just crap anyway…
Drowning Pool
Right after after the poor child watched Ghoulies part 9….
Little Jimmy wanted to know what Devil Wears Prada was like so……
Leaked photos of Fred Durst’s childhood autism
they all float down there. I wanna float too”
so throwing alligators down the drain is an old fashion thing?
when there is no pool and all else fails, go for the toilet. till you get stuck.
thanks god they didn’t throw those boxes down the drain, they could get stuck!
we were playing hide and seek mommy.
i saw it on the internet, thought i would give it a try.
wikipedia said it was possible. we all know they “never lie”
The best part is thats actually my brother
A perfectly dysfunctional family: kid in the toilet while a perfectly clean kiddie-shitter is 3 feet away, daddy’s office work is in the tub while mommy takes pictures to prove that her life does in fact, suck this much.
Damn, This isn’t the way to Albuquerque!
You caught me offguard and I lol’d
“You don’t even know how to play chess.”
“Yeah I do. King me.”
“It’s not funny my ass is on fire!!”
“just plug in the fucking toaster, turn it on, and throw it in with me so i can get this shit over with.”
The pink wall tiling was Axl’s idea
And Chris Farley thought living in “a Van down by the River”
edit: and Chris Farley thought living in “a Van down by the River” was bad
The cover of Immortal’s new album
The cover of immortal’s new album
This is my photoshop work, and why this is the third comment I have posted
EXCLUSIVE! NEVER BEFORE SEEN PHOTO!!!
The lost clip from Suffocation’s “Abomination Reborn” music video.
btw i love suffocation \m/
Don’t worry Spongebob- I’m coming! My mom has problems with crabs too so I know just what to do!
I wanna be a “Ninja Turdle”
This is what Cartman’s mom should have done when she wanted that 32nd trimester abortion.
breaking news!
Economy has deeclined to near nothingness
Families are forced to move in to cramp bathrooms..
What’s more horring, little kids are forced to sleep
In toilets. (god knows what goes on in the toilet while the child is in school)
And we wonder why so many kids are exposed to swine flu.
This has been your channel 5 breaking news.
This is the worst prom night ever!
Well Mom you said take a bath. Your the one using the tub to store your vinyls and crap.
Last night must have been a big one… I think I’m glad I don’t remember it!
Well, you gotta wash up somewhere, and the tub is full of all that shit…
I swear if you don’t turn off that Britney Spears music, I’ll flush it!
Metal up your ass…but not are prone to it.
I couldn’t find the plunger.
Help mommy my ballbag is pinched !
Andy Dufresne age 4
Been waiting all day for a hot chick to come and sit on my face
Fans were surprised to see how faithful the biopic Limp Bizkit Origins: Fred Durst was to its source material.
Limp Bizkit jokes are too obvious, unoriginal, and unfunny. There’s like a hundred of them here.
Jesus Christ.
I think he got the wrong idea after being told he was Heir to the Throne
” The brown note, they Fuck**ng found it!!! “
holy shit
I didn’t know I was pregnant.
Wow… And I thought the octomom’s pussy looked like a manhole…
“Taking Butchered at Birth to a whole new meaning.”
Hey, this isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened… Remember when nickelodeon execs sold your childhood memories to Devil Wears Prada?
WHOA!!! Why are the newspapers in the bathtub?
Looking on, Bloodbath was inspiried to write “Eaten.”
Bono– Humble Beginnings
“Mwahaha, they’ll never find me in here!”
Playing hide and seek with the IRS isn’t smart, especially when the incriminating documents are right next to you.
I’M NOT A POO MOM!
wow… even at that age, Lars Ulrich was already full of shit!
now that I’m covered in shit,m Michael Jackson won’t touch me any more. WOOHOO! Freedom!
wow these comments have gotten progressively worse
I hate when you leave your tampons in here mom, you make the whole room smell like pennies…
“Mommy called me a little shit…so I figured I’d sleep in the toilet.”
Baby Luke! did you find a copy of Grand Declaration of War in there?
who needs drano
better to be pissed off then pissed on
i am tired of people shitting on me
you aren’t leaving me here, brett michaels! there are consequences to banging skanks on reality tv!
There should be a limit to the number of responses allowed for these photo contests…how many weeks is it gonna take you guys to declare a winner this time? Plus it would eliminate a lot of duplicates
“I would rather flush myself then listen to your goddamn radio metal, Dad! I would rather have been aborted than listen to anymore All That Remains!”
When I said take a shower, I didn’t mean a Golden Shower!
Ok, the recipe calls for 1 cup “Krunk”, 1 cup Cher and 1 cup Screamo. Then we sacrifice a child to the Almighty Sewer King. Alright I think I got this…HOLY SHIT!!!!
And so brokeNCYDE was born
Hello, hello!
I came out of the toilet bowl,
So come sit down, and let it flow,
so I can have something to eat.
“MOMMY!!! I WAS LISTENING TO THE NEWEST TOO PURE TO DIE ALBUM AND I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF BUT I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND NOW IM STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK!!!!”
iwrestledaterdonce
Its down the drain from here on out
That las t step is a doozey
On the heals of the success of his Arnold Schwarzenegger spoof band “Austrian Death Machine”, Tim Lambesis of As I Lay Dying fame has recruited his 2 year old nephew to front his new “Potty Mouth” inspired supergroup As I Sit In A Toilet Crying.
On the heals of the success of his Arnold Schwarzenegger spoof band “Austrian Death Machine”, Tim Lambesis of As I Lay Dying fame has recruited his 2 year old nephew to front his new “Potty Mouth” inspired supergroup As I Sit In A Toilet Crying. Also featured playing lead guitar in the band will be none other than Buckethead’s 3 year old son, Shithead
He was just so obsessed with metallica…
“I just wanted to ride the lightning so bad!”
Lars Ulrich moments after hearing Death Magnetic leaked.
I can’t believe I at the whole thing!!!!
“It’s for your own good Son, Limp Bizkit have reunited”
I thought Metallica was kidding when they said ‘metal up your ass’!
I come from the water.
“Why is all of this stuff in my bath tub??!!!?”
daddy said i has a lil ass soo ive gotta use a lil seat but i fink my ass is big nuff cuz daddys ass is like my ass
” The creation of emo”
condoms are easier to flush
New Wave of Death Metal vocals training session – I’ll give you GUTURAL!!!!! MUAH HA HA HA…….