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Ask Oderus

ASK ODERUS: MR. URUNGUS, AT YOUR SERVICE

Friday, December 4th, 2009 at 1:30pm by

gwar oderus urungusGwar frontman / Fox News interplanetary correspondent Oderus Urungus is back for another round of his famed MetalSucks advice column “Ask Oderus.” Got a question for Mr. Urungus? Be it about life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, Gwar, prosthetic dongs or any other topic that’s burning a whole in your humanoid heart, leave a comment below and Oderus himself will pick a few to answer next week.

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  • DidgeryDo

    Oderus. I was wondering if the revelation of Lady GaGa being a tranny has altered your desire to make intergalacic relations with him/her/it. Also has “Pokerface” gone from annoying to slightly disturbing? How many Lady GaGa dongs would it take to make you vomit all over yourself.

  • DidgeryDo

    dong

  • DidgeryDo

    tranny

  • DidgeryDo

    relations

  • DidgeryDo

    vomit

  • DidgeryDo

    I give up. I can’t find the word that was getting me modded. wait was it dong plural? dongs?

    • msv81

      Hahahaha.

    • More Metal Than You

      I’m pretty sure mentioning “Lady Gaga” will get you modded on this site… or, one could hope.

  • DidgeryDo

    him/her/it lady gaga

  • Stiggs

    Journey or Foreigner?

    • HueyLewisandTheFaceless

      Survivor.

  • Johnny Death

    Dear Oderus,

    Could you please let me know what your prefered method for cleaning a sperm n slide is?

    Sincerely,

    That Guy

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Forde/666126214 Brandon Forde

      Ahahahahahaha I love GWAR.

  • deanerhead

    Which has had a greater influence on your artistic endeavors (for you personally, not necessarily the rest of the band): NAMBLA or bestial porn?

  • Patrick

    Do you and your fellow extraterrestrials know about and or practice the art of birthday sex?

  • GunMetalGrey

    Your favorite comedians?

  • Beard

    I recently saw a girl in one of my classes with a GWAR shirt on. I had my suspicions if she actually knew who GWAR were (not that anybody REALLY knows), so I talked to her about the shirt and she said she thought it was cool and really didn’t know about GWAR. Should I kill her, sodomize her, kill her then sodomize her, or make her my girlfriend and cheat on her? I’m open to suggestions.

    • Discipleofthewatch

      Why would she wear the shirt if she doesn’t eve n know who the band is? The response still doesn’t make any sense to me. Maybe you should make her listen to their music.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Keith-Brown/537636633 Keith Brown

    Can I borrow a dollar?

  • Captain Blacklung

    My question is this Oh Lord of all that is filthy and impregnable. If you had to be anally penetrated, would you rather it be Salvadore Dali or Mickey Roarke? And would you ask for a reach around?

  • Hugh

    Why do old people smell like that?

  • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/62449cbe5ea8d22bcc2e76890fceaa37.png Lord Bling

    What’s your favorite video game? I’d imagine you’re a big ‘MadWorld’ fan.

  • Jedsan

    Oderus.

    Do you know the whereabouts of ZOG?
    Also, where was Gor-Gor at the Montreal show?

  • tomaas

    What is a good age to declare yourself dead and make progeny?

  • Double D

    I banged this chick last night for the 3rd time and I have been noticing that whenever we fuck, she starts sweating really bad and starts to stink a little. I don’t think she wears deodorant. I kinda like the smell, but it kinda disgusts me. I kinda like that it disgusts me. Thoughts?

    • msv81

      LOL….

      PLEASE answer this one, Oderus.

      • krunkulor5000

        i think its raw pheremones, i almost got with a hippie chick because of that until i aaw her hairy armpits

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Richmond/766910388 Jonathan Richmond

    have you ever wanted Devin Townsend to get you in contact with Ziltoid The Omniscient? I think you would make powerful Allies. eh?

    • Lil fofo

      This.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

    will you ever write a book about your interplanetary travels?

  • Discipleofthewatch

    Is Oderus the one who called Alexi Laiho “Alex?”

    • krunkulor5000

      hahahaha BRILLIANT!

  • Ron

    what would be the best way to have sex with every female creature in the universe?

  • HueyLewisandTheFaceless

    Dear Oderus, since she has announced she is leaving her television show, do you believe Oprah is going to run for president of the united states in 2012? Ever killed Oprah?

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    Dear Oderus,

    Which is more adorable, puppies or kittens?

    Love, groverXIII

  • SLENDER

    My friends mom is smoking ass hott but he’s kind an emotional bitch, I wanna make sexual relations with his mothr but I think He’ll get pissed, what should I do…?

    P.S she wants my dick to and we wanna have kids and start a family with him in it, now what…?

  • http://Www.hibernum.net Hibernum

    Dear mr. Urungus,

    what is the best Christmas gift you’ve ever given? And the best you’ve ever received?

  • gauche

    who is your favorite reality tv celebrity?

  • roseman5285

    Mr Urungus,

    I recently discovered that necrophilia doesn’t actually have penalties in 29 of the 50 states and in the District of Columbia. Even some of the ones that do have laws against it count it as a misdemeanor. What are your thoughts on the governments decision on this and do you have any advice for one looking to engage in necrophilia (the fact that they cannot say no is very appealing to me).

    • BoB_Spldbckwrds

      for the win

      • Lybrium

        1

  • Taber

    Do you keep Micheal Jackson face after you chop it off? Fucking Lamb of God/ Gwar tour kicked ass!!!

  • WowWee!

    What will happen on 2012?

    Will we be over run with your offspring? or Will we all be destroyed by you?

    Will you spare the hot woman?
    Will you keep the crack, booze, weed, and speed?

  • Eye of Newt

    How many female fans do you have?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vince-Soliveri/1353043542 Vince Soliveri

    Favorite Non pornographic TV show to masturbate to. GO GO GO!

  • krunkulor5000

    find out if lady gag-a (giggle) is really a hermaphodite, heard she said shes female cause her dick was little, hahahahahaha (herlawyerdeniedeverything)

  • rupert

    are you a tits or an ass man/thing?

  • Spatula

    Will I ever become a real boy?

  • inhumanrampager

    Dear Oderus Urungus,
    How are you prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse?

  • WowWee!

    Are you going to feature in DTP’s Deconstruction?

  • Wayne

    I’ve heard that one day GWAR will train younger musicians to take up the reigns once you retire/return to space. What could one do to get on that list and what kind of ritual would it require?

  • Mike

    Oderus, what is best in life? I always thought Conan kind of had a pussy answer for that one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Guzmn/570745539 Daniel Guzmán

    Do you eat cats or is it just Alf’s thing?

  • d00shc00gr

    How can I arrange to be killed onstage the next time you play Detroit?

  • Gaia

    What was the last album you bought?

  • grizmaster

    what was it like playing your only show in iowa a few years back? why didn’t you destroy that maggot filled toilet before you left?

  • http://www.myspace.com/sciomancy hater_guy

    what the hell is really going to happen on December 20, 2012? A new Gwar release album with special effects of literally blowing up the entire planet?

  • Noel

    Hello, sir. Can you please decapitate Sarah Palin on stage? or you can slew her guts all over the audience….your choice.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/62449cbe5ea8d22bcc2e76890fceaa37.png Lord Bling

      THIS.

  • pigchop

    alright, I want the fucking truth – if 15 million fingers are learning how to play, why the hell are guitar manufacturers not investing money in finding a motherfucking cure for arthritis? As a matter of fact, why the fuck has GWAR not discovered the cure?

    Well?

  • deanerhead

    When can the guy who wrote you that letter from Scallop Boat expect his royalty payments?

  • deanerhead

    I heard that Gwar once played a show with the legendary Gene Simmons in the crowd. Is this true? If so, why didn’t you get him to join you on stage by dropping some change?