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Music Dorkery

“SYMPHONIC BLACK METAL MIGHT BE THE WORST KIND OF METAL EVER INVENTED”

 Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 at 2:30pm by

death_cult_armageddon

So says Cosmo Lee at Invisible Oranges in a piece about the (admittedly pretty sucky) band Carach Angren. But I take serious issue with this declaration.

Would Cosmo really rather be trapped in a room listening to Cold or Trixster or Winds of Plague, who he once said “may be the worst band I have ever heard,” than Dimmu Borgir? I’m certainly no stranger to the use of hyperbole in order to make a point and/or be funny, but somehow I doubt that Cosmo really means that symphonic black metal is the worst kind of metal.

(I’d also be curious to know what Cosmo thinks of Sigh’s upcoming Scenes from Hell. I know that’s not symphonic black metal in the traditional sense, but I don’t know what else you’d call it.)

Read Cosmo’s entire article here, then let us know what you think in the comments section below.

-AR

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  • ab12

    well see, there’s this band called emperor….

    • IAmTheClitCommander

      Yes there is indeed. At least somebody here knows great music, because Axl obviously doesn’t ore he would’ve mentioned them.

      • Honeynutzz

        I think Emperor deserve higher praise then being the first band that comes to mind when you think of symphonic black metal.

        • http://www.omimetal.wordpress.com The Greys

          ab12 nailed it. If Cosmo can’t find something to like about Emperor’s “Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk” or “In the Nightside Eclipse,” I would say maybe he should find something to blog about other than metal, because he seems to be clueless about the genre.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dane-Grib-Snyman/642310835 Dane Grib Snyman

            Emperor is so epic, i wear my emperor hood with pride

  • http://jordanmunson.wordpress.com Jordan Munson

    “Progenies of the Great Apocalypse” is one of my favorite songs. Dimmu Borgir have a couple really solid albums.

    • Benito

      Death Cult Armageddon is an awesome cd, along with Enthrone Darkness Triumphant” and Mourning Palace.

  • Trux

    I firmly believe Black metal is the worst kind of metal ever invented… let alone symphonic.

    • Natalie

      agreed.

      • Russell

        Really?…. Why? Let me guess…. You guys like Five Finger Death Punch huh?….

        I love Black Metal and think that most of it is pretty good.

        I agree that some Black Metal is harsh and hard to listen to. But something as epic sounding as Dimmu is just amazing. I wonder what this guy thinks of Abigail WIlliams then….

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dane-Grib-Snyman/642310835 Dane Grib Snyman

          As much as i love old dimmu albums… they sold out HARD with their new crap :/ Abigail williams is like one of the only U.S based bm bands i actually enjoy, any1 heard their old melo death stuff xD? Lets just say switching was the best thing that ever happened to them

    • msv81

      Me too

    • I’m not racst, but I hate Oceano

      black metal is good when it’s mixed with other genres like Nachtmystium or Anaal Nakrath

    • http://lordsofmetal.nl/index.php?lang=en Cavorka

      Agreed

  • The Overmatt

    There’s plenty of worse subgenres than symphonic black metal. Although I did get tired of all the mallgoths going on about Cradle of Filth and Dimmu Borgir, there’s some damn quality releases to be found from those bands. Oceano or Winds of Plague? Not so much.

  • WowWee!

    This band always make me want some burgers for some reason and for some reason demons, I don’t know why.

    • Utmu

      Could it happen to have something to do with the fact that Metalocalypse had a burger joint called “Dimmmu Burger”?

      • Utmu

        Dimmu*

      • Brownsound

        I laughed so fucking hard when I saw that on TV! The girl that was watching it with me didn’t get it :|

  • http://schenkeltown.blogspot.com SchenkelTown

    the worst kind of metal is the metal i don’t like

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michel-Giroux-Burroughs/574086565 Michel Giroux-Burroughs

    I hate black metal, symphonic or brootal or Scandinavian or Asian.

    I hate black metal. Period.

    • BlakMetallistKrieg

      Then there’s plenty of Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park for ya, man. Blink 182 might also be your style.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Edward-Wilfred/100000007099811 Edward Wilfred

    Not the best, but FAR from the worst.

  • J-Ho

    What about Summoning? They were good.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dane-Grib-Snyman/642310835 Dane Grib Snyman

      Good mention, specially land of the dead…

  • Bicro

    Dimmu Borgir is pretty bad.

    The symphonic label can be pretty damning in some cases, but not all. It takes effort and talent not to come off cheezy.

    • Russell

      what do you mean by bad? Bad musicians? No. They are a very talented band and deserve credit for making Black Metal sound a little different than just thrash guitars and lyrics about satan.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Niraj-Patil/25502582 Niraj Patil

    Symphonic black metal has its place in time. I remember hearing Dimmu’s Reptile song for the first time in a record store and I’m pretty sure everyone (all four of us) came in our pants. That album was just brilliant.

  • Dysenteric

    I’m not the biggest fan of BM, and symphonic BM I just hate. But the worst kind of metal is a close call between deathcore and nu-metal. Closely followed by 99% of brutal death metal.

    Some BM I really like. Look up Volahn and Ashdautas.

  • Alex_P

    I honestly haven’t listened. I like Sigh, and I hate Dimmu Borgir. That’s about as much opinion as I can venture.

  • meat mincing machine

    Done right it can sound ok, but a lot of the time it sounds just a little too gothy

  • Kye

    I’m going to second the guy who mentioned Emperor and leave it at that

  • Legions: iron and steel

    Emperor, Sigh, Sear Bliss and Summoning are all amazing.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/M60Patton Patton

    Vesania, nuff said.

    • Blashyrkh

      YES. honestly, I had to scroll down this far just to find someone who mentions them?

  • Facebook User

    Rap metal is by far the worst sub-genre of metal — or, perhaps more accurately, the worst genre of “music” ever used to slander metal publicly. Black metal may be cheesy but it is far and away better than a lot of other types of metal (anybody remember that Zakk Wylde attrocity Pride and Glory?).

  • gallo666

    It seems that symphonic black metal is the commercial facade of the genre, I guess that`s why there is so much hatred around it.

    For some great un-commercial symphonic black metal check Obtained Enslavement`s first three records.

  • rachel

    Dimmu somehow got the Prague Symphony to do the orchestra stuff on Death Cult Armegeddon. Yes, it is dramatically different from Stormblast, but I personally love DCA.

  • gauche

    Baby Metal. THAT’S the worst kind of metal. they can barely play their instruments!

    • http://myspace.com/duckbillz Duck Billz

      Hahaha!

  • chris

    puritanical euphoric misanthropia is good shit. death cult is aite. pretty much everything else they did sucks.

  • BlakMetallistKrieg

    “Oh Dimmu suck, Dimmu suck! blahblahblah!”

    God forbid complex song structures and variety of textures, right? Fuck you guys. Go listen to some perpetual blast beat grind or something. Or turn on a blow dryer and listen to that for a half an hour, it’s the same thing.

    • BlakMetallistKrieg

      oh, and the guy at Invisible Oranges talked about listening to rap and Jannet Jackson, so everything he says is void to me.

      • http://myspace.com/duckbillz Duck Billz

        BUHHHH STUFF THAT I LIKE IS GOOD AND STUFF I DON’T LIKE IS NOT GOOD BAHHHH

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Guzmn/570745539 Daniel Guzmán

    There’s no such thing as a worst or best genre, and if there were one, symphonic black metal would certainly not be the worst. Cosmo Lee should listen to Aspera Hiems Symfonia by Arcturus or anything by Emperor.

  • Brandon

    Obviously the douchebags that run this site and the other site mentioned in this post have never heard of Emperor, Limbonic Art, or even DB’s first two albums.

  • nick a.

    metalsucks guys. why dont you just suggest your readers to subscribe to the invisible oranges blog instead of posting something everytime cosmo lee posts something. not trying to be a dick.

  • Harold

    The only problem with this genre is that no one can mix synths and guitars together. They always class and wash everything in reverb.

    The worst metal is Christian Metal.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Langlands/768970243 Sean Langlands

    The amount of articles bashing sub genres of Metal posted here is ridiculous. I actually just discovered Carach Angren a few days ago and I must say, I’ve been listening to Lammendam non stop and love their sound.

    People need to grow the fuck up and move on.

    “SYMPHONIC BLACK METAL MIGHT BE THE WORST KIND OF METAL EVER INVENTED”

    Are you fucking kidding me?

    Oh and listen to Brandon, “Obviously the douchebags that run this site and the other site mentioned in this post have never heard of Emperor, Limbonic Art, or even DB’s first two albums.”

    /,,/

  • NoNameNoSlogan

    Wow, Cosmo’s post is retarded.
    Here’s some advice kiddies(whether you want it or not) No matter what musical genre it happens to be, if you hear a band and you like it, cool.
    If you don’t like it that’s cool too. Form opinions for yourselves.

    Just because some douche-nozzle with a metal blog makes broad generalizations about one genre or another doesn’t mean you have to listen to their bullshit. That goes for this blog as well.

  • Scourge441

    Dimmu Borgir’s most recent stuff is hardly black metal anyway, so it’s kind of pointless bringing it up whether you’re trashing or praising the symphonic black metal genre.

  • OoB3ASTIALoO

    i like winds of plague, but they are in no way black metal

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    Septic Flesh…

  • joost89

    Septic Flesh is more Symphonic Death Metal, but they own big time. Symphonic BM worst subgenre? My ass… So yea, Emperor… nuff said. And Dimmu Borgir is awesome, 90% of the haters just hate because it is popular anyway. Reptile and The Mourning Palace are awesome songs and they have quite a few solid albums. But I can’t take Invisble Oranges serious anymore anyway :)

  • Jizzmaster3000

    Nothing will ever be worse than Slam Metal, nothing.

  • Fufkin

    Are Cold really one of the worst bands ever? Really? They made a couple of decent albums before Scooter Ward went south.
    You praise Shinedown and Skunk Anansie here but utterly despise Cold – it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense in my simple mind. I just don’t understand the variation of human opinion – it cannot be quantified and I dislike that.

  • bobovdeath

    cold were shitty nu-metal wuss shit.

    worst kinds of metal-

    tough guy butch death metal
    rap metal
    funk metal
    nu-metal
    fabio metal (that love rock shit like whitesnake and steelheart)
    butch metal (that manly shit like black label society and godsmack)
    poser black metal (like nicholas cages sons band,that kind of black metal)

  • steverazor

    I love Dimmu Borgir. Black metal has evolved and moved forward. Shagrath and Silenoz are brilliant and prolific musicians. My 15 year old (at the time) daughter listened to Death Cult Armageddon while we were in the car and described it as “beautiful”. Dimmu create powerful and well structured modern symphonic black metal. Cosmo is a retard. Perhaps we need yet another sub-par metalcore band polluting the metal landscape. Or worse yet more nu-metal or rap-metal. Sorry Cosmo but you are way off on this one.

  • Joe

    When it comes to Symphonic Black Metal it never has and never shall be topped by the mighty EMPEROR.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJo9kE4kTdU

  • emperor26

    Nop Your Wrong the worst is Pornogrind and New Grindcore in General. But I Have great admiration for the old stuff like napalm death and Carcass everything else Fucking Sucks!!!

  • y4d1

    nevermind whatever the genres are, the most important is the music,does it suit u or not, that’s all, thank u