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Contests

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A FREE MEMBERSHIP FOR VIDEO GUITAR LESSONS WITH THE PROS AT JAMPLAY.COM

 Thursday, September 1st, 2011 at 4:30pm by

Last week we offered up two month-long trial memberships to video guitar lesson website JamPlay.com. The new Disqus commenting system on MS has made it extremely easy to sort through the best and funniest comments (not that winners are based totally on comment popularity, but it helps). Here are this week’s winners:

  • Shaun Reeves: “Look mom! Oreo people!”
  • Jim: “Wolfgang decides to stop riding his dad’s coattails and joins Immortal.”
Last week’s contest proved popular, so we’re doing it again: for all you guitar players out there, we have two free monthly memberships to the guitar lesson website JamPlay.com. For those not in the know, JamPlay offers live, interactive video guitar lessons with an impressive array of players, many of them the wizards of metal we know and love: Tosin Abasi, Emil Werstler, Kris Norris, Dave Davidson, Doc Coyle and many more. Two of you will get to have your pick of the litter for an entire month, all for free! The rest of you can sign up for a free one-week trial courtesy of MetalSucks; sign up here. To win the full month membership leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (sent in by reader Shaun A.). Remember to use a real email address (or post it along with your comment if you’re using FB Connect / Twitter etc).

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=530649722 Roy Fry

    So that’s where all the new Staind albums keep coming from . . .

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=530649722 Roy Fry

    So that’s where all the new Staind albums keep coming from . . .

  • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com Alkahest

    The first crystal meth dispensary opens up in southern California

    • http://twitter.com/orbsonb Ben Robson

      if this doesn’t win, there is no justice in the world

      • Dred Furst

        no, there’s just a lot of meth dispensaries in Cali already.

    • http://twitter.com/orbsonb Ben Robson

      if this doesn’t win, there is no justice in the world

  • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com Alkahest

    The first crystal meth dispensary opens up in southern California

  • blackjustice

    Where Jynco jeans are born 

  • blackjustice

    Where Jynco jeans are born 

  • colbow

    dead end

  • colbow

    dead end

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002182298476 Colin Frazier

    Give us a tooth, well give you some music.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002182298476 Colin Frazier

    Give us a tooth, well give you some music.

  • Tom

    Oh thse guys are the contractors on the Fred Durst sewage plant they are building  in Austin

  • Tom

    Oh thse guys are the contractors on the Fred Durst sewage plant they are building  in Austin

  • Beowulf

    The Ghost Of Fred Durst’s past is shining through the light in the corner.

  • Beowulf

    The Ghost Of Fred Durst’s past is shining through the light in the corner.

  • Fred Durst

    They make dissposable plastic spoons.

  • Fred Durst

    They make dissposable plastic spoons.

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    “We wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see what fills our factory first.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1522601830 Liam Genghis Connors

    Your one-stop shop for dreadlocks, masks and angry white people rapping!

  • Obey the Badger

    We produce the best cookie cutters money can buy!

  • http://twitter.com/Meemperor Matt P

    The worlds #1 producer of masks and hair gel. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001259901114 Alex ZoSo Brown

    “Producing Some of the Greatest Albums That Murdered Metal Music”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=6410765 Nick Benigno

    http://www.numetalproducts.com/index.shtml
    leader in the screw machine industry

  • False Nate

    Even though they’ve added an address to the sign, the think-tank behind KoRn and Limp Bizkit’s greatest hits can’t hide that they get their material from a highway rest stop bathroom.

  • Dred Furst

    World leading producers of Jnco-wearing, zit-faced, daddy issue-inspired teenage angst since 1995.

  • Teababe27

    Get down with the signage.

    teababe27@optonline.net

  • Redpyramids

    specializing in koRn processing 

  • Jason M.

    260 East Prairie Street rocks harder than your dad.

  • Dingas McCloud

    NOW HIRING

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Little/100000727322349 Jon Little

    “We specialize in faux-scary masks, Drop R tuning, Tripp pants, and Wayne Static’s hair gel.

    zyko_demon [at] yahoo dot com

  • Trev

    “PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: The following Nu-Metal products have been recalled: Orgy, Factory 81, Unloco, Powerman 5000 and Primer 55. If you have any of these products, please contact our safety department and/or Victory Records.”   

    necrophecy@gmail.com 

  • Michael Ward

    A fine establishment, as long as you don’t break stuff.

  • SunMcLob

    No Timmy, we’re not going in this store. It’ll make you want to wear Adidas and grow dreads.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jordan.oates1 Jordan Oates

    “Specializing  in magnets.”

  • Kurt

    Why Sepultura started to suck.

  • Action_Jackson

    “0 days since our last accident”

    • Ferris

       ^^^ That’s a great one. Nice & subtle.

    • Ferris

       ^^^ That’s a great one. Nice & subtle.

    • skullsession

      Win.

  • JohnnyDeath

    I was walking one day, just doing my Rock & Roll thing making millions of bucks when i came upon a sign. However this wasn’t just any normal sign, so i put down my meth pipe and took a seat on the crete. As i looked up at that sign i saw a shining bright light and in that bright light, Jesus came to me. He spoke to me and told me how the path i was leading was wrong in the eyes of his father. It was on that day that i knew i could no longer be a part of Korn.

    Brian “Head” Welch

  • Steve-cfh

    Out of business!

  • ChuggaChuggaDeedlyDeedlyDoo

    Proudly dumbing metal down to its lowest common denominator since 1997.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Seth-Jones/736964211 Seth Jones

    FUCK YEA!!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Juzika Domagoj Juzo Junuzović

    At Nu-metal products, inc. we recycle the crap you never listened in to more crap you will never listen! Call now!

  • Myk

    Leaders in creating contrived, dull metal from 1994-2002

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002189573344 Jim Slim

    Must have 4th grade reading level to apply.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002189573344 Jim Slim

    Must have 4th grade reading level to apply.

  • Anonymous

    Making you ma’ fucka’s bounce in tha pit since ’97, bitch!

  • Anonymous

    Making you ma’ fucka’s bounce in tha pit since ’97, bitch!

  • Anonymous

    Because 260 is the nu 666.

  • Anonymous

    Because 260 is the nu 666.

  • Matt S

    Business was never the same after the Metalcore supply store opened up across the street.

  • Matt S

    Business was never the same after the Metalcore supply store opened up across the street.

  • Judasdespair

    Owned and operated by Fred Durst.

  • Judasdespair

    Owned and operated by Fred Durst.

  • Clayton Russell

    The street entrance to Korn’s studio.

  • You Don’t Know Me

    And thus the late 90′s were born…

  • Willits30

    Coheen and Cambria should send a bass player of here to blow the place up!

  • Willits30

    Coheen and Cambria should send a bass player of here to blow the place up!

  • AGHAST

    The Midwest, the only place on earth to still care about nu-metal.

  • AGHAST

    The Midwest, the only place on earth to still care about nu-metal.

  • Wardeezy2409

    “Roadrunner decided to lay low after that Shawn Crahan Interview”

  • Wardeezy2409

    “Roadrunner decided to lay low after that Shawn Crahan Interview”

  • Anonymous

    “We also buy your shitty metal an recycle it”

  • Anonymous

    “We also buy your shitty metal an recycle it”

  • Ferris

    …was on its way to being a Fortune 500 company until Fear Factory moved into the neighborhood.

  • Ferris

    …was on its way to being a Fortune 500 company until Fear Factory moved into the neighborhood.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gustavo-Aquino/100000553856211 Gustavo Aquino

    “Real Music not allowed.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gustavo-Aquino/100000553856211 Gustavo Aquino

    “Real Music not allowed.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/raz0rb Luis Ferraz

    “We’re running out of Thrash, Death, Heavy and Black, what can I put to mix with this Metal?”
    “What about that box in back, that says ‘RAP’?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/raz0rb Luis Ferraz

    “We’re running out of Thrash, Death, Heavy and Black, what can I put to mix with this Metal?”
    “What about that box in back, that says ‘RAP’?”

  • heavymetalnz

    This might be the only shining light in this genre

  • http://twitter.com/gogmagogical gogmagogical

    “Yeah, greenhorn…back when I started in ’99 that yeller light was burnin’ red. That’s back when we useta turn out the superchargers. Oh, well, the more things change…”

  • BigDan

    Years later everyone would deny every doing business with them even though they still have some of their product stashed away.

  • Alex

    One of the few companies out there specializing in alchemy.

  • Phobophobia

    Makers of beard dye and plates that you can drop on asses.

  • Phobophobia

    Makers of beard dye and plates that you can drop on asses.

  • Patrick McCarthy

    NU-METAL
    PRODUCTS, INC.

    “HAVE ANOTHER”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=37505884 Matthew Christopher Lamb

    “Let’s see here, Mr. Reignz is it?”

    “Under experience, you have listed Overnight Custodian, Nu-Metal Products, Inc. Is that correct?”

    “Ah well, everything seems in order. The job is yours. Here is your puffy jacket, flat-brimmed cap, and official Caucasian’s Guide to Urban Hand signs. Welcome aboard Mr. Reignz, see you Monday morning!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000866625703 Jaymz Stupidname Hina

    Makers of ball necklaces and skatting white rappers.

  • Seventh_asylum

    ” I knew somebody was fabricating these fuckers”

  • http://www.facebook.com/scttsteve Steven Scott

    “Try out our new Korn huskers! Sure to strip your band of any christian members, as well as unveil the radio-friendliness deep within your Korn!”steven_scott[at]student.uml.edu

  • random guy

    Order your new Korn album while supplies last (talent not included)

  • Tcritz

    Do NOT use this company’s metal to build a bridge it wouldn’t be strong enough to hold a hot wheel much less a car.

  • Fixxxer5

    better than our  no solo  policy is our no refund policy

  • Fixxxer5

    better than our  no solo  policy is our no refund policy

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Krispijn-Smith/791679483 Krispijn Smith

    F.Durst, CEO of No-Metal Products, inc:’Damn I shouldn’t have ordered this plate by fax.’

  • Omar

    Turning out Shit since 1993.

  • Maggie Hoffmann
  • Jules

    Welcome to Nu-Metal Productions, we take pride in offering you a smack in the face, and then selling and re-selling it back to you.

  • Adsfasdfasdf

    “Home to the worldy famous professors Dr. Shinoda and Mr. Durst, known for developing weapons of mass sonic destruction as a part of the CIA´s plan to conquer the middle East by terrorizing them with bad music”

    lolapalooza@gmx.net

  • Oats4234

    Nu-Metal: Supported by the light of God

  • seal clubber

    Our brand new location is located at 21 JUMP-DA-FUCK-UP street.

  • Ceasar

    By the looks of the sign this place has been outta business for a long time ;) 

  • Slaughterhouse

    Nu-Metal Products, recycling lame ass records since 2002

  • Slaughterhouse

    Nu-Metal Products, recycling lame ass records since 2002

  • Alex678

    Where sub-par musicians are packaged for the masses

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amber-Weidenhamer/100002236031154 Amber Weidenhamer

    Shouldn’t the company logo be printed in a font like ‘Drop R Sans’ or ‘Durstvetica’?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amber-Weidenhamer/100002236031154 Amber Weidenhamer

    Shouldn’t the company logo be printed in a font like ‘Drop R Sans’ or ‘Durstvetica’?

  • Mreno

    September special: 1000 12 Guage rings $250 plus shipping and handling.

  • Mreno

    September special: 1000 12 Guage rings $250 plus shipping and handling.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=39112054 Josh Cline

    The cock shaped light above the sign should have been enough of a warning.

    joshcline1982@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=39112054 Josh Cline

    The cock shaped light above the sign should have been enough of a warning.

    joshcline1982@gmail.com

  • DieByTheChord

    Buy six strings and get the seventh for free.

  • Chris Berseth

    “Your #1 Source of Chocolate Starfish and Hotdog Flavored Water”

  • Randy Blythes Liver

    “Nu-Metal Products- Producing Sub-par Power chords and inaudible screaming and yelling about high school experiances since 1998 NOW WITH FREE DUBSTEP”

  • http://www.facebook.com/ernie.collins Ernie Collins

    Shitty sign, shitty music.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lee-VanOrder/100000653487566 Lee VanOrder

    Producing the world’s supply of terrible since 1994

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lee-VanOrder/100000653487566 Lee VanOrder

    Producing the world’s supply of terrible since 1994

  • http://better-guitar.com Dave

    I have to go now. I having an old fan for dinner…

  • http://better-guitar.com Dave

    I have to go now. I having an old fan for dinner…

  • howfen

    Where you can buy: Korn Flakes, Limp Biscuits, EvanesIncence, Hed PEaster baskets, P.O.D.V.D’s, Nonpoint pens, and ” I can’t believe Slipknot’s butter.”

  • howfen

    Where you can buy: Korn Flakes, Limp Biscuits, EvanesIncence, Hed PEaster baskets, P.O.D.V.D’s, Nonpoint pens, and ” I can’t believe Slipknot’s butter.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=40608454 Blair Goodman

    Finally taking the advice of their high school guidance counselor, the members of Taproot decide to test their entrepreneur skills to the mercy of their home town of Ann Arbor, MI.

  • otis

    Protected by the light of god. You won’t find Satan in this metal.

  • Anonymous

    Record execs were actually going to call the genre Nu-Finish but figured that no-one would actually see where they got the name Nu-Metal…That is until they installed a light.

  • Fixxxer5

    dear wife

    ” I just settled in at my new job at the nu metal products company , its a hard job working there as a janitor.  I mean my god i never seen so much TRASH “

  • Spiral_void

    NU-METAL PRODUCTS, INC. – Ignore Us Please.

  • thepenismightier

    Satan willing they’ll be out of business soon.

  • Mel_bass

    This sign should have a disclaimer similar to the one on packs of cigarettes talking about how it may be harmful to your health.

  • Mel_bass

    This sign should have a disclaimer similar to the one on packs of cigarettes talking about how it may be harmful to your health.

  • hollywoodbliss

    got what you neeeed jack

  • hollywoodbliss

    got what you neeeed jack

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Cleaton/1215874149 John Cleaton

    Axl Rosenberg’s home address is finally made available to the public.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Cleaton/1215874149 John Cleaton

    Axl Rosenberg’s home address is finally made available to the public.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ryanchristmastimeschwartz Ryan Schwartz

    100% of customers can’t be wrong: “I can totally believe it’s not metal.”