Earlier this week, film director Tony Scott jumped to his death from a bridge near Long Beach, CA. Scott is famous for many films, including Top Gun, The Last Boy ScoutTrue Romance, and Crimson Tide; one of his less successful outings was Domino, a 2005 actioneer that was scripted by Donnie Darko director Richard Kelly.

I didn’t really like Domino, and to the best of my knowledge, Kiss’ song of the same name (from 1992’s Revenge) is not about Domino Harvey, the real-life woman who was the basis for the movie. (She was a model and her father was movie star Laurence Harvey, so it’s not entirely implausible that she crossed paths with Gene Simmons at some point… but that’s not exactly hard evidence or anything, obviously.) But I’ve been reading the title Domino over and over and over again this week as I followed the story about Scott’s death. And, in case it isn’t clear where I’m going with this, I got Kiss’ “Domino” stuck in my head as a result. (I would much prefer to have that Roadrunner United “Enemy of the State” song stuck in my head, but since Peter Steele never actually sings the titular phrase or anything in English or any other real language, no such luck.)

And you know what’s, like, way more fun than just listening to “Domino” by Kiss? Watching the video for “Domino” by Kiss.

The theme of this clip seems to be “relics of the past,” as exemplified by Gene Simmons’ car, the presence of a bum who gives your car window an unsolicited cleaning, and Paul Stanley’s hair.

The “storyline” follows three-fourths of Kiss as they dutifully rehearse in a room by themselves, wondering “Where the fuck is our bass player?” Meanwhile, Simmons drives around looking like a really creepy unemployed dude who doesn’t know he’s not cool anymore and isn’t aware that he’s a white Jew who couldn’t sell the whole Low Rider bit to a blind person. He scams on a number of women, at least one of whom looks young enough to be his great-great-granddaughter, in a number of creepy ways, including using a gas pump as a penis substitute, an idea so clever that surely it was thought-up by a small child. Simmons was only forty-three at the time this was filmed, which is kind of unbelievable; he already had the kind of leathery red skin octogenarian Boca residents strive for. Seriously, I cannot dream that any woman of sound mind would watch this and think “I wanna fuck Gene Simmons.” (If she thinks “I wanna fuck Gene Simmons… for his money,” well, that’s a whole other story.)

But that’s the thing; this video wasn’t made for women. It was made for dudes — probably adolescent and pre-adolescent dudes who don’t know any better, and will happily buy into this fantasy of the God of Love who gets more pussy than a toilet seat. This probably explains why I thought “Domino” was a really cool song when Revenge came out. (I don’t remember loving the video, but I don’t remember hating it, either.)

ANYWAY, you can watch the actual clip below. I hope it provides you with some chuckles.


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