MetalSucks
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Why are metal fans hopelessly stuck in the past??? :(

Is this from 1993 or 2013??!

With the exception of maybe classical, I cannot think of a genre more fixated on the past than metal. I’ve been listening to metal for 25 years, and from what I can tell, the metal scene has remained frozen in 1995. In contrast to other genres, who are all about what’s fresh, new and interesting, metal just seems content to keep talking about the same fucking bands year after year after year, and I just don’t get it.

For example, look at the lineups of these two recent fests. I am pretty sure that MISERY INDEX is the newest band on the main portion of the bill, and they are 15 years old!! The rest of them might as well torn straight from the reviews section of Metal Maniacs in 1996. I mean it’s 2013 and someone gave top billing to fucking MORGOTH?!?! Really???? They were the definition of “bands whose album I bought in 1993 on cassette for $2, listened to once or twice and forgot about because zzzzzz.” Or look at the last few guests on the MS podcast: Billy Milano (SOD/MOD), Death Angel, Slayer, Deicide and DRI. Those are all 80s bands!!

I don’t really even think it’s a case of the typical, idiotic “older = better” mentality that you see so often in music. Yes, there is a certain amount of that, but I think it’s mostly that metal fans are just totally stuck in the past for whatever reason, like your uncle that corners you at family gatherings to lecture you about how they “don’t make cars like they used to” and the ’69 Mustang was the last good car they ever made and how you should quit driving that Honda Civic made out of plastic by some Orientals and get a REAL car. Replace “Honda Civic” with the contemporary band of your choice and “’69 Mustang” with Death or Metallica and it might as well be the comments section of this site.

I feel like there are two things going on here:

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s pretty embarrassing. I mean fucking MOVE ON you losers — things have changed since the days when the Super Nintendo was the console of choice, Bill Clinton was president, and Miley Cyrus was just a lump in her daddy’s pants. If you’re in a band, do something new and different that we haven’t heard literally 10,000 times before. And if you’re a fan, up your fucking game and learn to appreciate innovation.

Categories: Greatest HitsGreen Eggs and Slam
Tags: olds
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