Reunion Mania

Disturbing Disturbed News

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disturbed morning wood spaceship or somethingNo “Golden Age” can last forever, and, depressingly, it would appear that The Golden Age of There Being No Disturbed is rapidly coming to a conclusion.

Yes, we’ve had four good years of peace, prosperity, and, best of all, no monkey noises… but on Saturday, the nu-metallers posted an updated version of their logo on Facebook:

Disturbed New Logo 2015Later that same day, the band posted this incredibly long, incredibly boring video of their mascot sleeping on a spaceship (or something):

And then, yesterday, they posted this video, which is shorter but also way too long for no reason, of their mascot sleeping on a spaceship (or something) while sometimes moving his extremities:

Now, I know I’m not a great investigative reporter like Geraldo Rivera or Nancy Grace, but these messages would certainly appear to indicate that Disturbed are readying their return. I’d guess that at some point today they’ll even post another overly-long animated video of their mascot sleeping on a spaceship (or something) and getting morning wood, and then tomorrow they’ll post ANOTHER overly-long animated video of their mascot sleeping on a spaceship (or something) and then hitting the snooze button when his alarm goes off, and then Wednesday they’ll post ANOTHER overly-long animated video of their mascot sleeping on a spaceship (or something) and then finally sitting up, and then Thursday they’ll post ANOTHER overly-long animated video of their mascot in the bathroom on a spaceship (or something) bending over the toilet at a ninety degree angle so as to be able to pee through his morning wood without splashing urine all over the place, and then, finally, on Friday, they’ll they’ll post ANOTHER!!! overly-long animated video of their mascot, at last, announcing their comeback, presumably while making breakfast in the kitchen of the spaceship (or whatever) and getting the kids ready for school. That seems about right, doesn’t it?

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