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Sh*t That Comes Out Today: April 22, 2016

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Hello MetalSucks reader! Welcome to Sh*t That Comes Out Today, your Satanic bible of this week’s heavy new releases. We list ‘em, we spotlight ‘em, we link you to their preview jams and full streams — and we usually stick ‘em in a fancy Spotify playlist too (below) — all for your jammage! Now crank this shit up.

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30000 monkies30,000 Monkies
I Ate Myself To Grow Twice As Big (Consouling Sounds)
On a playlist with: Shebrew, MIAVA, ???
Listen I Ate Myself To Grow Twice As Big full stream (here)

As if the band’s name and the album’s title didn’t give it away: this shit is weird as fuck. Oftentimes that’s not a good thing. Sometimes it is though, and this is one of those times! Punchy, experimental, blackened, noisy, etc. It’s the experimentation here which makes the sale. Also, think about it: if you could eat yourself… that’s like being able to grab onto your shoelaces and pull yourself up!

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BeastwarsBeastwars
The Death Of All Things (Destroy)
On a playlist with: Kvelertak, Bossk, The Golden Grass
Listen The Death Of All Things full stream (here)

A forceful resurgence of heavy stoner rock would be saucy. The distinction here is heavy, obviously, as a lot of stoner rock is far too chilled to flow like hot liquid. The Death Of All Things is a rock album get-behindable. It works as hardcore driving music, while also being moody, touchy, and definitely under an (the) influence. As they say: “obey the riff.”

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DalekDälek
Asphalt For Eden (Profound Lore)
On a playlist with: Techno Animal, Faust, The Young Gods
Listen Asphalt For Eden full stream (here)

Hip-hop and metal have had an, uh, interesting relationship. Most attempts at breeding the two end horrifically. Maybe it’s the clash between music discordance and lyrical rhyme? Maybe there’s some kind of beat-based disagreements which aren’t resolvable? Dälek have kind of figured something out: don’t use any metal. That’s right, no metal! Just ambient beats, trance-like atmosphere, and minimalist vibes.

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The Wretched EndThe Wretched End
In These Woods, From These Mountains (Indie)
On a playlist with: Emperor + The Lion’s Daughter + Satyricon
Listen In These Woods, From These Mountains full stream (here)

How sticky would your tentacles get if you learned that members from Emperor, Windir, and Dark Funeral had combined forces? The Wretched End is that force-combination, and black metal is the name of the game. In These Woods, From These Mountains is actually textbook black metal, straight from the spicket. This isn’t bad: it’s only to say that there’s much gone right and little gone wrong.

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PhalloplastyPhalloplasty
Necrophagic Funeral Ritual (Redux) (Gore House)
On a playlist with: Pancreaticoduodenectomy, Amygdalohippocampectomy, Hemorrhoidectomy
Listen “The Sick Room” (here)

For the same reason we can remake the same gore/horror movies ad infinitum, we have Phalloplasty and albums like Necrophagic Funeral Ritual. And unless you’re some kind of square or something (certainly not), it shouldn’t bother ya. Pinned as “one man brutal slam,” this one man brutal slam is truly fucking br00t, i.e. duh-level mechanical drumming and what sounds like actual barfing.

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SarcoptesSarcoptes
Songs And Dances Of Death (Cimmerian Shade)
On a playlist with: Batushka, Aquilus, Mgła
Listen Songs And Dances Of Death full stream (here)

Lean back and interlock your hands behind your head and put your stink-feet up on a pile of skulls. Prepare your ear-holes for Songs And Dances Of Death, an album so lovely you gotta write it twice: this album is so lovely. Symphonic, diabolical, and above all else: effortlessly classic. Sublime. Anything else, or shall we conclude for this afternoon? Concluded.

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DominhateOTHER SHIT THAT COMES OUT TODAY

The 69 Eyes Universal Monsters (Nuclear Blast) listen
Aborted Retrogore (Century Media) listen review
Autokrator The Obedience To Authority (Gods Ov War) listen
BoneHawk Albino Rhino CD (Ripple) listen
Braindamage The Downfall (My Kingdom) listen
ill wickerChris Ousey Dream Machine (Escape) listen
Darkness Divided Darkness Divided (Victory) listen listen
Devilz By Definition The Devilution (CDN) listen
Dominhate Emissaries Of Morning (Lavadome) listen
Doomsday Ceremony Black Heart (Greyhaze) listen
Elephant Tree Elephant Tree (Magnetic Eye) listen
ETHS Ankaa (Season Of Mist) listen
Live BurialEverything In Slow Motion Laid Low EP (Facedown) listen
The Foreshadowing Seven Heads Ten Horns (Cyclone Empire) listen
From The Depths From The Depths reissue (Hells Headbangers) listen
Good Tiger A Head Full Of Moonlight (Metal Blade) listen
Ill Wicker Untamed (The Sign) listen
Implode The Anti Cimex EP (Cramada) listen
Incite Oppression (Minus Head) listen
Magick TouchLive Burial Forced Back To Life (Dunkelheit) listen
Magick Touch Electrick Sorcery (Edged Circle) listen
Massive Destination Somewhere (Earache) listen
Media Solution The Prelude EP (Pavement) listen
Messenger Threnodies (Inside Out) listen
Minotaur Beast Of Nations EP (High Roller) listen
Mirrors For Psychic Warfare Mirrors For Psychic Warfare (Neurot) listen
tombstoned iiMortichnia Heir To Scoria And Ash (Apocalyptic Witchcraft) listen
Mutterlein Orphans Of The Black Sun EP(Sundust) listen
Nomads Love It Or Leave It (Melotov) listen listen listen
October Tide Winged Waltz (Agonia) listen
Putrisect / Scorched Final State Of Existence (Edged Circle) listen
Rainbow Monsters Of Rock: Live At Donington 1980 DVD/CD (Eagle Rock) watch
Reptilian Perennial Void Traverse (Edged Circle) listen
zealotryStar Dancer Welcome To My World (Star Dancer) listen
Svoid Storming Voices Of Inner Devotion (Sun & Moon) listen
Syberia Resiliency (Debemur Morti) listen
Texas Hippie Coalition Dark Side Of Black (Carved) listen
Tombstoned II (Svart) listen
Various Artists Brown Acid: The Second Trip (Riding Easy) listen
Wytch Hazel Prelude (Bad Omen) listen
Zealotry The Last Witness (Lavadome) listen

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