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DALLAS COYLE ON ALL OF THE METALLI-BASHERS

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DALLAS COYLE ON ALL OF THE METALLI-BASHERS

Why The World Needs Metallica…

It’s funny. It really is. I’ve been bothered by the bullshit I’ve seen regarding the new Metallica album. People are shitting on the album left and right, not paying respect to one of the greatest bands ever and it’s complete fucking bullshit… I’m not saying you should like something just because it comes from a certain band, I’m saying you should like it if it’s good. And news fucking flash: THE NEW METALLICA IS THE SHIT!

The really sad thing is Blabbermouth got it right with the new Metallica record! What in the fuck world are we living in? With this new Metallica album and the reviews I’ve been seeing, I feel we’re living in an opposite reality. How is it that Blabbermouth gets it right and the majority of Metalsucks reviews looked like an Iann Robinson night at the movies? Straight haterade. It makes me think of politics (again). Why is McCain holding on? People just don’t see good shit in front of them when it’s there. Or it’s like Katt Williams says: people hate good shit.

To those people who gave the Metallica album a BAD review, give a good fucking reason why. And spare me your Barack Obama voting, elitist post-Black album bullshit. Give me something real. How does this new record NOT sound like Metallica? Cause it’s not TR00? Fuck all that. My bro and I were chilling out and listening to the new Metallica rocking out like when we were kids. It was crazy. We’re talking about the record and he says,’You were the first person to give the album a good review…’ I thought about it and I thought, ‘That is fucking sad.’

How is it that people these days don’t have the respect to actually give their ‘idols’ the respect they deserve? And let’s be honest, Metallica are idols to many people. Most of the people who were reviewing their records, I guarantee you, idolized Metallica. Now they turn their backs. Maybe it’s because we live in a country where we expect to see our idols fall and get shit on. It’s fun to shit on ‘The Hoff’ when his ass is wasted and eating a sandwich off of a floor. It’s fun to see Glen Danzig get knocked out on Youtube. But guess what? There’s a reason you want to see them fall. You wouldn’t care about some random dude getting knocked out. No. You wouldn’t.

It’s good to see someone who has more than us fail. That’s the nature of our society and I understand that. This is why it makes sense when people say God Forbid are over the hill as a band. They want us to be over the hill. Trust me, when people hear our new record, their foot will be in their mouth… Or will it? This is my point. Our new album is pretty damn impressive as we get these mixes in but the people who are hating won’t give a shit. To them we’ll always be emo-core shit. You see what I’m getting at?

With Metallica’s new album they’ve given you no reason to hate. IT’S A GOOD FUCKING RECORD! I dare some of the motherfuckers on here to wait about a month or two and re-review the record with an open mind. With that said they’ll give it the same review. They want everything to be the same as it ever was. Nothing ever stays the same. You have to be flexible with what you can accept and won’t accept. Maybe people fail because they don’t understand the ramifications of a stagnant world.

It makes me think of  a line The Joker says in The Dark Knight. “An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.” When that happens everyone ends up in misery. People like being miserable. They don’t want to be happy. It’s like, ‘Hey, Metallica sounds like Metallica again…’ They’re like, ‘Great… sounds… great…” The sad thing is they don’t even listen. Normal people are listening and Metallica is doing it again. They are changing the paradigm once again. The world needs Metallica right now. Fuck it, I need Metallica. We’ll never tour with them but we’ll do better with a new, good Metallica album out there! And so will you.

I’m sorry dudes, I gotta do it. Blabbermouth called it right on the new Metallica. I’ll give them that. But those same people who love the new Metallica will vote for John McCain? This world fucking sucks. You elitist Barack Obama voting, Metallica haters need to rewrite some reviews! Let’s re-establish some order, bitches!

Hornz!

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