Hollywood Undead’s “Hear Me Now” (lyric video above) is a terrible song, but I understand why white kids from Westchester or Toledo or wherever people go to raise children they don’t love would like it; it has angsty lyrics,  a strong hook, and rapping that is very slow and caucasian, and therefore non-threatening. It’s one of those pieces of music that I personally can’t stand, but the appeal of which is not a complete mystery to me.

On the other hand, if someone told me they enjoyed Jonathan Davis from Korn’s new remix of the song, I would be totally baffled, and my first instinct would probably be to submit them to shock therapy or something like that.

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Vince isn’t here, so I guess it falls to me to take over his regular “Neilstein SoundScam” column… BWA-HA-HA!!!

Some of the more noteworthy sales stats from the latest Top Hard Music charts after the jump!

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Red State Radio Rock reigned supreme once again last week on the increasingly meaningless Soundscam charts. Metal fans won’t find much to be happy about as none of the albums we highlighted last week charted, but there are some interesting stats about Ozzy Osbourne and others after the jump.

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Butt rock reigns yet again, with Seether nabbing the top spot for the second week in a row. Boris and Cave In cracked the Top Hard Music charts with their new albums (hooray!), while Hollywood Undead and Asking Alexandria actually experienced sales gains for the first time since their new records debuted a few weeks back (boo!). Click on through to see what else charted and how much it all sold.

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Seether are still around? Apparently they are, and apparently they still sell buttloads of records. While Seether nabbed the top spot on the Top Hard Music chart, Scar Symmetry also had a good debut, as did, um, Vampires Everywhere. Foo Fighters, Hollywood Undead, Black Label Society and others are still selling lots of records too. Numbers after the jump.

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Foo Fighters fans fretting that Wasting Light would relinquish its hold on the meaningless Soundscan charts after dropping to #2 last week after three debut weeks at #1… fret not, as Dave Grohl and co. are back up top! This week’s #2 comes in the form of a big surprise, as Zack Wylde’s Black Label Society sold a ton of copies of the acoustic equivalent of a remixes album.

Lots of interesting action elsewhere, too, with new records by Anvil and Hate Eternal making the charts, and a bunch of other strong sellers. Also: a case study in Sixx A.M. / Motley Crue chart history, another one on the myriad Aerosmith greatest hits collections selling gangbusters, and on Metallica’s Master of Puppets‘ chart legacy finally coming to an end.

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The Foo Fighters and Hollywood Undead were finally toppled from their respective #1 and #2 spots last week after holding down the fort in that order for three straight weeks prior (with Hollywood Undead at #1 the week before Foo Fighters’ debut), but rest assured, they’re still at #2 and #3 and show no signs of letting up. Nikki Sixx’s new Sixx A.M. record nabbed the top spot on the Hard Music Charts this week, undoubtedly due to this record-shifting post.

Elsewhere, Shinedown debuted their new live album, another Poison greatest hits collection flopped, and some other bands sold some records too. The numbers:

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In the absence of any big metal debuts, this week I decided to run with a question posed last week: how does Amon Amarth’s current chart-buster Surtur Rising stack up against their past releases? After the jump, a look at those numbers.

Foo Fighters were #1 and Hollywood Undead were #2 for the third week in a row on the Top Hard Music charts; elsewhere, Otep Shamaya had a nice debut and shitstains on the ass of the universe like Winds of Plague and Asking Alexandria also had solid weeks. Whoopie.

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The Foo Fighters are #1 for the 2nd week in a row; I have yet to hear Wasting Light but everything Dave Grohl puts out is quality and the two songs I’ve heard so far are both slam dunks. Conversely, Hollywood Undead are #2 for the second week in a row; can’t win ‘em all, I guess, but at least they’re not #1.

Elsewhere Winds of Plague, Periphery and Loaded had solid debuts, while pretty much any band that was on Revolver’s Golden Gods Awards show experienced a nice little sales bump. Numbers after the fold.

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Two days late but not two dollars short, I figure ya’ll might like to know how all the albums that came out last Tuesday (April 12th) fared sales-wise, even though I think we can all agree that album sales aren’t the be-all-end-all measure of a band’s success. So without further ado, here’s how the new Between the Buried and Me, Foo Fighters and Red Fang albums sold last week.

Also, Dave Grohl is a very rich man; in addition to the ginormous debut of his new Foo Fighters album, seemingly every Foo catalog album made a return back onto the charts this past week.

Right, the numbers:

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My usual source for Soundscan info is on vacation this week (asshole!), but thankfully the always-reliable Metal Insider is there for me with their weekly Metal by Numbers column. Rather than go through the whole chart since I don’t have it at my fingertips, let’s just focus on new releases that came out last week:

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Click to enlarge… this might actually be more interesting than the site discussed below.

Here’s a marginally entertaining way to waste time at work.

You know that game “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon?” I’ll assume you do, lest I think I even less of you than I do already.

So. A MetalSucks Maniac who asked to be identified only as “Bob” found this website, 6 Degrees of Black Sabbath. I don’t know why they chose Black Sabbath for their moniker, since the site is in no way specific to Sabbath; the site will basically connect any two artists you like in as few steps as possible – although there seems to be some lapses in its education. I tried to connect Guns N’ Roses to Iwrestledabearonce, and the site didn’t know who Iwrestledabearonce are. Or Brokencyde. Or Hollywood Undead. The site was, however, able to connect Cannibal Corpse to Ian & Sylvia in fourteen steps. Hm.

ANYWAY, as an example, here’s one Bob did, connecting The Acacia Strain to Ke$ha in seventeen steps. I’m sure the site will also help some of you cheat at our “Dark Tranquillity Family Tree” contest. Or, at the very least, help you procrastinate.

-AR

Five heavy hitting heavy hitters — Alice in Chains, Hatebreed, Austrian Death Machine, Steel Panther and Dethklok — all released new records last week. Solid 2nd and 3rd week performances from Three Days Grace, Muse, Megadeth, Five Finger Death Punch and others made it an all-around big week for metal. Let’s see how everyone fared after the jump.

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Last night a reader known simply as “Tim” e-mailed us to say that Glenn Danzig played drums on Hollywood Undead’s Swan Songs.

Needless to say, I was flabbergasted. Was this true? How come no one had said anything ’til now? So I investigated…

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After the super-slick piece of polished turd that was Lead Sails Paper Anchor didn’t launch Atreyu to super-stardom, the band made it clear that they wanted to get back to their roots with their new album. In fact, here’s a recent quote from singer Alex Varkatzas where he uses that very phrase:

“We started as a heavy hardcore band, and I think we’ve gotten away from that in recent years. The last record, for example, showcased us as a rock band with heavy parts. With this record, we want to return to our roots.”

And here’s Varkatzas from the latest issue of Revolver:

“Without trying to throw anybody under the bus, we looked back at our last record, and it wasn’t 100 percent the way we envisioned it.”

And then guitarist Dan Jacobs does throw somebody under the bus – specifically, producer John “Good Charlotte” Feldman:

“We let him get his hands a little too deep into the project… It made us uncomfortable in trying to express ourselves about what we wanted. He’s a big-time producer dude who’s had much success, so we were like, He must know what he’s talking about. What do we know? We’ve never had a gold or platinum record.”

So now that Atreyu have established that they want to get away from the gloss and “return to our roots,” what would you think is the best way of achieving that goal? A tour with Hollywood Undead? Yeah, that wouldn’t be my career advice, either.

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Last week was a ginormous week for new metal releases, and with new ones from Killswitch and Suicide Silence this week promises to be the same. Topping last week’s crop was Dream Theater’s Black Clouds & Silver Linings which debuted at #6 on the Soundscan Charts. Wait a minute… Dream Theater debuted at #6?? Holy fuckity-fuck. Darkest Hour, The Mars Volta, Maylene and the Sons of Disaster and Goatwhore also had strong debuts. Click through for chart positions and sales numbers.

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This week in Soundscan, supergroup Chickenfoot shifted a ridiculous number of records. I’m baffled too. Elsewhere, Iron Maiden had a solid debut and bands like Nickelback, Hollywood Undead, Shinedown, Slipknot, and Metallica continued on with business as usual.

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When will this horrible, horrible, horrible trend die out? Certainly not any time before June 16th, when Brokencyde’s new album, the appropriately titled I’m Not A Fan… But The Kids Like It comes out. Tours like this one are criss-crossing the country, Revolver is shilling for Hollywood Undead, and there’s a new crunk-core band popping up on the radio seemingly every week. Times are grim, my friends.

Here’s Brokencyde’s new video for “Booty Call.” Watch, fear for the well-being of our nation’s children, then hit up @brokencyde on Twitter and tell them how much they blow.

-VN

The infamous Now That’s What They Call Music comp, now it’s thirtieth iteration (!), will never stop selling. Nor will Hannah Montana. Given, it’s tough for any true metal band to crack the Billboard 200, but Mastodon did just once again that by notching a #11 debut with Crack the Skye, beat out metal-wise only by Papa Roach (ugh). Elsewhere, we got some surprises from Chris Cornell, Twiztid (!?) and others. Sales figures for those and other notable hard rock and metal releases after the jump.

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The May issue of Revolver has an article on Hollywood Undead and “the screamo-crunk explosion,” and while I’m aware that there are people I completely respect who love this shit, this particular sub-genre pretty much makes me want the ending of Dr. Strangelove to come true.

The article included some bands we’ve already declared our hatred for here at MS – the aforementioned Hollywood Undead, Brokencyde, and I Set My Friends on Fire – but also has the unfortunate distinction of having introduced me to Breathe Carolina and 3OH!3.

Honestly, I can’t see how these bands are considered metal, or even hard rock. But, then, I  can’t see how they would be considered anything other than “awful.”

Breathe Carolina, “Diamonds”

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