If my math is correct, the only band to ever go through more line-up changes than Guns N’ Roses is L.A. Guns. And since sometime around ’04/’05, there have been two versions of L.A. Guns in the world, neither of which seems to have a very stable line-up… although I guess, in all fairness, the version with vocalist Phil Lewis and drummer Steve Riley has the better track record, since they just keep losing bass players, and have managed to hold onto guitarist Stacey Blades (yes, the replaces a dude calling himself “Guns” with a dude calling himself “Blades”) for some time now, whereas the version with Tracii Guns himself goes through singers, drummers, and rhythm guitarists the way a thirteen year old boy goes through tissues.

But that doesn’t change the fact that, according to the most recent U.S. Census, if you are a musician living in the greater Los Angeles area, there is a 95% chance that you have been a member of a band calling itself L.A. Guns at some point in the past ten years. And if you’re somehow part of the 5% that hasn’t been in one of the bands, well, now here’s your chance, ’cause according to a posting on his message board, Jizzy Pearl has now split with Tracii Guns’ L.A. Guns:

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We make fun of L.A. Guns quite a bit, mostly because, well, they’re really worth making fun of. For one thing, they’re one of those bands where there’s actually two different versions of the band touring around, claiming to be “L.A. Guns;” the version that doesn’t feature founding guitarist/namesake Tracii Guns hired a dude named – no shit – Stacey Blades as their guitarist. Plus, Tracii is the “Guns” in “Guns N’ Roses,” but quit the band before they got signed, and has spent most of his career trying to prove that he could have been Slash, if given the shot. And they’re one of those bands that claims they were never hair metal even though there’s really no other way to categorize them. So, yeah, they’re pretty silly.

They’re also one of the better hair metal bands of their era, even if they never made it that big in the scheme of things. On Friday night during some drunken rambling about Kix and Love/Hate and whatever other wussy bands crossed our Peroni-soaked brains, a friend and I started reminiscing about the song “Over the Edge” from Hollywood Vampires. I don’t know how the song holds up in the whole pantheon of songs that were cool when you were a kid but aren’t cool anymore, but I still have fun listening to it from time to time.

All I could find for a embedded video was this rip from the Point Break soundtrack. Since Swayze just died, I figured, y’know, fuck it.

-AR

Paul Black, the “original” singer of L.A. Guns who never actually sang on any old L.A. Guns records, has now split from the “new” version of L.A. Guns featuring original L.A. Guns guitarist/namesake Tracii Guns.

Although this would seem to point to a reunion between Tracii Guns and his old bandmates Phil Lewis and Steve Riley, who have continued on with the “old” L.A. Guns in Tracii’s absence, Tracii still has plans to make a new L.A. Guns album with his “new” “old” version of L.A. Guns, who have hired an “as-yet-undisclosed replacement singer with ‘blond’ hair,” according to Blabbermouth*.

Meanwhile, Lewis and Riley carry on with the “old” L.A. Guns and Tracii Guns’ replacement, Stacey Blades.

If you can make sense of any of this, please shoot yourself in the face**.

-AR

*The fact that the word “blond” appears in quotes has to get ya thinking. Are they quoting a source who says the singer is blond? Or do the quotes denote that he’s not a natural blond, like so many singers on the L.A. strip? Stay tuned for the exciting answer!

**MetalSucks does not actually endorse suicide. Please don’t sue us. Thanks.