Editorials

THE DESTRO ARE F*CKIN’ METAL

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How fuckin’ metal? So fuckin’ metal that in bar fights they can only bitch slap their opponents, because hitting them with a closed fist is the legal equivalent of beating someone with an aluminum baseball bat. So fuckin’ metal that they piss hot molten lead and shit lug nuts. So fuckin’ metal that the first thing they do every morning is lather themselves in WD-40. So fuckin’ metal that if they go out in the rain, they rust. So fuckin’ metal that if they go to the beach, they can’t go into the ocean because they’ll sink right to the bottom. So fuckin’ metal that Unearth frontman Trevor Phipps signed them to his Ironclad label after he discovered them during a mining expedition. So fuckin’ metal that they readily loses electrons to form positive ions, and if you put them in a room with a non-metal band, they’d form an ionic bond.

Oh, yes. The Destro are that fuckin’ metal. Check out their MySpace page and find out for yourself.

-AR

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