The Hard R




What Is Real, Neo…

Most of us have had those moments where an opportunity comes up that hits our senses so hard that there are three ways which things go down in our body: there’s a good feeling, a shady feeling and a bad feeling. There is a rush of blood that hits our brain so fast that the only reaction we get is of the gut.

When we found out we were going to be signed I got that GOOD feeling. The feeling of goose bumps. The nervous energy in the pit of your stomach we call butterflies. That was a good feeling. Those moments where you wonder,”Am I dreaming? Is this real?” Then there’s the fear that something can go terribly wrong and you don’t want to look like an idiot for having that feeling that things are going to be OK. Misery is an easy friend and feeling good has it’s consequences. In most cases, the better you feel the worse it can get.

I’ve had a lot of these good moments in my life. I wonder why at times. I think it comes down to one thing: Luck. Luck plays a big part in any opportunity most of us run into. If you’re not quick, that opportunity can pass you by so there is some kind of personal fortitude that goes into these good things that happen to us. Even with that said, luck is what it was for me. I was lucky to be born in a musical family. I was lucky my dad screened crazy movies for me as a kid. I was lucky my family gave me the encouragement to do music for a living even though they knew how hard it was going to be and still is. Shit, I’m lucky I have idiots across the country calling God Forbid a second rate metal-core band when I state my opinion on things. Those beeyatches keep the fire brewing. They say a legend doesn’t die if people still speak of them. I’m not even dead (or a legend) and people are talking about me and my second rate metal-core band! Shit is good!

When these situations happen it makes me think of God. I’ve never been a believer so to speak but I’ve always believed in something. I don’t know if you praise Jesus, Allah or Jehovah but I do think something exists. With the amount of amazing things I’ve been through and experienced there has to be something, doesn’t there?

The cosmic unconscious maybe? I’ve always believed in the nature of gravity, the laws of physics and how the earth rotates. Like history repeating itself. I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

I know it’s a weird subject to ask but what do you believe in? Why do you get up every day and do what you do? Was it a person, a thing or a place? Is it a material thing that you crave?

What makes everything we do here real? I have no fucking clue…

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