Yeah! Almost votin’ time! I mean boy, with my own life being so dull, the time for some good reality TV is definitely now. I can’t wait to see who steals THIS election! It’s looking tough, as the Republican side is playing hardball once again. Apparently, hundreds of absentee ballots were mailed out this week with an oh-so unfortunate typo in the presidential category, reading “Barack Osama.” Some very official person came forward to say that it was merely a typo and not intentional. Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not even suggesting it was necessarily a call made by the McCain campaign, but someone HAD to have premeditated that. The letters B and S aren’t even near each other on the keyboard! And for no one to proofread the official absentee ballots? Ah well, so what if Obama’s name is misspelled on the ballot. I’m sure it will still be a nice and fair election, because who would actually let a typo slip into their consciousness and affect their judgment of character?

In conversations with people I know, trying to be realistic about just how much impact this stuff has on the masses who see it, it will usually get dismissed as so incredibly ridiculous and irrelevant to the real factors considered when choosing a new president. Like, “who is actually so ignorant that they would vote Sarah Palin into the white house?” It’s a valid argument, but try really thinking about it. Do you know someone who never graduated high school? How about someone who has been to jail? Or someone who goes to church every week? Visions of that late 20’s juggalo dude you worked with at Subway that summer between 10th and 11th grade might pop into your head. Uncle Kurt, your stepmom’s shiftless layabout tweeker of a brother might make an appearance too. Soon, you’ll realize that there are all kinds of people in this world with bad decision making skills. So yeah, when you go through youtube and see the 45 second quote-out-of-context videos of Obama and McCain made by their respective opposers, there are probably more “Yeah he’s dumb! Look!” and “Omigawd, who ACTUALLY supports the hunting of those poor wolves?” comments than you think. Remember Howard Dean? A simple war cry cut up and played repeatedly out of context cost him the election in 2004. Did people think that he was insane or something? That he climbed the political ladder the whole way up, gained supporters, made friends, all the while hiding his hootin’ and hollerin’ maniac side from an unsuspecting American public? Only to foolishly let it out at the most inopportune moment possible, right before the election? Boy, they really foiled the most elaborate political conspiracy imaginable! In my head, I flash to a supposed dialogue set in a middle-American home on a Sunday afternoon:

Wife – “There is no way I’ll let that man govern me and my children!”

Husband – “That boy is crazy! Now put the game back on, woman! And a round of beers! Am I right guys? WOOT!”

People are so simple minded that complex issues are reduced to plain black and white. Being pro-choice means you enjoy abortions, if you get riled up like any normal American man, you are not fit to be president, and that if your last name rhymes with a known terrorist’s first name, you two are obviously in cahoots. Such is the nature of capitalism and democracy. Money truly is power. When you own stuff, you cooperate with other people who own stuff so that you can both own more stuff. Then with your combined money and stuff you control the people’s information by owning the media. If 90% of the people could think for themselves, none of these people would be anywhere close to being elected leaders. I bet something like 40% of Americans think that Saddam Hussein was part of Al Qaeda or something along those lines. There would have been no justifying our pre-emptive invasion of Iraq if we had a responsible, non-corporate owned news media. I don’t own a TV, but I am consistently offended any time I happen to see a news show, especially when an election is coming up. It leaves me hopeless and saddens me that I live among people who are so easy to trick. Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California. This guy had no political resume, and people voted for him. Why? Because he’s famous? Probably. It wasn’t even a close election. This just proves that politicians are just puppets. For who? The guys who own everything.

So is it just coincidence that the same year we have our first black presidential candidate, we have a woman vice presidential candidate on the opposing side? No way. What better way to counter poking at America’s white guilt with appealing to America’s working moms and horny dads (which the Democrats invented in the first place with Hillary Clinton)? I mean, it’s too bad we only have a two party system, it would be interesting to see what a few extra parties could bring to the table (whoops!). I think my point is that these people are puppets on the same hand in a lot of ways, and we’re fucked. I hate that I’m going to vote for a Democrat every time, knowing this time that I’m doing it only because the other guy personifies everything that I hate, even more than he does. I guess this blog isn’t meant to instruct you on how to vote (although please don’t vote for McCain/Palin) as much it is about wanting everyone to stop letting the media make decisions for them.


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