ABACABB SUCK. AND I DON’T MEAN “SUCK” IN A TONGUE-IN-CHEEK WAY, LIKE WE DO WITH THE NAME OF THIS SITE. I MEAN THE BAND IS REALLY BAD.

If you like Oceano or have no particular problem with the fact that Emmure shamelessly ripped-off The Acacia Strain, then boy do I have an album for you.

Up ’til now, Sumerian Records has seemed to exist solely to prove that not all music labeled “deathcore” is bad. The Faceless, Born of Osiris, Veil of Maya – these are legitimately talented bands and exciting additions to the modern death metal landscape, and they don’t deserve to be lumped in with some of these other schmucks.

So what the fuck is up with Abacabb’s Survivalist?

This album is as boring as modern death metal comes. I’m usually more inclined to give generic death metal a pass, just because I’m such a naturally angry person that the same recycled Morbid Angel rip-off riff still sounds good to me, so long as it sounds appropriately violent and/or evil – and I still don’t wanna listen to this album ever again. I mean, Satan Rosenbloom offered to throw himself on the grenade and review this album for us, but I just couldn’t let him be the hero – he has too much to live for.

So here I am. I don’t even know what to say about this album. There are some movie samples on it. They make me wish I was listening to the new Graf Orlock album instead.

Look: I feel like I’m shitting all over Abacabb’s dreams, and I feel terrible about it. I hope they use this review as motivation to prove me wrong, and to still be around in five or ten years, making awesome records that everyone celebrates as innovative and revolutionary while laughing at me for lacking the vision and insight to recognize the group’s inimitable genius.

I also hope that during that journey, they choose a new band name that isn’t so stupid I don’t even care what they think it means.

Anyways. About that Graf Orlock album…

(one out of five horns)

-AR