Hair Metal Happy Hour



Thanks to reader Brett S. for sending us this tidbit…

Sometimes when I listen to metal, I think “Hey, this is awesome. I bet if there were no screaming or blast beats and an orchestra were playing the music instead of loud, crunchy guitars, people would actually give this the respect it deserves.” I mean, there’s a clear connection between metal and classical music, so it’s not really that big of a stretch.

But I’ve never, ever had that thought while listening to “Seventeen.”

And yet Kip Winger – leader and namesake of the band Winger (duh), a hair metal outfit so wussy even I don’t like them – has composed an orchestral piece, which will be debuted by the Tuscon Symphony Orchestra in November.

And, oh yeah, Kip’s name is “C.F. Winger” now.

The “C.F.” stands for Charles Frederick – “Kip” is Mr. Winger’s second middle name – although you wonder why the guy isn’t just going by “Charles Winger” or, since he’s not keeping it a secret that he and C.F. Winger are one and the same, just “Kip.” I mean, changing your name to some pretentious initials seems like a move designed to distance yourself from your AquaNet-suffused past, and yet there’s Winger’s most famous moniker, right there on TSO’s official website, which describes the ballerina-turned-cock rocker thusly:

In the early 1990s with his band, Winger, he released the platinum recordings Winger, In the Heart of the Young and Pull and led the quartet on sold-out world tours. London’s Classic Rock Magazine called him “one of the most gifted composers and arrangers in the rock genre” and praised his “compulsion to experiment.” While topping the charts, he continued to pursue his interest in composition.

“One of the most gifted composers and arrangers in the rock genre.” Sure. And I’m one of the most talented writers in the history of music criticism, and MetalSucks is going to change the world as we know it forever.

Anyway, if any of our Tuscon readers go to this thing, please let us know how it is. Seriously. We care.


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